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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse to get up at 5am to help dh find a tie?

58 replies

Mrneedy · 21/03/2013 01:05

he has a function/benefit

I've found his suit
Sourced a new shirt
Waited in all morning for it

Rinsed it, ironed it
He works hard, long hours, I dont mind helping

Then just as he was going to bed, he said
I might need your help in the morning to sort my tie

Really??
I said no, he should sort it now
He's now asleep

I am not getting up at 5am
He's known for weeks that he had to get this sorted

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 21/03/2013 01:12

Is it really 'sort my tie' or really that he is incredibly nervous and wants to talk to you but can't say that?

Original poster
Mrneedy · 21/03/2013 01:18

Oh god no, he's not nervous
Loves this sort of thing

It's like because I help him with this sort of thing he can't do it by himself
But expecting someone to get up at 5 am, when you are a grown man and should be able to find it by yourself???

OP posts:
TrucksAndDinosaurs · 21/03/2013 01:35

He should jog on.
Tell him to take all his vaguely suitable ties in a bag, it's not as of they weigh much, and then he can angst about it and try them all on and text pics to his best mates or just ask a random bloke in the gents or something.

On no account should you stir your stumps.

Startail · 21/03/2013 01:38

YANBU

DH does mornings, however the number of clothing requests I get woken up for is ridiculous. I get especially annoyed when they are for him not the DDs.

No I don't know where your shoes are, your shirts are where they always are, if you have no clean pants thats because you didn't put them to wash and they are in a heap your side of the bed. NO! those are not smart work trousers. No I don't care if it's dress down Friday, they have wood stain streaks on them!

And breathe

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 21/03/2013 01:48

YANBU.

Longdistance · 21/03/2013 02:19

Yanbu.

Does he think you're his mother? Confused

My dh wouldn't dream of asking me to do all that for him. Christ, he'll be asking you to wipe his bum next.

GeordieCherry · 21/03/2013 03:57

My DP asked for a lift to the station the other week. For the 5:30 train. That I'd got a taxi to a few days before. Twit

MrsTerryPratchett · 21/03/2013 03:59

Bollocks to him then. Can anyone explain how much 'sorting' a tie needs? Because it doesn't seem like it would need two people.

alwayslateforwork · 21/03/2013 04:07

Dh does his own. All of it. I guarantee he works as hard, he just accepts that he does his own ironing and shirt buying, if he needs it.

I guess that's what twenty odd years in the military and then a transition straight to commuter hours does for you.

He does all the ironing, actually. Three kids of flat clothes age. On a Sunday night. For about three hours.

I would think he had totally lost his mind if he asked me to get up at 5 for the sake of a tie. I can probably count on one hand the occasions I've ever ironed him a shirt, too.

Harrumph and roll over, really.

MrsSpagBol · 21/03/2013 04:17

My husband would ask me this. And for a lift to the station!

He needs a hug a kiss and a friendly face (and a quick prayer) if he has something on like this - even though he loves it.

I think put the tie out before bed. Then just get woken for snuggles/reassurance which can be done from your warm bed with one eye open.

BadLad · 21/03/2013 05:02

In the case you have described, you aren't being unreasonable. You are correct, he should sort it now.

Sort his tie out, and you solve the problem for a day. Get him into the habit of doing it himself, and you solve it permanently.

Fairylea · 21/03/2013 05:33

Is he 4 ??

Why on earth would he expect you to help him with his tie? It's madness.

If my dh ever woke me up at 5 to help him wIth a tie, I'd b strangling him with it.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 21/03/2013 06:01

How much sorting out can a tie need?

Get up, get dressed, pick out tie, put it on.

Why is that a 2 person job?
Would you wake up your DH at 5am to help you find a pair of knickers?

pansyflimflam · 21/03/2013 06:15

YABU I get up with my DH every morning as e commutes into London. I love that time we have together. Perhaps he would just like your company?

BlueyDragon · 21/03/2013 06:21

PMSL at Tantrums' idea of asking DH to help choose pants.

I'm in the "He is old enough to deal with it himself" camp, plus maybe making encouraging noises from under the duvet.

What happened in RL, OP?

ZZZenAgain · 21/03/2013 06:22

what is involved in sorting a tie? Does he need help tying it or choosing the right one or what? I think it is inconsiderate of him to consider waking you at 5 a.m. Can't believe people actually do this.

Mumof3men · 21/03/2013 07:59

Did you get up?
thinks he actually wanted to talk to you before he went

diddl · 21/03/2013 08:36

"Sort a tie"??

Is that a euphemism??Grin

digerd · 21/03/2013 08:49

After we married, my DH said the same. In fact his mum had his clothes all laid out for him before he went to bed when he was up for work at 4.30am.
I just said, you are a grown man not a small child. You do it yourself. Must admit he did look hurt, but accepted it without a word.

BerthaKitt · 21/03/2013 09:56

Am Shock at some of the posts on here.

Original poster
Mrneedy · 21/03/2013 10:02

Ok, sort a tie actually means find the black tie.
Tbf, I do know where everything in the house is, he doesn't really, but there's only a couple of drawers it could be in

So, before I went to bed I found it (first drawer I looked) and left it out for him

I dont mind looking for it, I am more likely to know where it is, but it was the idea that it was ok to wake me up at 5 am that really annoyed me
he should have been more organised

OP posts:
Original poster
Mrneedy · 21/03/2013 10:02

Why shocked Bertha?

OP posts:
FryOneFatManic · 21/03/2013 10:04

On the rare occasions DP has had to get up at stupid hours, he creeps around quietly and doesn't wake me. He is capable of sorting himself out.

FryOneFatManic · 21/03/2013 10:05

Why doesn't he know where his own clothes are? I wash, sort and occasionally iron the clothes for all of us. Each person then get a pile of clean clothes on their bed and is expected to put their own clothes away. Including the two DCs.

MadAboutHotChoc · 21/03/2013 10:07

I am shocked too Shock

FFS, these men are grown up, why are you choosing to infantilise and mother them? Ugh!!