Are SAHMS discriminated against. Red magazine are doing an article about it.

[Darkesteyes]

Just seen this on twitter.

Are stay at home mums discriminated against? Are you one and unhappy with benefits, or feel judged? Tell us.
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Janey68 I smiled too..

my only question, why is this always aimed at mothers?
not fathers

women are judged whatever they do, yet men are not
so annoying

Sorry littlechickpea, I missed where I asked for a job, a contract or even approval from you?

I have done work for this individual before that is why I'm being asked if want to do some work for him again. I don't I'm a SAHP.

Curstey, I never said I was the 'best' freelancer as for a start it is only one job I have been offered. As you point out the 'best' can do as many hours as they want. In my case it wouldn't be like that and would demand too much of my time. I know a lot of people who freelance and it has equally been too time consuming in that they only took the work on because their main work as they see it is SAHP.

The challenge in getting back to work after a gap in employment is equally difficult for men and women. Their reasons may differ but men struggle just as much if they leave their careers for x number years....

I think we hear more about the challenges women face on here because it's predominately a female forum.

i don't have current experience as am pg with dc1 however my dp and i have looked into the prospect of me becoming a sahm for the first couple of years as we both believe if it is financially affordable it is the best for our child - this is not to say that going back to work is wrong but it just isn't what we want. I have looked into going back to work if only on a p/t basis however with the horrific cost of decent childcare i would end up working for about £5 a day by the time the tax man has had his share so it really doesn't make sense for me to go back. I will however be looking into online courses to keep my knowledge up and i work with Girlguiding UK as a leader so i am hoping to carry that on providing i can find a regular babysitter that won't cost the earth.

because of dp's earning we will not get any financial help whatsoever and to be honest i wouldn't expect it. the decision to be a sahm is ours and as such we should fund it. i would not expect hard working people to fund my lifestyle choice any more than i agree with funding some of the lazy layabouts that live on the estate nr me who spend their giro on drugs and booze.

where a family income is not sufficient to provide a living wage and mum can't get work to help out then yes benefits should be available to support them until work can be found but it is not their to support a lifestyle choice any more than it is there to buy people 4 bed detached houses or brand new cars every 3 years.

Iris,Have you read op and thread,a sahm=female.that's why we discussing women
women predominately give up work to be housewives,leaving employment

You would have to pay me for the answers you want and as I said before I'm currently not working in that capacity. I thought this was aimed at me!!

It was only 30 years ago or so that husbands filled in both their own and their wife's tax return. My father had to know what my DM earned but she never did find out what he earned......

So, women are still on the back foot in certain areas. We need to become creative in how we resolve this but bleating on about it not being fair that we cannot just come back into the workforce is not going to do it.

Someone sensibly said earlier. If you dont have to mention the children then dont. And certainly dont put age or the number of children you have on any CV. You dont need to.

someone sensibly said earlier. If you dont have to mention the children then dont. And certainly dont put age or the number of children you have on any CV. You dont need to.

Agree....

Maisiejoe

I can see why your advice not to mention children and their ages on c.v etc is good advice.
However, it is surely better to advise them to act with caution. maybe a city job as an executive would necessitate this. However, teacher, TA, social work, etc would probably be a good idea to include them.

Taking time out to look after your children full time, in person, should be a valid reason for not being in paid employment and it would be if the role was valued in society. I think attitudes are regressing with regards to this as it is no longer enough to say that. When my Mother returned to work as a teacher I was 2 and my brother was 5, she wasn't questioned on what she had been doing for the last 5 years- it was obvious, she walked back into a teaching job. Being a SAHP had not hindered her job prospects like it would today and being a SAHP was not considered a 'gap' on the CV.

I don't really see what that proves goldenbear.
Presumably when your mother applied and interviewed for teaching jobs, she was the best candidate.
If a SAHM applied for a teaching job today, with a brilliant cv, the best interview and was the best at the practical aspect of the process then she'd get the job. The only difference is that the job market has changed and it's a lot tougher for everyone. My SIL is a teacher and says they regularly get hundreds of applicants even for temporary positions.

The person who is best for the job will get it. You keep ignoring what those of us who are actually recruiting are saying.

goldenbear...And actually with family members in teaching and similar fields, I do know a little about it, and it is actually important to ask about gaps in any applicants cv due to safeguarding. So an employer failing to ask about gaps would be failing in their professional responsibility. Maybe you should familiarise yourself with procedures a little more thoroughly before criticising what others do.

Whether you have children is an irrelevance to performing well in a job. Are men seriously advised to hide the fact that they have children if they are pursuing a job in the City- of course they are not. My brother is a Senior Partner in a City law firm, he has never had to hide the fact that he has had children. Indeed, he took one of them into work with him when they had a 'bring your child to work day'. That kind if advice just reinforces the idea that it is ok to discriminate against women in the workplace. It is truly a backward step.

