Aibu to think if I want to go on the fucking plane I shall go on the fucking plane?

[Freddiemisagreatshag]

Or is my dislike of the ex making me act "irrationally" (which is what he alleges)

Me and the ex and all of the DCs have been invited to an event. We have separate invites, me and him, but we are all invited. It is very important to the person doing the inviting that we are there and that we bring the DCs

Ex was on the phone last night (discussion Easter holiday arrangements which have to change to suit him - whole other thread) and asked me did I get invited. I said yes

He then said "good. We can all go in my car"

I said no I wanted to fly.

He says I'm being irrational.

My reasons are :

His driving stresses me. I hate sitting in the car with him driving

DD GETS CAR SICK I don't want this any more than we have to why put her through it

The plane is just a cheap and quicker and we can get collected at the other end

I think it sends the wrong message for us all to rock up together. We are not together. We are divorced and have been for years. We are not a happy family.

So Aibu?

Tell him you've decided to charter a private plane.

I'd probably laugh in his face and say it's so funny how you think you've got a say in how I travel.

So, tell me, why did you and he break up?

What a complete knob.

Stop allowing him to make you think you are being unreasonable/stupid/frivilous/whatever!!! You did the best thing you could have leaving him - now get a grip and stop letting him doubt yourself :)

I would say again to your DDs that the flights aren't all that expensive and anyway, her DB wants her there, it's a big deal for him and you're all going to show how proud you are of him. Don't mention it again to him expect to send him a message informing him which flights you and the DDs will be on, if he wants to get the same he's welcome too.

If he mentions not taking them again, say "ok, what's this really about? Because it's my money and you know you have no right to tell me how to spend it, so why don't you want the DDs there?" if he says about the price keep repeating "but it's my money, not yours, it's none of your business how I spend it and you know that, so it must be something else, I can't believe you are so stupid to think that you could tell your exwife how to spend her own money, really tell me, why do you want several hours in a car alone with me without the DDs? Oh god, you weren't going to use the time to try to talk me into taking you back were you?? You must know we are really over? Oh, ExH, I really hope you weren't hoping we could have a little trip together and rekindle the old times, that's done with, really it is." then give him patronising "OK, shall we forget all about it then?" with a knowing smile...

Your reasons are valid.
You decide how you get there. There is nothing to argue about.

I thought that too Hecsy!! Chartered flight for sure

I'd chip in to have the OP arrive at the graduation in a helicopter

Ooh, I love dontmind. Pure evil.

Of course, for the ultimate in wind-up value, you could brag to ex abut how you made the mile-high club on your flight over.

oooh, Chipping, perhaps a "DS really should arrive at his graduation in style, here's the stretch hummer I've booked."

Isn't it nice of him to remind you exactly why splitting up was 100% the right decision, just in case time dulls the memory of his behaviour.

I think not wanting to spend hours in the car with a tightfisted controlling ex is one of the most rational things I have ever heard.

What has your spending choices got to do with him?

You lot are gems. Every one of you.

LTB!!

Oh, you have? Can't imagine why.

Have a brilliant time, OP. Pay him no heed.

I spent my money on food. Damn children have to eat. I even let them have lollies and crisps. Clearly I am on a path to ruination.

I bet as well if you were in the car with him he'd make you take a tupperwear box with sandwiches in and a flask of plasticy tasting squash - insisting that motorway stops were purely for "quick wee, stretch your legs, no need to buy anything"...

Has anyone suggested you reply "Thank you for reminding me why you are now my ex"

Don't mind - spot on. He would. And I'd have to make the sandwiches. And he'd expect me to make enough for him to eat some too.

Soup - am so tempted to send him that.

Soup beat me to it. I was going to say all you need to say in response to anything he says to you about this trip is "This is why we are divorced".

Tell him to enjoy his car ride up to the Graduation and not to forget his lunch crackers, he can eat them on the ferry.
He's an Ex for a very obvious reason. What a knob trying to get at the kids about the cost.

Squinkie - that's what has made me fume. How fucking dare he get at the kids and put a downer on them going. Fucking tightarse.

If i were you I'd go by plane. Your plan sounds much better.

Would it be evil to make him sandwiches for his trip and lace them with laxatives?

Not evil at all!

He just texted and as part of the back and forth said "I can't understand why you don't want to save the money and travel together"

I did not reply "because I would commit murder"

I replied (shoot me now please how pretentious am I?)

"Your cost benefit analysis is fatally flawed in that it is predicated on the erroneous assumption that I am prepared to subsidise your travel costs to the tune of 50%. This is not the case. I intend to fly. I am not asking you to subsidise my travel costs. Do not ask me to subsidise yours maths best thing is that we make our own arrangements. I am happy to pay whatever costs associated with taking the DCs since you are obviously tight for money "

The best thing. Don't know where maths came from lol

Fabulous reply! What a cock he is!!

I don't usually talk like that

I didn't even swear! I just realised