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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think if you don't want a baby you use protection?

91 replies

lovelylentils · 27/03/2013 23:04

Dh is saying he does not want dc3 but keeps having unprotected sex with me even though he knows i do want dc3 and that i would not have an abortion.

OP posts:
Shesparkles · 27/03/2013 23:06

To be honest, I don't think I'd be having unprotected sex with someone who didn't want a baby.

ZZZenAgain · 27/03/2013 23:07

so what is his plan for when you get pregnant which will happen eventually?

RocksThatIGot · 27/03/2013 23:07

He clearly doesn't not want dc3 that badly then. He must have figured out how it works by now.

serin · 27/03/2013 23:07

You need to talk.

Tortoiseontheeggshell · 27/03/2013 23:08

I assume you've said this to him? DH, I am not using contraception, and if I get pregnant then I am going to keep the baby?

CruCru · 27/03/2013 23:08

Then either he secretly does want DC3 (or doesn't mind) or is an idiot.

Is he responsible for contraception? Does he know you aren't using the pill / IUD / diaphragm etc?

DoJo · 27/03/2013 23:08

You should both stop having sex until you decide what you want. It's an awful way to bring a child into the world.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 27/03/2013 23:08

Arent you involved in this sex? Is he really just doing it to you? Is it just his responsibility?

SirBoobAlot · 27/03/2013 23:09

Why are you continuing to have sex with him if you know this is a problem? You need to talk.

LadyBeaEGGleEyes · 27/03/2013 23:09

Does he know what a condom is?

StuntGirl · 27/03/2013 23:09

You need to have a rational, adult discussion with him.

And to stop having sex until you do.

This is no way to bring a child into the world.

ZZZenAgain · 27/03/2013 23:10

Is he going to demand that you have an abortion? Is he going to leave you? What is he planning to do when you get pregnant? And what are you going to do? I know you want a baby but be careful you are not getting into something drastic here

SkinnybitchWannabe · 27/03/2013 23:10

Sort out your own, its not all up to him.
Dont have sex..simple.

Original poster
lovelylentils · 27/03/2013 23:14

No he knows exactly how i feel. That i want dc3 and that i will not use contraception. He knows that if i get pregnant i will not have an abortion. He has an a level in biology ffs!
He's not stupid. And i make no appology for not running round sorting out contraception pills et that will make me ill when he can't be arsed to buy condoms

OP posts:
Pandemoniaa · 27/03/2013 23:15

YABU. Sort this out yourselves before bringing an unwanted child into the world.

Iamsparklyknickers · 27/03/2013 23:15

Well he's a twat then isn't he? You're not looking much better.

Tbh it sounds like you're both being ridiculous, you both know the consequences of what you're doing, passing the buck and passively aggressively both continuing to do something which will end in a huge argument and one party seeting with restment is just daft and childish.

Imho you could both do with trying out your grown up shoes and talking about it like the parents you already are and taking responsibilty for both of your own actions.

Why are you putting yourself in the position of potentially bringing a resented child into the world? Stop having sex with a man who isn't on the same page, it's as bad as being the man who doesn't want kids but doesn't protect himself.

Bloody stupid.

ZZZenAgain · 27/03/2013 23:17

so then when you get pregnant you can say it was his fault. Well be careful. You have two dc to look after and you may find yourself with a third on the way and no husband.

People manage in that situation but it isn't ideal. You do sound a bit irresponsible to me, I'm sorry.

FannyBazaar · 27/03/2013 23:18

Does he show responsibility towards other things or is he always happy for you to deal with the consequences of his actions. I think you need to talk. Talk about contraception and maybe more.

Dannilion · 27/03/2013 23:22

'that I want dc3 and I will not use protection'.

I don't know if there are enough words to express how wrong that statement is.

Here, Biscuit

CandlestickOlder · 27/03/2013 23:24

You are both being incredibly unreasonable. Grow up.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 27/03/2013 23:25

You are both being ridiculous and acting like children. God help your future dc3.

shesariver · 27/03/2013 23:28

And the reason you are having unprotected sex is......

beanandspud · 27/03/2013 23:30

I'm sorry but you both need to have an adult coversation here.

You have two DC, why on earth would you consider having another child with a parent that didn't want him/her? Were your other children planned or were the circumstances similar to this one?

scottishmummy · 27/03/2013 23:37

He doesn't have unprotected sex.you both have unprotected sex
You know be doesn't want baby yet ignore this?why dont you use protection?
no idea why you consider child with reluctant parent

SchroSawMargeryDaw · 27/03/2013 23:37

I don't think I can say if YABU without knowing what his reaction will be when you do get pregnant.

If he would go mental and you know that then really you should be using something, if it's a couldn't care so much attitude then I dunno.