Aibu to think if I want to go on the fucking plane I shall go on the fucking plane?

[Freddiemisagreatshag]

Or is my dislike of the ex making me act "irrationally" (which is what he alleges)

Me and the ex and all of the DCs have been invited to an event. We have separate invites, me and him, but we are all invited. It is very important to the person doing the inviting that we are there and that we bring the DCs

Ex was on the phone last night (discussion Easter holiday arrangements which have to change to suit him - whole other thread) and asked me did I get invited. I said yes

He then said "good. We can all go in my car"

I said no I wanted to fly.

He says I'm being irrational.

My reasons are :

His driving stresses me. I hate sitting in the car with him driving

DD GETS CAR SICK I don't want this any more than we have to why put her through it

The plane is just a cheap and quicker and we can get collected at the other end

I think it sends the wrong message for us all to rock up together. We are not together. We are divorced and have been for years. We are not a happy family.

So Aibu?

[Tee2072]

What a waste of time! Your poor son that he's dad doesn't want to see him more.

[lashingsofbingeinghere]

God, OP, it's almost worth saving up to charter a private jet so you can really trip his Mr Mean switch.

I would just book the flights/train as suits you and disengage.

[GreatSoprendo]

Your son sounds so lovely - how nice for him to want to spend his graduation weekend with his family. Bless him! As you said, is a one off event and special for both you and for DS. You will never get that weekend again.

Get it booked and have a fabulous time

[WhereYouLeftIt]

"He's talking - arrive, go to graduation, straight home. No meal after."
Jeez, what a joy-sucker! Your plan sounds so much better. And how fab is your son!

As soon as you said your ex was tight, my first thought was that driving was all about you subsidising his transport.

Hope you have a great time. Don't go the pastel suit path, killer frock and heels sounds so much more you.

[InkySkink]

Is it possible that Mr £2.40 didn't really actually want you in the car as much as he was looking for you to subsidise his transport?
Maybe that's what got him so annoyed.

[ImTooHecsyForYourParty]

How on earth did you let such a catch slip through your fingers.

I think you just have to do the broken record technique on him.

Don't attempt to explain or justify. Just stick to "I have chosen to take a flight. I have chosen to take a flight. I have chosen to take a flight."

It is my choice. It is my decision.

tbh, I would be saying look, I don't CARE what you think. I am not going to obey you. I am making my own way there. You do what you like. I do not want to have another conversation about this with you. Are we clear?

[ChairmanWow]

He's talking - arrive, go to graduation, straight home. No meal after.

He's probably thinking 'Ha haaa! I get to save the £20 I would have spent on a meal. Plus the £2.40.' What a fucking genius.

Great for you though. Not so great for your son, who sounds totally bloody amazing and deserving of a dad who worships the ground he walks on.

[Freddiemisagreatshag]

I am raging.

Just picked the DDs up from school (early finish for Easter)

"Daddy said we should stay at Granny X's because flights are expensive"


I told them not to be so daft, flights were cheap as chips and if DS wanted them there, and they wanted to be there, they'd be there.

And the ex can fuck off. To fuck. And then a bit more.

[ImTooHecsyForYourParty]

Bloody hell.

does he actually think that he can make you do what he wants?

I think you need to tell him straight to butt out. That he isn't in charge of you and you will do what the hell you like.

Book those flights now. For you and the kids.

And he can go stuff himself.

[Thumbwitch]

Your ex is ex for a reason. And the reason is quite plain to see.
He has NO CONTROL over your behaviour now, and if you want to spend the money on flights, then that is exactly what you should do.

Your DS has plans for a great time for his family. Your ex wants to fuck those plans up because he is a narsty controlling tightwad bastard. You, otoh, want your DS to have a lovely graduation.

So - book the sodding tickets and tell the ex to do one.

[Freddiemisagreatshag]

At this point if the flights were hundreds each I'd find the money.

How dare he lay it on children about expense and stuff? That's something that kids don't need to be concerned with. In this case it's my decision, if I decide then that's all that matters.

Just as well I never expected him to play fair and fund half isn't it? Because I know damn fine well and rightly he won't pay a penny.

[FayeKorgasm]

Freddie your ex is a total wanker!

Fly and have a wonderful time with you DC's. It is a wonderful day and should be and fun, relaxing and happy time. (my DS graduated last year)

Wear something wonderful, I wore an orange dress from Reiss I don't do beige.

[Freddiemisagreatshag]

liking the orange dress. That's much more ME than beige suit and a wee hat.

[Freddiemisagreatshag]

Honest to God I am fucking fuming now. Really properly raging.

How fucking dare he? Who the fuck does he think he is to tell me how to fucking live my life?

[ImTooHecsyForYourParty]

Was he controlling when you were together?

He is being a total arse about this. Did he expect you to say yes master, whatever you decide master, I will bend to thy will...

[FayeKorgasm]

I had rather a lot of champagne too!

[Freddiemisagreatshag]

Hecsy - yes he was very controlling. Or rather, I think he was, he says he isn't at all controlling.

He's not, as long as you do as you are told. He is very "yes oh great one I shall do as I am told" (there's another thread in relationships I have stepped away from because the OP reminds me so much of him it makes my skin crawl)

[VanitasVanitatum]

I cannot believe he tried to undermine you via your children! Why is he still so obsessed with you, and why does he even have an opinion on what you do with your money?! Wear a very big hat too and sit in front of him at the ceremony.

[ImTooHecsyForYourParty]

xpost.

calm, calm

do not give him this power over you by getting angry. He can shoot his mouth off all he likes but he has no control here. You do.

Stay calm and remember that he has no say in this. Book the flights, do things the way you want to and be very clear that you don't give a shit what he thinks.

If he sees you angry, he knows he's got under your skin.

[Thumbwitch]

Wear a hat that says "I'm NOT with Wankbadger here" and an arrow pointing to your ex.

He is a massive pompous windbag, full of hot air and shit, he has NO control over you nor your DC, he's just trying to throw his weight around. Let it go - you know you're going to do what YOU want to regardless of his impotent blusterings - so stop raging or you'll give yourself a headache - just get on and book the tickets and have a lovely time with your DC and your DS on his graduation. And if Wankbadger decides not to bother his arse to go by himself then, although that would be a slight sadness for your DS, the rest of you will have a much nicer time without him, so it would be a bonus.

In the meantime get yourself one of these and have fun.

[Freddiemisagreatshag]

Oh I won't show him I'm angry that plays right into his hands.

calm thoughts rabbits and kittens and easter eggs and wine and skipping happily through a meadow

[Freddiemisagreatshag]

That doll is brilliant

I'm going to take my kids out and buy spurious fun groceries. I'm living on the edge.

[LyonsDemesne]

It is feck all to do with him how you chose to arrive it also feck all to do with him how you spend your money.
Book it , and have a fabulous time !!

[SoupDreggon]

I may, in the past, have sent a text to my ex that said "butt the fuck out of my life you control freaky wanker"

[Thumbwitch]

Boooook the fliiiiiggghhhhhhttsssss... do it!