Are SAHMS discriminated against. Red magazine are doing an article about it.

[Darkesteyes]

Just seen this on twitter.

Are stay at home mums discriminated against? Are you one and unhappy with benefits, or feel judged? Tell us.
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I don't think we should be aspiring to anything other than complete equality. which we have a long way to go on, but have made some progress.

Maisiejoe, how would I know what? Just to add again I personally have no interest in being recruited, so where exactly do you think I will be delivering these inadequate responses? Equally, this thread is not about unsolicited advice from WOHM- read the title.

Littlechickpea, the meaning of that sentence is a bit lost on me I'm afraid.

Complete equality is going to be even harder to achieve when you are having to overcome both male and female prejudice within the workplace. Where once that prejudice existed majoratively amongst men.

golden - so women who have been SAHP, and are now working, are discriminating against other women returning to work? Seems unlikely.?

No women who have never been SAHP or only for a minimal period. Unlikely? Have you been reading the same thread as me?

no luv, the thread you have been reading has been much angrier than the one I have been perusing.

Ladies -please. We are all in this together. Why would I discrimate against a potential working parent. I am one myself.

What I think a number of us who are in work (and not pontificating from armchairs at home about what they think is going on the workplace...) are saying is that in order to get back to the workplace you need to think creatively and from a employers point of view.

Its all very well stating that you think SAHP's skills are equally as valid in the current workplace - tbh - you would say that! They arent necessarily - but you still want to get back to work so do what myself and others have done.

I have found when I have wanted something that I need to prove myself. As others have said, when they proved their worth and then asked for part-time working etc they were granted it.

You cannot expect an employer to decide the minute you walk in the room whether you are going to be good for his team or a nightmare. If they choose unwisely they are likely to reap the consequences of their decision. I pick carefully, I want references and to speak to people who have worked with you before. Something that a SAHP is at a disadvantage with. There are no real references proving that this person can work in a role they perhaps havent done for 5 plus years. Please think about how you can provide evidence in other ways.

I think you have a massive chip on your shoulder Goldenbear, because you want to believe that as a long term SAHM you have somehow acquired particular skills which no one else has acquired- and certainly not WOHM who have usually taken up to a year ML with each child and then gone back to work either full or part time, with all the organisational and multi tasking skills that entails. Yet when youre asked to Share these unique skills we just get silence. It's just a pile of nonsense.

No one has a problem with you being a SAHM, as that's clearly what
floats your boat. But you obviously have a massive problem with WOHM! And like I said earlier, you are clearly doing what you want, and have offers of highly paid flexible work from amazing creative individuals, you will have no problem waltzing back into the world of work should
You want to... So one has to ask why you're so angry about it all......

Yes. I am despised as a sahm. Dunno about discrimination but marginalised despised and tutt tutted about continually.

Women who work hate me. Either I'm lucky, made my own bed or plainly wasn't career minded.

Sahms also seem against each other.

Dads are never included in the family discussions.

Work hates me because I plainly am not interested as I had kids. They do try not to employ if poss. When I worked I was redundant because I asked to work flexibly. If I'm sahm others want me to volunteer/improve/keep up to date but then show disgust if a sahm uses childcare (see all recent threads on that one! Quite shocking at attitudes)

Dh is by turns jealous of time with kids or saying "well I work!" (Oversimplification but am sure u get gist)

The only people who like me as a sahm is my kids. And they throw food at me.

Ps this is light hearted but can feel serious some days! :)

Maisie, stop giving advice! I'm NOT looking for work, I work as a SAHP, I don't even know your background, your education etc. what makes you think you're qualified to give me advice.

Faster please save your 'luvs' for the interviews, along with your other patronising comments.

I've been browsing through the recent posts on this thread with interest, and I think there are some interesting points on both sides if the argument. But this comment by Maisiejoe I had to comment on as I think it completely sums up the undervaluing by many people if the role of the SAHP

"If I had a career break Mum for a middle income role -( lets say £30k) in front of me who said that she just never had time to do any volunteering or help out in the community I would be very worried that she had the trickest children in the world or that she was just disorganised."

Maisiejoe, what exactly do you think a busy SAHP of , say, three small children should do with the children while he/she carries out this voluntary work? Put them in childcare at their own expense?

Budgie - I'll be honest. With child care costs as they are and with three small children under school age - I strongly suspect they wouldnt be applying for a role at £30k. Its not enough. However if the children were at school and she couldnt demostrate some sort of role outside the home - yes - I would question it.

And what is so wrong about putting them into childcare at her own cost to enhance her CV? You are still looking at it from your own SAHP point of view, not the view of the potential employer.

I paid childcare costs myself. It has only been in recent years that there has been some small assistance.

Many many have come onto this thread stating they are struggling to find a role and even get an interview.

Well, others are trying to help by pointing out ways you might make yourself more attractive to lets be honest - someone who doesnt know you from Adam and has a shed load of CV's from other people.

