To ask for TMI Log related help. Not for faint hearted

[MyFloatingShame]

I have nced for this I am a regular though and not a poo troll

I have gone to the loo and blocked it with the most enormous log

It didn't flush so I left the cistern to re-fill (keep a sharp ear out for DH in case I needed to intercept him) gone back, flushed again and it is still lurking, bobbing about half in and half out of the water like a malevolent, fecal Nessie.

I broke the fecker in two with the plunger and put some loo roll on it but it still won't go. (It put up a fight too, at one point I thought it might climb out and attack me)

I have never pooed in front of DH in the 15+ years we have been together and I can't ask him for help.

What can I do?? What will make it go away? I am so embarrassed. Help.

Our cistern is really slow to re-fill and it's a tiny tank and a narrow loo IYSWIM. What can I do?

We don't have a loo brush (dirty and not MN approved) so my only weapon is the plunger

Sorry

poached turd ?

At least I was spared that!

MNHQ

Please do not point and laugh .... I will buy your silence with gin.

Almost woke the baby up I laughed so loud... More of a snort if I'm honest...

I want to know how Isla guessed who it was. Whose posts caused her to think, 'now there goes a woman with particularly large turds'?

You are free to speculate but I will never confirm

MaryZ its you isnt it

"now there goes a women with particularily large turds" - am howling here

Did you think about how you might have explained the knife, bucket & gloves to your DH if he had seen you going into the bathroom?

Floating, you need to pm me

I have to know, I'll be discreet honest :o

Omg, this is funniest thread ever!!!! I cant stop laughing. Ok....i got tears now.

Lets hope that there are no incidents in the area which give cause to police searching neighbouring bins and then they look in yours - the knife, bucket, gloves .........

:o

God, this forum is full of enormous pooers!

I'd be worrying about the knife in the bin, could be dangerous. Do you have a knife disposal bin if you need to get rid of it?

Poo-denial shakes head

MaryZ Are you ... the queen ..bows

It doesn't need to be a sharp knife though- an old blunt one will do. Unless its like a rock. Whats the texture like? Give it an exploratory prod and report back pls

orangeandlemons
I thought on the last floating monster thread, the advice was not to use boiling water, as it resulted in poached turd.

that bit just had me snorting again. Poached turd!!!

This thread has given me the best laugh I've had all year

So thank you phantom poo person

Loving the re-hash of "Everybody Hurts"

Inspired

Not just a poached turd, but pouring boiling water down the bog can crack the toilet bowl which could then start seeping poo juice everywhere.

It was not a sharp knife

I have PMed you Ilsa

I have nearly posted the same thread many times

Washing powder, hot water, leave for a while

It has never crossed my mind to scoop it out.

Crying here. . .

Do you have more than three children and you're on my fb?