School has just rung me..................................

[SlowlyWakingUp]

DS2 (Yr6)went on a short school trip this morning. His teacher has just rung me to tell me that he 'misbehaved' on the coach so therefore they are deciding whether he should miss out a larger whole day school trip tomorrow which he has been very excited about. There is a big possibility he will not go apparently.

Now I would normally agree with the school as to any punishments for bad behaviour but I am not sure about this. I have never been informed of any behaviour issues on previous school trips and have not been aware of any issues in class previous to this. It's all very sudden and seems quite harsh. His teacher could not clarify what the bad behaviour was as she was not on the coach. Apparently it was not that he got out of his seat but just 'misbehaviour'.

Last week we were given a possible diagnosis of ADD for him which we will have to wait months for the 'official' diagnosis and which I wanted investigated before he starts secondary school due to his learning difficulties and is something I had always suspected. School are having none of it and in the 6 years he has been there, he has been labelled a nuisance IMO.

I have to see the teacher after school for their decision. WIBU to argue on his behalf if it's a NO?

Exclusion from a trip is a pretty huge punishment don't you think? For a 10 or 11 yr old child. Can anybody on the 'he must be PUNISHED' side tell me how that will help to improve his behaviour in future?

Extreme learning difficulties LIZS. He has never progressed. School have put pressure on me to do more at home with him even though we never get anywhere and it usually ends in tears (mostly mine).

I feel that I have been negatively judged as a parent even though his twin brother is in the top set for everything with no behaviour issues at all and his elder sister went through the same school with no problems. I did not want him to go through secondary school the same way so decided to get him assessed with agreement from the school finally in Yr5!

Where does it say the child's behaviour should be totally ignored

if he DID have a diagnosis then excluding him from a school trip because of behaviour resulting from his disability would be on extremely dodgy ground.

Act as a deterrent to him and others

Justgiveme - I meant just ignore the potential diagnosis

"ADD symptoms fit 80% of all children"

Can anybody on the 'he must be PUNISHED' side tell me how that will help to improve his behaviour in future?

because it teaches him that his actions have consequences. if he can behave badly on school trips and still go on future trips, why on earth would he change his behaviour? OP says he's been looking forward to this trip, so if he acts in an unacceptable way (presumably after warnings) he has to learn to face the consequences.

nothern - if it is down to simple naughtiness then cause and effect might help improve his behaviour in the future. ie: you misbehave - you don't get to go on trips.

We don't know if this is the case yet though. It may not be a punishment.

However if his exclusion is a reaction to a safety concern for the rest of the class then it is a reasonable one surely?

It does seem harsh, but DD's prep school had a rule that any misbehaviour could lead to exclusion from trips. If I remember correctly, the rule was introduced after a child with Aspergers had joined DDs class and would frequently 'misbehave'.

OP..I feel your pain. But much grief comes from posting about children with any kind of SEN in AIBU because people take no account of it whatsoever and trot out the usual stuff about being "naughty".

:(

"It does seem harsh, but DD's prep school had a rule that any misbehaviour could lead to exclusion from trips. If I remember correctly, the rule was introduced after a child with Aspergers had joined DDs class and would frequently 'misbehave"

Does seem harsh, and in fact a bit like illegal discrimination.

agree with justgivemefiveminutes. If he's been pissing about in school it's OP's responsibility to stop it not the teachers. If he's banned from the trip its no ones fault but his own

Naughty behaviour on a coach.

Mooning out the back window.

DSs best friend aged about 11 He thought it would be funny.

So it could be anything - don't jump the gun - get some more info.

Do his issues include any cognitive or social difficulties or purely form a learning perspective. Just wondering if he may have crossed a line inadvertently or whether he is perhaps excitable to the point of naughtiness. If the first then excluding from the trip isn't likely to work as a punishment.

Yes but he doesn't have a diagnosis. Fwiw, my DN, who temporarily lived with us had ADHD (official diagnosis) and the school were great with it, but that still meant at times there was punishment for bad behaviour, it wasn't an appropriate cause in all situations.

Fab

You don't know the school haven't taken it into account. You've just jumped in feet first accusing the school of failing to meet the boy's needs. On the information available I think that's unfair and unhelpful.

Until you know what he has allegedly done then you won't know if you need to argue his case or not.

On a school trip my brother scored his name into a wooden bench with s knife my mum had sent for him to slice his banana....

"If he's been pissing about in school it's OP's responsibility to stop it not the teachers"

err..no it isn't.

I've said my piece on this..have a field day :)

You need to find out exactly what happened. If they are saying they can't manage his behaviour for some reason, would you be able to go and support him as a one off, until a longer term plan can be worked out?

FabOeufsFromLaChocolateries.

headdesk is such a cogent argument. Well done. truly helpful.

Your child doesn't have a 'possible' diagnosis...the person you saw isn't entitled to diagnose anything.

Did I miss the post saying who the op an her ds saw to be assessed?