To ask if you could punch a cake, which cake would you punch?

[littlemissbunny]

Inspired by Marmalades thread, I have been thinking about how much fun cake punching would be!

I would like to punch a Victoria sponge, all that jam and cream splattering would be very satisfying :o

So what cake would you punch?

Is there something...'sexual' about Red Velvet cake?

I don't know, Tigs. Is there?

The way some people talk about it, the scarlet insides, the sensual word "Velvet", the "Mmmmmmmms" when you tuck in...

I'm just off for a walk. Back later.

I don't know. There's just a WRONGNESS about it and I don't know for sure what it is

On the subject of cake...

My three-year-old has just informed me he will be having a snail cake on his fourth birthday. I can't bake. Where do I buy one of these?

At "aggressively made Christmas cake". That's a perfect description.

Jessie, cut a Swiss roll into slices, make "feelers" out of.....something (not an expert, cheesestraws?) and voila! Individual snail cakes....

Thank you!

This thread reminds me of the time the host of a BBQ I was at drop-kicked a carrot cake into his neighbour's garden.

Or, Big Jessie, get a swiss roll and bake one single circular sponge. Stand circle sponge on its side, for the shell, shove swiss roll up to it to make the body, secrete it all in place with a fuckload of chocolate icing and bung 2 lollipops into the end of the swiss roll for feelers. If you're feeling mental really swish, place some smarties in swirl on both sides of the shell, then mix some dessicated coconut with green food colouring and place that round the snail to look like grass. Shove a couple of sugar flowers out of a packet onto it.

Yes, it's me, Martha Stewart. Honestly. That'll be £50 please. I accept Paypal.

NO at stollen. God I love that. But it's 90 percent marzipan, and the rest is fruit, so not really a cake per se.

Fresh cream sponge, right in the middle
BAM
[bugrin]

That dry mealy quark cake they serve up in Germany every day at 3pm.

Shove a firework in it, light the blue touch paper......

KABOOOOOM!

splat

I've only just come back to this thread.

Thought Meringue could pass as a cake. The crunch would be satisfying.

Ok then, i'll punch one of those ready made children's birthday cakes.
The Gruffalo one might be good.

Jaffa Cakes.

They just aren't big enough, little fuckers.

Carrot cake with nuts. Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy have you ruined a perfectly edible cake with nuts?

I know we are not really allowed to branch out into confectionery, but I could smash a walnut whip to smithereens.

Easy. Cupcakes. When did a £3 muffin with a frosting become so important. Actually, wouldn't punch, would sit on and squash said latest accessory (along with a handbag dog and blacked out Hummer.

My Dds One Direction Cake. I didn't though, just enjoyed chopping them up

I would love to cave in a Batternburg, and smell the sweet almondy smell of violence on my knickles. I fact I am off to Sainsburys now to kick Mr Kiplings' cakey butt.

Coffee and walnut. Punching it would be far more satisfying than eating the revolting bugger.

If we are allowed to punch two at the same time, I would punch a Victoria sponge with one hand and a lemon meringue with the other :o

Just think of the mess and my hands would taste yummy

jaffa cakes are biscuits. :)

i'd slap shit out of a chocolate roll - its a waste of chocolate and cake - a fucking WASTE

Bring em all on, the fuckers.

I was having such a shit day until this thread. Pickledinapeartree, I actually cried laughing when I got to you. :)