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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think parents of dc who go to activities most nights just don't know what else to do with thm

106 replies

SunsetMojito · 26/03/2013 16:32

I know 6 year olds who go to 3 dance classes, one music lesson, Rainbows and swimming lessons every week!

I think dc need some time to just be, or play out with their siblings or friends or hang out with their parents at home.

Dc don't need to do activities every day so I wonder if some of this need for dc to do productive, educational things stems from parents not knowing wtf else to do with them!

Thoughts?

OP posts:
dancemom · 26/03/2013 16:33

My 7 year old dances 4 times a week and goes to swim club also!

This is her choice Smile

Plumsofgold · 26/03/2013 16:33

I think some DC like o do lots of different thins. My dd's are lazy and struggle with the idea of dancing twice a week!

magimedi · 26/03/2013 16:33

None of your business, really. What's right for your DC's may not be right for others.

YouTheCat · 26/03/2013 16:33

Some kids like having lots to do. Some parents may be a bit paranoid about filling every second of their days.

Horses for courses. What works in one family might not work in another.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 26/03/2013 16:35

My thoughts are that you couldnt have set off a bigger bunfight if you had sat back and thought carefully about what to choose! Grin

Fwiw, I think you're wrong. I think its that either the children like to do lots of things or the parents feel like they have to or they're letting them down or something.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 26/03/2013 16:35

My DS doesn't do any activities after school, none at all.

I wish he did but he just wants to come home and chill.

we have tried

football
gymnastics
kung fu
street dance
basketball
beavers

He hated them all. I wouldn't want him doing things every night but I think oncce or twice a week is good for them :)

KellyElly · 26/03/2013 16:37

As long as it isn't their parents pushing them into doing things they're not really interested in then I don't see the problem. Soon they will be teens and want to do nothing but chill with their mates :)

PandaNot · 26/03/2013 16:38

I'd really quite like my children to do less but what started out as one rec gymnastics class and one forty minute dance class for the oldest child has just snowballed! I could think of plenty of things for them to do at helmet, but they don't want to be here all the time, they love being out and about.

Sirzy · 26/03/2013 16:39

It depends on why they are doing it. If they child wants to and the parents have the time/money to support this then great. If parents have decided they need to do all these things then its not fair on the child

DeafLeopard · 26/03/2013 16:39

DDs schedule is pretty full for a 9yo - but that is her choice. She spends several hours a week at one particular activity, but she is competing at a high level so needs to put in the practise.

DS on the other hand did nothing at her age - I did try to find him hobbies and interests but he preferred to spend his time plugged into a screen - is that better do you think? Hmm

idiuntno57 · 26/03/2013 16:40

mine go through phases. Sometimes busy, sometimes not. Depends on what's on, what they like, how much etc. etc.

YABU and a bit judgmental

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 26/03/2013 16:41

yes you're right, I am an unimaginative twat, do you feel better now.

BoysAreLikeDogs · 26/03/2013 16:43

4

greenfolder · 26/03/2013 16:44

dd1 was like this- loved it all.

dd2 did sod all and loved it.

be guided by your kids, they are all different in my humble opinion

Ilovesunflowers · 26/03/2013 16:46

I used to swim 5 x per week. Piano one eve a week. Brownies 1 evening. I was as happy as Larry. Stop judging. Absolutely none of your business.

Grockle · 26/03/2013 16:48

DS(7) goes to karate twice a week as well as swimming, stagecoach and piano lessons.

It's entirely his choice - he knows he can give up any of those things whenever he wants & he knows he is not allowed to take anything else on. He tried Beavers and football but didn't enjoy those.

He's an only child so its a good way for him to mix with other children, aside from those at school.

I'd much rather not ferry him about all over the place but he enjoys the activities and I can afford it so why not?

sittinginthesun · 26/03/2013 16:48

What us the point of this, OP? Are you trying to make yourself feel better about not doing activities every night?

Startail · 26/03/2013 16:48

Now she's in Y7, DD2 chooses to fill every lunch time with sports clubs on top of her evening and weekend things, she doesn't do sitting still.

She would do chilling out with her friends, but living where we do that's a logistical nightmare.

teacherwith2kids · 26/03/2013 16:48

Pandanot, I entirely recognise your scenario - where 1x 45 minute dance class at 5 becomes 7.5 hours a week at 9, or where an in-school 20 minute clarinet lesson becomes a 30 minute lesson outside school each week, plus orchestra, jazz band and regular practice.... (or where an hour of football on a Saturday mushrooms into 3 training sessions and a whole day of matches each week).

It's always their choice, though. But if they want to follow their interests, and have talent in a particular area, then it does become time consuming.

mrsjay · 26/03/2013 16:51

I agree with you in a way I dont think kids need activities every night of the week and twice on a saturday but you were really rude about it as if parents were just fobbing kids off to dancing or whatever, I dont think thats the case they want their children to be doing 'something'

I always let my dds got to 2 things dd1 dropped down to 1 as she got older I wanted to broaden their horizons so to speak as I didnt do anything as a kid and never went anywhere I didnt want that for my children I wanted themt o experience things,

mrsjay · 26/03/2013 16:53

DD2 is always busy she has guides she is also training to be a young leader she goes to a drama group at the weekend , she does loads of things at school she says she gets bored not doing anything

mrsjay · 26/03/2013 16:53

be guided by your kids, they are all different in my humble opinion

that really

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS · 26/03/2013 17:13

I think you need to strike a balance. Too many activities might lead a child to find school rather dull and boring by comparison.

Original poster
SunsetMojito · 26/03/2013 17:17

I LOVE the way every AIBU thread has someone saying none of your business, one saying what's your point? (Surely there's no actual point to 90% of the threads on Mumsnet!) one saying I'm trying to make myself feel better (I've not actually said what my dc do) and one saying I'm a twat do you feel better now. At least no-one has said 'Pass the Popcorn!' (grateful for small mercies emoticon)

If its guided by the dc then it seems acceptable but maybe as parents we should be scheduling in 'do nowt' time?

OP posts:
fuzzypicklehead · 26/03/2013 17:31

Some people are just the busy type. My DH is like that, especially in the summer. (Perky bastard bursts out of bed at the arse crack of dawn on a summer weekend, singing "Morning has broken" and pestering everyone to gird their loins and go seize the bloody day!)

But I do like to have some "down time" where kids have to go and entertain themselves as well. I fear a day when their clubs aren't on and they mooch about the place whinging "I'm booooooored! What can we dooooooooo?"