My friends 4 year old trashed Ds bedroom and broke his expensive birthday toy.

[Cannierelax]

AIBU to want some form of compensation for the broken toy? Perhaps a replacement or even a similair but cheaper toy. My Ds is 5.5 and my friends Dd is 4.5. When i told my friend Ds was really upset she said, well that's what kids do. Em, not my child. Aibu? My friend was there when this happened and gave her Dd a row. She knew that the toy was broken but I said I would get DH to try and mend it. I've just messaged her saying DH Was not able to repair it at this point. At this point she stated that's what children do. I messaged back that it was a birthday gift he was looking forward to for several months. She hasn't messaged back.

what was the toy?

If my child broke something in someone else's house I would replace it. The fact that she hasn't offered indicates to me that she doesn't think it's necessary to do so.

I would try to replace the toy myself but make a mental note not to invite that woman and her child round again.

This is such a difficult situation. How broken is the toy? Will your DS still be able to play with it a bit?

I would replace a toy if my child broke a toy.

The reasonable,decent and right thing to do is replace the toy.

I hate this all kids break toys/trash houses/write on walls crap. No they don't if they have been taught to treat things with respect. I would replace anything my child broke in someone else's house.

If she's not willing to accept responsibility then I wouldn't be letting her child anywhere near your ds's stuff.

While we're ranting why don't people teach their kids to put pen lids back on. Ds's friends are only allowed to use pencil crayons in our house now.

If my son had destroyed something, I'd expect to replace it. If he trashed the room as well he sound like he's wild. Making a huge mess is one thing, trashing a room is not

It was a Lego city toy. It cost £70. DH was unable to rebuild it as the girl left it in pieces and mixed it in with a bucket full of Lego. Also we didn't have instructions left for it. My Ds was absolutely devastated, screaming/ howling when it happened. It's just that he has been unwell recently and I knew how long he waited for it and he has mentioned how sad he is as he can't play with it recently.

I'm a childminder and I have it in my T&C's that if a child breaks a toy I reserve the right to charge for it. This is because I've had issues with a child stamping on toys and ripping books and the parents thought this was acceptable.

I think your friend is being very unreasonable and should replace the toy.

I would (and have in the past) buy a replacement if one of my DC broke someone else's toy - I would either just do it or offer to do it immediately, I wouldn't wait to be asked.

I don't know what I'd do in your position - how good a friend is she? Can you ask her up front if she could replace it/contribute towards replacing it or will that not go down well?

YANBU to expect her to replace such an expensive toy. But given that she hasn't offered she obviously doesn't feel she should.

Which leaves you with two choices, make a big thing of it and lose the friendship; or let it go.

IIWY I would never host them again.

So it hasn't been broken, just disassembled?

You might be able to find instructions online.

We once had a visiting child take everything out of DD2's wardrobe, screw it up and cram it into a trunkie and several small bags....

OP, the child sounds quite destructive. I wouldn't have them round again

It's lego. Rebuild it. There are instructions online. Unless she has snapped any actual pieces it's just a case of spending time finding the instructions and putting it back together - annoying but not a friendship dealbreaker imo.

You can get Lego instructions on line, if you simply mean she has taken it apart then it's not broken.

Could you get the instructions online? My dp spend three hours rebuilding a Lego helicopter as it was dismantled by another child and the pieces all got mixed up.... It can be done - it's just painstakingly boring.

You can get all the Lego instructions online so yabu really - Lego doesn't "break" as such does it??

I am sure you have already looked but are you sure you can't find the instructions online. Try here

Hmmm. Cross posts. So the lego isn't actually broken and could be rebuilt if you could find the instructions? Have you googled for the instructions? My DS would be gutted if his lego dinosaur thingy got broken up but it's not quite the same thing as actually damaging a toy IMO.

What set is it and I'll get you a link for the pdf of the instructions.

x-posts with everyone - slow typing today

Oh. So it's not actually broken then? It's just going to be a total pain in the arse to reassemble?

Then I do think it would be unreasonable to expect her to buy a replacement! She's right. Kids will take lego apart.

I think you should get instructions for it and rebuild it.

It's lego. Kids will always pull it apart! It's what it does. It comes apart and you can build lots of things with it.

You can download instructions here service.lego.com/en-gb/buildinginstructions/.

You can get the instructions online btw: service.lego.com/en/buildinginstructions/

Sorry but how does a city lego toy 'break'? Lego is pretty much indestructible. If you just need to build it together but have lost instructions look in the Lego website and they'll re-send them to you or you can download them. It sounds to me like nothing was really broken.