You can go into an interview saying that you havent had a moment to yourself and does the interviewer know what it is like to bring up three small children, you can say 'why should I pay childcare costs to retrain, volunteer etc' all things that will make you look more attractive to an employer.

But dont be surprised if you dont get anywhere.

Janey68, do you think the way it was in the days of 3 months off for maternity leave was actually worse for women in term of how work viewed them though? The length of current maternity leave seems to really mitigate against women in many interviews. I understand why. I am on maternity leave at present and to be honest, I feel now as I did at this stage on my last maternity, that I have lost a bit of confidence in terms of work (ds2 is 9 months and I am due back shortly). I wouldn't want to go back earlier but I do know that my prospects have work have changed drastically since I first had children, so although I am personally very grateful that there have been changes that allow me to put my child first for this year and retain my job, I don't think it is exactly perfection, nor do I think it always encourages equality.

Golden - but you are telling people who are recruiting and working themselves what they should be doing. You seem to have a massive chip on your shoulder about something.

There are people on this thread who want to get back to work, some of us are trying to help them! You claim you dont want to work. Lucky you - but others do. I am sorry you dont like the answers but they are reality.

I tend to agree with a lot of the points made goldenbear. Everyone should express their opinions however following a lot of your posts I find it impossible to take you seriously. Alot of SAHM have stated their opinions and clarified their positions very well. You have avoided any questions asked for clarity purposes which would help us understand your position. Unfortunately it leaves me wondering whether there is any depth to your argument or whether you like arguing for the sake of it, just because you can.... Regurgitating what others have said or you have read.

I believe the employers/recruiters have made their positions clear. Please correct me if I am wrong but none of them care if the candidate is a SAHM/SAHD/WOHP etc. they are all looking for the strongest canadates. That's not discrimination and for anyone to accuse other parents of that..... Well what more can I say other than "silence is golden"

Some of you seem determined to take domestic/childcare tasks eg shopping,childcare and big it up
Routine tasks that are undertaken by most adults.largely repetitive and habitual
Being a housewife means you're assumed to be competent with own kids. It's not necessarily transferable to work,and certainly can't be exaggerated as better than work

I have my hand up - I dont care where you come from. I need the best candidate for the role. I do need to be comfortable that having been out of the workplace for x years that you recognise that you will need full time childcare (unlike the lady who asked to do the role at home to SAVE on childcare costs at the interview!).

I think - pick carefully and you will get a fab working parent who has thought through what they are doing. Some of the responses on here about what they consider their skills to be and what they would say at interview will not impress an interviewer.

Pick unwisely and you will get someone who thinks working is something they do when they have a spare break from the children!

Maisiejoe, I might just agree with you that if all three children were at school, you may have a point, but how about the parent who wants to come back to work when the first child goes to school? How about the family who is struggling on one low wage and just can't afford childcare while they retrain? What then? I do see your point that you would choose the best person for the job regardless of whether they have taken a career break, I don't think anyone wants positive discrimination. But I do think that they should not be automatically rejected simply because they did not have time, or could not afford, to do voluntary work, when you believe they should have.

I do my own cleaning for all sorts of reasons.... I am a great toilet cleaner. With two boys I have learnt to unblock a toilet with my gadgets!

I can change a bed in seconds and clean a room without making a big fuss of it. However, I wouldnt dream of including these skills as part of the interview process.

If anyone wants to know how to unblock a toilet PM me and I'll tell you. A plumber told me....

There are thousands looking for work and it's an employer's market. IMO they will usually pick people who have direct. relevant and recent experience of the job, with uptodate references and who need little or no training. That is why anybody who has been unemployed outside the home for any period of time will find it difficult getting an interview, let alone work. It applies to school leavers, university graduates, people made redundant and sahm's looking for work. Sahms are not a special case.

The thing is Budgie - how many children you have, in what time span etc, what your DP does, whether he is supportive , what he earns etc has absolutely nothing to do with me as your potential employer. You will be a complete stranger to me.

It is really difficult to get a role signed off within my company and to be allowed to recruit. And this is a big multi national. I cannot get it wrong.

I didnt just land the role I have. I have been clinging on for dear life. I have been with this company for nearly 30 yrs. Different roles and didnt go to uni (my one big regret!). Went to a bog standard sec modern because I didnt pass the 11+. Which is why I think for our children, private education is the right way for us to go.

Yes, I work at home some of the time hence the ability to respond to these threads but it hasnt just happened or that I have been lucky.

It's like when housewives say they're like I'm doctor,nurse,social worker,vet,teacher
No.reading to your own kids,some calpol when ill,dog to vet isn't same set of tasks
And teaching with it's external standards,regulation,targets,is incomparable to being housewife

Scottishmummy

Sorry to be pedantic but you do know that a housewife isn't necessarily a mother, and the term hasn't been used for many years now. As a sahm I doubt if my role of domestic responsibility is as large as yours.
However, I do agree that skills some people may have developed during their time as a sahm are not necessarily transferable to the workplace. But many are to certain industries and occupations. That's not to say that a wohm wouldn't have these skills neither.