To ask if you could punch a cake, which cake would you punch?

[littlemissbunny]

Inspired by Marmalades thread, I have been thinking about how much fun cake punching would be!

I would like to punch a Victoria sponge, all that jam and cream splattering would be very satisfying :o

So what cake would you punch?

[girlwiththedragon]

because of its slimy nasty skin I mean

[Bingdweller]

A Hello Kitty birthday cake. Smug wee fucker.

[HappyDogRedDogToss]

I imagine a creamy meringue would really splat... but my heart choice would be Katy nobber I Can't Cook's courgette cake.

[Lucyellensmum95]

Anything made my Nigella smugface lawson

[BikeRunSki]

Does pavlova count as a cake?

I fancy punching through the crunch of the meringue crust, into the gooey soft meringue and cream underneath.

And liking my hands clean afterwards!

[girlwiththedragon]

What is a courgette cake? Is that like a solid vegetable pate? Bleurgh it sounds fucking vile. I will spare the Jamaica Ginger cake and punch the courgette pate freak-thing instead. Can we ask Katy-whoever to hold it while I punch it?

[Inertia]

Cheesecake. Gooey claggy stuff.

[trikken]

Im with all of you on the fruit cake. Grr fruitcake

[Badvoc]

...and don't get me started on French fucking fancies!
They properly bring on the rage in me.

[QuintEggSensuality]

Chocolate fudge cake. Then I would lick my fist.

[OxfordBags]

I'd roundhouse the shit out of Christmas cake. Yeah, you heard me. Bastard fruit cake and marzipan at the same time? Get fucked, you sick freak of a confection.

Battenburg also deserves some proper Bruce Lee-stylee punishment, the chequered cunt. Enter that dragon, motherfucker!

[SecretLindtBunny]

Blackforest gateau.

Seventies throwback.

[Badvoc]

Oh, and fucking stollen!
I mean...why? Just...why?

[toxtethogrady]

battenberg. the evil half sibling of angel cake.

oh and fruit cake

[TheBigJessie]

I'd perform an array of sophisticated kicks against a giant Magdalena cake.

Aldi's marzipan Stollen, on the other hand, is wonderful.

enormouse

That's terrible! Have you been supplied with lots of egg-free recipes since then? If not, try this cake! allrecipes.co.uk/recipe/2223/basic-chocolate-cake.aspx

[OxfordBags]

Oh God, Stollen! Truly the proof that Satan walks amongst us (I also fucking hate panettone).

[anonymosity]

a 4 tiered wedding cake and i would like to kick it!

[KenDoddsDadsDog]

One of those long cream doughnuts or finger buns. Splat.

[SanityClause]

DH has looked at me all confused, and said "Battenburg, of course!" There followed a long explanation about how the squares would help you gauge the strength of the punch and level of destruction, followed by the statement "Battenburg is the crash test dummy of cakes!" and and

[montage]

I immediately thought of Battenburg but could not have explained why half so well as Sanity's DH.

[macreturnofthe]

banana cake for fooling you into thinking its a nice fruit cake...until you discover it tastes of banana - BLEURGHHHH!!!!

I went to a meeting once where the host always made great cake (my favorite meetings) I was very excited by the prospect of fruit cake, helped my self to a large piece. Can you imagine my disappointment at finding it was banana cake, I had to keep a straight face, resist the urge to vomit and smile and say how great it was.

I then spent the rest of the meeting trying to work out how to hide the rest:

1. without being spotted
   
2. without ruining my notes, laptop or pockets
   

moral of the story - always check what the cake is before eating it!

[PickledInAPearTree]

Id like to kick the fuck out of a wedding cake.

[FannyBazaar]

The cake that someone proudly presents as one they have 'made' themselves with a smug but when asked more, admits it's out of a packet mix. That's precisely the point at which I want to punch it.

[doorbellringer]

I though someone would have said the Iceland Xmas Bailey's wonder by now!?

I'd get all Chuck Norris on Danish Patries. Stodgy fucking glazed disappointments!

[KenDoddsDadsDog]

doorbell ringer !