Aibu to think if I want to go on the fucking plane I shall go on the fucking plane?

[Freddiemisagreatshag]

Or is my dislike of the ex making me act "irrationally" (which is what he alleges)

Me and the ex and all of the DCs have been invited to an event. We have separate invites, me and him, but we are all invited. It is very important to the person doing the inviting that we are there and that we bring the DCs

Ex was on the phone last night (discussion Easter holiday arrangements which have to change to suit him - whole other thread) and asked me did I get invited. I said yes

He then said "good. We can all go in my car"

I said no I wanted to fly.

He says I'm being irrational.

My reasons are :

His driving stresses me. I hate sitting in the car with him driving

DD GETS CAR SICK I don't want this any more than we have to why put her through it

The plane is just a cheap and quicker and we can get collected at the other end

I think it sends the wrong message for us all to rock up together. We are not together. We are divorced and have been for years. We are not a happy family.

So Aibu?

[YellowDinosaur]

Excellent text.

Now if he comes back and tries to argue / call you irrational / whatever just say 'I've told you my plans. I'm not discussing this any more'. And then ignore any further texts.

And this:

I think not wanting to spend hours in the car with a tightfisted controlling ex is one of the most rational things I have ever heard

With bells on.

[Freddiemisagreatshag]

I just checked maths. The ferry alone is nearly 400 - the only way his way is cheaper is if we go together. And the flights/train were 250 so 400-250 is 150. Plus his diesel cost. I doubt he's saving any more than the 40 he said it was cheaper. Which is TWENTY FUCKING QUID EACH.

[HeadfirstForHalos]

What a nob! Great reply too.

[Freddiemisagreatshag]

If we all fly its 245. That's for the 5 of us. SO THAT'S 122.50 each plus 15 each to pay DS train. So that total is 137.50 each

MY WAY IS FUCKING CHEAPER. UP YOURS DICKHEAD.

Please someone check I've worked that out right before I crow too much?

[Freddiemisagreatshag]

A turbo prop (what's that?) private plane is £6,680.

Donations please to

[email protected]

[MarinaIvy]

your cost benefit analysis is fatally flawed ..., oh gods, freddie, you are adorable!

And don't worry about the polysyllablism. This is Mumsnet, not Netmums.

saucer of milk for Marina's table, please

[Freddiemisagreatshag]

He is ignoring that text. He's texted since to ask me something else but has hasn't said a peep about that one.

[SquinkieBunnies]

He's ignoring it cause he knows you are right.

[MarinaIvy]

Yeah, has he ever admitted you're right about things? I'm suspecting: No.

I have to wonder what's going to happen next! Now that you're not subsidising his ferry costs, is he going to cave and take a plane? Hmmm...

Have you picked an outfit yet? I know an orange dress was being mentioned for a bit...

[Thumbwitch]

Excellent text Freddie, and all the better for NOT swearing, because you haven't shown that you are riled. :)

He's a dick. He is, definitely, trying to get you to subsidise his trip so he can fuck right off.

I just BET, if you and the girls fly, that he will end up flying too. Dickwad. Or not going because he's a selfish cock.

Using the children in his argument with you is another very good reason why he is now an ex. That's a seriously low blow, bastard.

Boooooook theeeee fliiiiiggghhhhhhhts...

[LittleBearPad]

I love your text. Book those flights and have a wonderful time being proud of your lovely DS.

[StuntGirl]

I love your text

Don't give him any more head space. Get the kids excited about the plane ride and all the fabulous things you'll be doing at your sons graduation. You'll all have a blast

Oh, and congratulations to your son!

[Tortoiseontheeggshell]

You're doing well, Freddie. Although you do still have a tendency to pre-empt (imaginary) criticisms. Here you are talking about car sickness and cost benefit analysis and whatnot, when really all you have to do is say "Because I want to fly". But this is the thing, isn't it, when you've lived with a controlling man, it takes forever to stop listening to the criticisms in your own head.

Right, now. He's told, the flights are sorted (they are booked, right?). What are you going to weeeeeaaaaarrrrrr?

[ZebraOwl]

YANBU - indeed, you are being Awesome.

What a worm your ex-H is. And that's doing worms a serious disservice, too.

He is an eejit & trying to get at your DDs like that is vile. Can you show them the cost calculations to reassure them?

Hope you have a fantastic time. And that your ex is the victim of a mysterious Squirrel Attack (or similar).

[ChasedByBees]

Great! One thing though - I wouldn't give your DCs a choice about how to get there (i.e. With you or him) I'd book them flights. If they go with him, it'll be a crap and cramped journey and they'll likely be subjected to guilt trips and miserly-ness. Let them fly free (or £122.50 each) and have some joy!

[SoupDreggon]

Fabulous text :)

[hermioneweasley]

This has made my day! Brilliant text Freddie, have a wonderful time a the graduation!

[ChazsBrilliantAttitude]

Great text

[Walkacrossthesand]

Awesome. Your reasoning is right at every level, FreddieM - how interesting that he hasn't replied to your text, all innocent-like, saying 'no, no, I wasn't going to ask you to pay half, honest..' so there's absolutely nothing he can say instead! Do book those flights though - you can find out when DS graduation is on his Uni website - as there will be a lot of people wanting to fly in a short space of time and if it's a small regional airport it would be such a tragedy to find flights full...Hopefully FWXH isnt so vindictive that he won't try to shaft you get his own back by (eg) taking DCs off on minibreak scheduled to return on day of flight and 'oh dear we've been held up so they'll have to drive up with me' - be wary!

[Walkacrossthesand]

Sorry - double negative around vindictiveness - for won't read will!

[caramelwaffle]

Have a great time.

Great text.

Well done for getting away from him.