to think that DDs school is obsessed with attendance levels and feel offended?

[msjones80]

DD is in reception and she has been ill several times in the last term. Even though all absences were justified, I recently got a call from the school and the advisor from the council to discuss her absences. They suggested I was maybe being "too soft" and that children her age like to "exaggerate" to stay home and watch telly. I told them I only kept her home when she was clearly unwell (fever, diarrea, vomiting...) or there was a risk for the other children. I also let them know that each day I kept her home was a day lost at work. Still, they said that children sometimes could go to school with a little paracetamol, that that's how they build their immune system, and requested that I keep providing them with evidence whenever she's sick.

Now she's ill once more. She has had high fever (37-39C) since last Wednesay. I took her to the GP but she said they don't do letters, only appointment slips, and that my word should be enough and the school had no legal right to ask for evidence.

AIBU? Isn't is outrageous that the school cares more about attendance levels that the wellbeing of children? Do I have to give them proof everytime she's ill? Has anyone experienced the same?

Back

Who on earth asks "do you think you're too ill to go to school today".

A lot of surmising here.

No my son hasn't had legs caving in or looking like a corpse but he is often shite and would be better off at home.

Yes. I send him in,yes I tell them and no they don't ever ring even though DS comes home saying he felt shit,didn't eat his lunch and comes out even more deathly white, tearful and exhausted.

Parents evening -work shit and complaints he yawns all day(no kidding Sherlock that would be the cough keeping him up all night).

On a loop,over and over again.

Getting letters about children being off due to pneumonia and D&V is unreasonable on the school's part.
These are illnesses that mean a DC shouldn't be in school. A slightly raised temperature is not a reason to be off school.
What FloggingMolly and BackforGood said. ^^

I am torn on this subject.

Otoh my dd has medical problems which mean her attendance has usually been way under 80% and tbh no lectures on how it wrecks her life are ever going to stop that: they will just make her anxious and depressed about the future.

Otoh because she has these problems it is particularly important that she learns to keep any hypochonchriac tendencies under control; she simply can't afford those on top of the genuine problems.

Tricky one.

Kazoo - well, clearly not you, if it is a surprise to you, but you'd be amazed at the number of parents who do say "He said he had a tummy ache / didn't feel well / had a headache/was tired / etc" and feel that justifies them keeping the child at home.

"heads while the paediatrician is a good source of medical information, I'm shock that you would take a teachers advice on how long to rest after an operation. "

zzzzz, I trust her judgement, she is the deputy head, the SENCO, has been teaching for eons and her estimate of a week is based upon her knowledge and experience that every child that has had a tonsillectomy while she has been teaching has never been off for 2 weeks (complications aside). It is based on her experience, not on medical knowledge. The paediatricians advice was based on medical knowledge. Of course, I would trust his advice over the teacher's, but still, the two of them did come up with the same information :)

"each day that I kept her off was a day lost at work."
This doesn't suggest to me that this was an irrelevant issue. Even if the OP hadn't brought it up, I would have asked about it, because if the school and your employer are telling you that your child has a disproportionate time off work and your GP has confirmed that your child has no underlying health issues, then I think you need to take a long hard look at how you are interpreting those guidelines.

The paed. I spoke too said 2 weeks,I asked and got the hols!

My paed said it's not nice if they get an infection,no way would I have risked DS going back too early.

It wasn't that long ago that having your tonsils out was a week to 10 days in hospital then either a week to 4 days off school at home total time off 2 weeks.

I'm not that old surely

I had mine out in '74 - 3 days in hospital, rest of week at home, then back to school on Monday - all on doctor's advice... seems to have depended on the doctor....

Went from being ill all the time, to never being ill again - well worth it....

ds is year 8 and has 92% attendence. school fine about it but did get ewo letter! a chat was fine. what shocked me was when his form teacher said 17 days off is a grade drop at gcse. ds had already clocked up six days....

I don't think 15% over the winter is abnormal tbh.Especially not this winter when there have been some really nasty things about.
At the end of the day the kid is in reception .She is not going to miss differential calculus is she?

Bloody hell I am old

madame 17 days off a grade drop at gcse? What does that mean? Is that unjustified absence or any absence?

Are you serious, msjones, do you really imagine they don't fall behind if their absence is "justified"??? . Dear God.

flogging if that's the case you can always try to make up at home - it needn't necessarily mean the child will get a grade drop.

Oh by the way in case it isn't obvious enough, I am not English so don't really know how grades work. My little one is only starting!

We don't have a thermometer - you can tell when a child is too ill for school - mine can't usually get out of bed....

When mine are off school, they stay in bed resting with a book or some colouring - no TV, no games, no biscuits, no chocolate - so they always want to go to school because they get bored.

They probably had 4 days off in reception.. now one or 2 days a year tops... usually full attendance- but I'm lucky - they are not sickly kids - no major illness, never had D+V, just the odd ear/throat infection where they were sooooo miserable they didn't mind being in bed all day... eldest had to go to hospital to get some cysts removed, but managed to schedule it in the holidays, so no time lost there.

A lot of it is parental attitude to illness - I have a friend who is off work for a sniffle, her kids are off school all the time - "Oh she didn't feel well enough to go in" "He had a cough so I kept him home" etc...

Sometimes you just need to dose them in calpol and send them in, by secondary school kids need to know school is not-negotiable - it is the default in term time - my theory is - if I was going on a date with Johnny Depp would they be ill enough for me to cancel - if not - they go to school.....

This thread is actually very upsetting for those of us with genuinely sick children.

Less preening please and crowing over good attendance. You and your children are just lucky. That can change you know at anytime. In an instant.

This site says that 37-38 is normal body temp for a child. And that only if temp is above 38 should child be deemed to have a fever. Wiki also says 37.5 is about normal for a child.

OP says that 37-39 is high fever. So I'm not surprised her child has missed a lot of school.

thebody, I'm sorry you're finding the thread upsetting . I don't think anyone is questioning whether genuinely sick children should be kept off school or not, but people are just suggesting that perhaps the OP could send her daughter in on the occasions where all that is wrong is that her DD has a slightly raised temperature, which can be controlled wiht Calpol.

thebody - we do know that some children are genuinely sick, and some healthy kids become sick,but the thread is about the OP getting rapped knuckles for keeping kids home with a mild fever - just letting her know other people don't do this.

Yes sorry do see that of course. Just a little upset about the GCSE remark.

Surely at GCSE age it depends on their overall ability and how concientious they are at catching up with the work they have missed. In reception, I don't think they have missed anything really. Half of them don't actually have to be there. It is supposed to be learning through play, though how much they feel like playing when they are feeling rough, is anyone's guess. Personally I would have felt bad if I had sent a poorly child to school and was asked to take him home - if it had happened 'only' 3 or 4 times, I would have felt ashamed.

Taking a percentage absence half-way through the year is nonsense, especially as all the usual childhood illnesses are very much weighted towards the earlier part of the school year. OP, in all likelihood your DD will sail through the summer term without a single day off so the absence percentage will go right down.

I do understand that schools have to keep on top of attendance and that there are many parents who keep there children off for reasons that have nothing to do with genuine illness, so I don't think there is too much wrong with a reminder letter (not that the worst culprits are likely to take any notice). However OP, YANBU, the way you were spoken to was outrageous.

Still, they said that children sometimes could go to school with a little paracetamol, that that's how they build their immune system.

This is totally ridiculous. I hope you asked if she was medically qualified or how her immune system required her to be in school for it to built up.

I would agree with another poster that it may be best to keep detailed notes of any illness from now on. BTW, 37 is normal body temperature, so possibly not what you meant in your OP.