'Whether you have children is an irrelevance to performing well in a job.'

Exactly. Which is why I don't give a shiny shit whether a woman or a man I am interviewing has children or not. What I want to know is: are they the best person for the job.

Janey, I'm not talking about the 'safeguarding' aspect- as well you know.

I'm sure my Mother was the best person for the job but at least she got a chance to prove that at the interview stage. Given some of the replies on here about SAHP, her application would have barely been looked at in this day and age because of her 5 year SAH period. This is where the bias exists and seemingly a backward step IMO.

I'm a SAHM (have been for 5 years now) and have two children.

I don't feel undervalued by society. In fact, my close family (in-laws, parents, and of course, my DH) all believe that I am giving our children the best start in life (as do I obviously) and I get lots of respect, praise and thanks from my husband in particular.

I am not upset about changes in benefits, luckily we don't rely on child benefit and have banked up £££s via the maximum contributions in the childcare voucher scheme so will pay for nursery and summer camps for the forseeable future.

I did apply for one job when my eldest started school and was interviewed twice and then made it to the final two. I decided at that time that a full-time job wasn't right for me but it has given me lots of confidence that a career break isn't the end to my career and there will be opportunities out there if and when I decide to return to work. FWIW, it was the same level and £'s as the position I left 5 years ago.

Goldenbear Jeez little, 'it is a very basic interview skill that you "sell" yourself' - you don't say??? Is using correct grammar a basic requirement to?

I believe the phrase "selling yourself in interviews", while not grammatically entirely pleasing, is a well known phrase in modern parlance, particularly in the workplace.

As for freelancing, people love to offer you a few hours here and there, but I found it too unreliable to be a realistic substitute for full time work. However it does have its uses in that it can be a way back into work following a gap, and I didn't turn it down. This is how I got my present job.

I'd also be careful Goldenbear that you do not stray into the area of soliciting for the charging of legal advice, unless you are a qualified solicitor with a current practising certificate. There is a notorious "grey area" between HR and employment law, and one that the Law Society cracked down on recently.

Planes, I'm similarly respected at a personal level but we are talking about a broader level, particularly in the workplace.

TBH goldenbear I am struggling to see what your problem is.

You seem very angry about this alleged bias you see all over the place, yet by your own admission, you aren't applying for work as you don't want it. When asked to provide evidence from people's posts of this prejudice, you just vaguely reply, 'People are prejudiced, it's that simple'. When asked for specifics about how the recruitment process should be improved for particular specialist fields (of which you claim prior experience and knowledge) you just tell us that your knowledge is so important and top secret that we'd have to pay you for answers!!

You are a SAHM which is what you want to be, and you've already had offers of highly paid flexible freelance work (which you've turned down) so I'm sure that the moment you're ready you'll waltz back into work no problem.. I really can't see why you're not more content with your life.

Whether you have children is an irrelevance to performing well in a job.

I don't think anyone is advising anyone to hide the fact they have children.. All we are saying is it's not relevant when you are interviewing for a job. We want to know about experience, skills that are relevant to the job... Why the person sat in front of us is the right person for the job. It's the candidates responsibility to demonstrate why they are the best person. I don't care whether they have kids or not (men and women) as long as they can do the job and be there when required....

Working in HR I am sure you know this already but interviewers should avoid asking questions about whether you have children or are planning a family, so people don't need to disclose it. But we can enquire about responsibilities that could interfere with a candidates attendance at work.

LittleChickpea

I beg to differ. My friend is building up a lovely career as a Police Woman, on the basis of using experience of negotiating arguments, being firm, not taking sides.
She used these as examples to gain entry into community Policing. She worked for a while in this position then trained and became a qualified PO. She could not meet the criteria in other ways as hadn't gained these skills through work.

I've never been asked whether I had children at any interviews and its not on my CV.

I dont ask anyone I am interviewing whether they have any. I do like to ask the same questions at interviews and why Golden seems to indicate that you must ask different questions of SAMP's is confusing.

Why? I want the best candidate for the role not discuss yuour children's bed time routines.

Yes but if you HAVE been a SAHP for 5 years how can you avoid mentioning the children. My point is that if it was a role that was valued by society and that has been your 'work' for 5 years you would be able to draw upon that experience for some examples in an interview. My previous boss, who was a man, wanted me to return to the workplace after a career break and got me an interview for a job share, he advised me to use some examples from my work as SAHP. I did and I got the job.

The man who has offered me the freelance work is well aware of my current status as he invited me to talk about the work at one of his business premises as he thought my children would like the setting. He is not 'corporate' though he is a very rich hippie. He is therefore quite open minded and not bothered about SAH status.