To ask for TMI Log related help. Not for faint hearted

[MyFloatingShame]

I have nced for this I am a regular though and not a poo troll

I have gone to the loo and blocked it with the most enormous log

It didn't flush so I left the cistern to re-fill (keep a sharp ear out for DH in case I needed to intercept him) gone back, flushed again and it is still lurking, bobbing about half in and half out of the water like a malevolent, fecal Nessie.

I broke the fecker in two with the plunger and put some loo roll on it but it still won't go. (It put up a fight too, at one point I thought it might climb out and attack me)

I have never pooed in front of DH in the 15+ years we have been together and I can't ask him for help.

What can I do?? What will make it go away? I am so embarrassed. Help.

Our cistern is really slow to re-fill and it's a tiny tank and a narrow loo IYSWIM. What can I do?

We don't have a loo brush (dirty and not MN approved) so my only weapon is the plunger

Sorry

I mean the op, I'm not randomly asking everyone

How is your arse op???

No

Just the one DS :)

Not on your facebook :)

I have the erm opposite problem and feeling literally like shite but your thread has made me smile! Thanks for that floating needed a good belly laugh!

It is surprisingly ok Creameggkr (Is that you Ledkr?)

Plus I think I have dropped half a stone so I am cheered overall

Errr this happened to me!

My stepdad told me bucket of hot water (I phoned my mum!) and this just bludy disintegrated the thing all over my toilet!!! It was f-ing disgusting!

A lot of flushing and a lot of plunging later and my toilet was like new

Yes tis led.

I know who it is now. I'm shocked that such a small woman can produce such a big movement!!

Small?

You may be barking up the wrong log

I am 5ft 6 :)

Maybe not then.
Less fibre my friend.

This has made my evening, haven't laughed so much in ages ... had this conversation with DP when I wondered why the hell a bent out of shape wire coat-hanger was outside the back door.

He is grim though, why he couldn't have put it in the damn bin bag outside I don't know.

Boiling water and a load of bleach. That'll break the little shit up (mwah ha ha!) My brother only used to poo twice a week (and maybe still does). This is my Mum's tried and tested method

Bloody hell OP, you must have a ringpiece like the Channel Tunnel by now. Perhaps it's time to eat fewer eggs?

Look on the bright side. At least it was just enormous lengthwise. Think of the issues with your sphincter if it had been girth preventing flushing!

Can't believe my first post is about poo

Welcome to MN Dark

SGB, I will re-think my diet

I surprised your anus hasnt been ripped to shreds, i know it happens.......refuse to say how.

This makes me think of the first episode of Green Wing - "and to top it all off I've just done the biggest monster that won't go down!" :o

I am dying to know who you are OP
Someone who nows PM me

How very intriguing.

Glad you have slain the bog-beast, OP.

I wish I could do a poo like that

Did you have to use hypnobirthing to get the bugger out? I'm afeared for your poor anus.

Hang on... it's bigger than the cat's? Or bigger than the cats?

Op I'm dying to know how you got the knife, and the gloves and the bucket and got back upstairs to the bathroom without your dh wondering where you'd gone and what you were up to!!

I once had someone describe to me that having a big shit was like "Giving birth to an otter", he was weird.