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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want DH to take him with me on a work trip abroad?

50 replies

ButteryJam · 28/03/2013 22:45

DH is going on a 10 day work trip to the Middle East when I'll be 34 weeks. I'm happy for him to go but would really like to go with him! He'll be staying at a lush hotel and as I'm on maternity leave then, I could just rest, go to the spa, go shopping and just enjoy myself :)

DH is not keen due to a) he thinks ill be in the way (I'm very very independent so I won't be in the way) b) say I go into labour there (well at least he'll be there then!). I also think secretly he thinks its awkward as his other colleagues will be with him and they tend to go out together for dinner every evening etc. and also he has never ever heard of anyone else dragging their spouse with them (but we are in an exceptional situation Smile).

Anyhow so AIBU or is he?

OP posts:
SummerFin · 28/03/2013 23:10

No, you just said yourself that you hope people back off.

You only said IABU because you didn't like the responses.

Original poster
ButteryJam · 28/03/2013 23:11

SummerFin, of course I liked the responses! They knocked sense into me as I said in my earlier posts! I very happily admitted and admit I was wrong!

OP posts:
grovel · 28/03/2013 23:12

Buttery, your OP was the lovely musing of a mum to be. Sorry that sense has to prevail. Good luck and random love.

Original poster
ButteryJam · 28/03/2013 23:13

Thanks grovel! Smile

OP posts:
SummerFin · 28/03/2013 23:13

Yes dear if you say so.

Mumsyblouse · 28/03/2013 23:15

I see why you were thinking it might be nice, but as everyone has said, practicality has to prevail. You really wouldn't want to go to a very hot country heavily pregnant. But it's sweet you wanted to go with him- and that you admitted YABU!

Rindercella · 28/03/2013 23:21

summerfin, why so rude? You seem to know the OP's mind better than she does. How odd.

buttery, very pleased you have had some sense knocked into you! Enjoy that time alone...veg out, book yourself a day or two of pampering and make the most of it. Best of luck with the pregnancy and the baby Smile

Trills · 28/03/2013 23:23

YABU for blaming the app for you writing your words in the wrong order.

Trills · 28/03/2013 23:24

Could you do some shopping and spa-ing (and watching TV that he hates-ing) at home?

thenightsky · 28/03/2013 23:25

Hmmm, well, I'm going to go slightly (but only slightly) against the tide here and say its not a bad idea to be fair. I did a similar thing at 36 weeks. It didn't involve flying, but there was a lot of train travel and it was a hot summer. I don't regret it for a moment and DS was born 6 days after I got home.

atosilis · 28/03/2013 23:25

Go. Get insurance, lie in the sun and have a great time. Even if you have the baby, you will have the best attention.

Whoknowswhocares · 28/03/2013 23:28

But that's the whole point. She won't be allowed on the plane. She won't get travel insurance

LadyBeaEGGleEyes · 28/03/2013 23:29

Op has said she's been unreasonable, with very good grace.
Summerfin, what Rindercella said.
And buttery, be prepared to be told your'e unreasonable for quite a few posts from people that don't RTFT.

atosilis · 28/03/2013 23:30

Seriously, go. You will really be able to relax in the sunshine, or the air-conditioned hotel spa. This is really a lovely break before you have the baby.

grovel · 28/03/2013 23:30

But she can dream! I instinctively like her! She's a good egg!

atosilis · 28/03/2013 23:31

34 weeks on a 7 hr flight, no problem.

bonkersLFDT20 · 28/03/2013 23:38

I would hate, hate, hate my DH joining me on a work trip abroad.
My personal and work life are very separate.
Anyway, I need him to stay home and look after the children Smile

TheBigJessie · 29/03/2013 00:28

Go. Get insurance, lie in the sun and have a great time. Even if you have the baby, you will have the best attention. Emphasis on insurance if she goes...

Premature baby in a country with no NHS, without insurance?

TheBigJessie · 29/03/2013 00:29

And imagine getting the baby back home!

woollyideas · 29/03/2013 00:32

Do give over, summerfin. Very unnecessary.

whois · 29/03/2013 00:36

You are U cos of the pregnancy, not for wanting to go.

I've stayed in my DPs hotel room when he's been away with work. Rule is you have to be totally independent and not expect to see them at all. Defo don't think you'll be going to work dinners. But totally fun to stay in a hotel room you can't afford and go off and see the city on your own or relax in the hotel pool.

My DP has also been and stayed with me when I was away with work. In the middle of an industrial wasteland industrial estate. Now my colleagues were a bit "eh?" about that but we hasn't seen each other for nearly 3 months and he had plenty of his own work to be doing during the day :-)

humblebumble · 29/03/2013 00:46

Where in the middle east?

If it's Dubai, then the hospitals are pretty good, especially if you have an uncomplicated birth. Although you wouldn't get insurance, I assume.
34 weeks is pretty far along though, you would probably make your DH quite anxious.
Most likely you would have a lovely time. Personally I wouldn't take the risk, although I completely you understand you considering it. 10 days in the sunshine being pampered ... bliss.

Lovetobrowse · 29/03/2013 02:59

Buttery I went to Dubai at 28 weeks, although I knew my travel insurance excluded pregnancy beyond 26 weeks. I had a lovely time but later gave birth, back in UK unexpectantly at just 32 weeks. The baby was in neonatal for 4 weeks, he was fine and the NHS were fantastic. Made me realise though how different things would have been if he had come while we were away. I can't imagine what the cost (if nothing else) of those 4 weeks in a private hospital in Dubai would have been. Personally I would never travel without insurance while pregnant again... Hope that helps if you are still considering it.

Monty27 · 29/03/2013 03:04

Grow up! Too risky.

Maybe he could stay at home instead? I get that you want to be with him, he should want to be with you at that stage too.

Just saying.

Alligatorpie · 29/03/2013 04:45

Most airlines let you fly at 36 weeks with a dr's note

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