Have I just been the meanest Mum in the world? My son thinks so...

[OHforDUCKScake]

This is very trivial. But sometimes I dont know if Im just being too harsh.

My 6 year old does somethinb very frustrating. If we were to treat him to something, he'll smile for a second then ask for the bigger one and humph when we say no. If its a toy, sweets or a lolly for example. Instead of just saying thank you, he'll ask why he cant have the bigger one/red one/one with the extra bit on it.

Its effing annoying. He's not spoilt either, he gets sweets once a week maximum, and we certainly arent buying him toys every 5 minutes we're broke!

This afternoon we go to Tesco. He goes to the toy aisle while I shop. I get to him when Im done and call for him, he holds out a £12.95 Hero Factory toy and I give him the answer I always give him. No. Put it back.

My toddler starts kicking off, Im heading to the till. DS1 asks if he can have 'a little lego man.' I say yes, he found a pound on the floor yesterday he can spend it on that.

He runs off, I start to pay with a shouting toddler and DS comes back with the flipping Hero Factory! Taking advantage of my 'yes' he does what he always does and pushes his luck. I said no, take it back we're leaving now.

He's ended up with no toy. He broke his heart on the way home saying Im hugely unfair. I said its a lesson learnt, Id said yes to a toy and he decided to push his luck and now he has nothing.

Was I being too harsh?

Somebody upthread said they'd never seen children alone in supermarkets!

She wants to come to our local Tesco and Morrisons where there are ALWAYS children on their own, usually running up and down the aisles playing hide and seek and generally being a nuisance. or hiding in amongst the clothing rails trampling over the things that inevitably drop off the hangers!

Having said that, I usually allowed my children when they were younger to go to the toy aisle on their own. But they didn't stay for long, and would come back and find me. Maybe not as young as six...eight maybe.

If my DC behaved like that jam then I would expect staff and customers to get all arsey with me.

I agree with Hippi I know my child and I know what she is capable of. Unless a child of that age is misbehaving or is upset or asks for help then you can presume that there isn't a problem.

YANBU.

If I was being perfect mother and I was in that situation then I'd use it as a teaching opportunity - OK, DS, you have £1 and I've said you can spend that. But this toy costs more than £1 so it's up to you, do you want to buy the lego man with the £1, or put it in your money box at home and save up to buy the big toy?

However in reality I'd probably be stressed and annoyed by his cheek and also have said no you can't have anything now, take what you're given or have nothing.

For the next few weeks don't allow him anything as hew obviously thinks he is entitled. In a month's time prewarn him he can only have one small thing worth up to x amount. Help him check out costs and buy something within budget. You will need to give it your attention though.

I would refuse a toy in the same situation.

Mine are allowed to hold a toy but put it back on the shelves at the end. It has saved us buying endless crap.

Ok to answer some questions;

Its a smallish store in a little quiet, low crime town with 11 aisles.

And I bought the following - baby new potatoes, snackajacks, handwash and super sized sanitary towels.

Does this make anyone feel better?

I do not expect anyone to watch my son. He will not wonder off and stab himself with a knife, nor get run over by a trolley. He doesnt stamp on the toys, steal them or demand 586219 of them. Today was just being cheeky and taking advantage of my incredibly rare 'yes'.

And I will continue to let my son go to the toy aisle (not make him like someone suggested because I cant be bothered to look after him (seriously?!) but because he asks, and hes a trustworthy child).

And arf at me being a lentil weaver!

Never!

its true

I would let a 7 year old go look at the toy aisle. I can't believe that is even an issue for some people to be honest.

I can't believe you bought snackajacks - you clearly have no idea what children need for snacks. Have you not heard of fruit? And sanitary towels? Not a mooncup. Shame on you OP.

I think people are all imagining different tescos. I did balk at what you said initially as i was imagining a huge hypermarket Tesco I go to in a not particularly safe area, but then I thought that in a small shop in a safe area i would let my children (6 and 8) go to a different aisle without me. Looks like your one is a small one in a safe area!

I wouldn't worry about knives and trollies in any Tesco though!

Best not teach him which wine to go and get for you OP. (But if you did it would have to be a box cos those bottles are far too dangerous for him to carry )

The towel is at the same time as the moon cup. Things have gone wrong with my uterus

I agree Samu, its all very OTT.

My 7 year old is exactly the same, whatever you offer he always wants a little bit more and when you say no sulks. On more than one occasion he has cut his nose off to spite his face when I've said no.

"Mum can I have a biscuit"
"Yes DS you can"
"Er can I have 2?"
"Ok"
"No I mean three can I have three"
"No you can't"
"I won't bother then"

Ungrateful turd.

Or he takes the two biscuits offered and eats them with a wee tear in his eye ffs.

That's kind of relevant then, OP. So it was a quick dash in and grab a few bits shop? And not a saunter round doing the weekly grocery shop?

NBU to leave him for a few minutes really.

It's an unpopular view for shop owners to have but it wouldn't actually bother me hippi. My reputation would be greater harmed by having lone children milling around - and something going wrong - than you and your friends not shopping here. Better business for me.

He's just testing you, isn't he?

I quite admire his spirit, tbh, annoying though it must be in this kind of situation.

Cannot believe this thread! I had the most overprotective mother ever in the history of the world anda even I was allowed to sneak off to the toy aisle alone.

Anyway the actual question. I had real words with dd1 last year - she was 12 but she kept pulling the same thing, oh I like that tshirt, me ok shall I buy you it? Her oh no hold on actually this four times as expensive one is better.

Did she get any of them? No. Did she get bollocked eventually? Yes.

But she isn't six - she can get prices. My eight year old still isn't quite there on teh price differential between a pocket money toy and a proper toy.

YANBU though op, stick to your guns and teach him!

i had this a lot with my dcs
at 6 is he old enough to understand a budget/read prices? eg you can have this toy as the price is below say 2 pounds or let him look for one the same price

Oh and yes snack a jacks are vile.