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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that DDs school is obsessed with attendance levels and feel offended?

254 replies

msjones80 · 18/03/2013 00:28

DD is in reception and she has been ill several times in the last term. Even though all absences were justified, I recently got a call from the school and the advisor from the council to discuss her absences. They suggested I was maybe being "too soft" and that children her age like to "exaggerate" to stay home and watch telly. I told them I only kept her home when she was clearly unwell (fever, diarrea, vomiting...) or there was a risk for the other children. I also let them know that each day I kept her home was a day lost at work. Still, they said that children sometimes could go to school with a little paracetamol, that that's how they build their immune system, and requested that I keep providing them with evidence whenever she's sick.

Now she's ill once more. She has had high fever (37-39C) since last Wednesay. I took her to the GP but she said they don't do letters, only appointment slips, and that my word should be enough and the school had no legal right to ask for evidence.

AIBU? Isn't is outrageous that the school cares more about attendance levels that the wellbeing of children? Do I have to give them proof everytime she's ill? Has anyone experienced the same?

OP posts:
Kazooblue · 18/03/2013 13:50

Mummy neither of those work.I asked the gp and he said there isn't anything.

kinkyfuckery · 18/03/2013 13:50

msjones80 What do your work think of you being absent so often?

BackforGood · 18/03/2013 13:51

My dc's school's target is to have 96% attendance.
I think all schools have targets, and when a child's attendance falls below that, then the school is dutybound to ask questions.
Once it drops to the equivalent of a day off every week, that you are talking about, then that would normally trigger the involvement of the EWO.

HOWEVER, this is nothing to do with hitting targets, this is to do with the amount of school your dd is missing, and the long term affect that will have on her.
80% is a day every week, or 2 months a year, or a term off more frequently than every two years. That is a MASSIVE amount of time off without a serious medical issue.

The problem seems to be that your definition of a child being too ill to attend school, is different from everyone elses.

As someone else asked, upthread, how do your employers and colleagues feel about you only doing 80% of your workload?

mummytime · 18/03/2013 13:52

Kazooblue - your GP might say they are useless, mine recommends it!

Kazooblue · 18/03/2013 13:53

A supplement that stops continuous coughs,colds and bugs-do link.

Original poster
msjones80 · 18/03/2013 13:55

^HOWEVER, this is nothing to do with hitting targets, this is to do with the amount of school your dd is missing, and the long term affect that will have on her.
80% is a day every week, or 2 months a year, or a term off more frequently than every two years. That is a MASSIVE amount of time off without a serious medical issue.^

What can I do if she's ill? Hmm

^The problem seems to be that your definition of a child being too ill to attend school, is different from everyone elses.
No it's not. I just follow the GP and the NHS recommendations. Angry

OP posts:
Original poster
msjones80 · 18/03/2013 13:56

oh well, italics didnt show on last post, but I think you can see who said what.

OP posts:
Original poster
msjones80 · 18/03/2013 14:00

Recommendations of the NHS of when should you keep your child at home

OP posts:
Twogoodreasons · 18/03/2013 14:00

OP -why are you not answering the question about your work absence?

Kazooblue · 18/03/2013 14:04

Why does the op's boss have anything to do with her child being ill?

Some kids are ill more often than others.My ill child is a twin and I have another dc,the other two never get ill.

This has been a recent happening,it is very difficult to do right from wrong and one day it could be you.It's very easy to judge.

MarmaladeTwatkins · 18/03/2013 14:04

Because the OP isn't about her work attendance. It is about her DD's school attendance. Why should she need to answer you lot about her work attendance?! Confused Hmm

LadyWoo · 18/03/2013 14:05

I have been told several times by my GP that a child with a fever should be kept off school, as if they have a fever their immunity will be low and they will be far more susceptible to other germs and infections, therefore meaning that they will be even more ill a few days later.

livinginwonderland · 18/03/2013 14:06

Because the OP isn't about her work attendance. It is about her DD's school attendance. Why should she need to answer you lot about her work attendance?!

because it's related. most workplaces wouldn't employ someone who only showed up 80% of the time unless their kid was very sick and they needed support and genuine time off.

IneedAsockamnesty · 18/03/2013 14:07

Uniqueatlast.

That is utter bollocks,you are under no obligation at all to send your child to school no matter what age they are, unless they are actually registered at a school.

You only have a legal requirement to educate them.

lottieandmia · 18/03/2013 14:08

This year there are definitely a lot of nasty bugs about. My dd who is 9 and in year 4 was hardly ever absent from school in past years, but this year we got a letter about attendance. She has genuinely been too ill to go to school several times in the year. She does not miss school for nothing - this morning she feels a bit unwell but I have sent her in dosed up with calpol. My younger dd missed a whole week off nursery last week because she had a temperature of 40 and was very unwell and then had tonsilitis.

I think it's normal for schools to check up and remind us of the importance of regular attendance in school but it does not stop us from feeling like school is pointing the finger or implying we don't take it seriously!

So, I know how you feel.

Kazooblue · 18/03/2013 14:12

Lottie my son is in year 4 and is 9 so far he has had flu(and yes I do mean flu),the noro virus and one horrendous colds,chest infections topped off by secondary infections.

He has been continuously ill since October and I'm convinced sending him in when I shouldn't have has made this happen.

I have never known a year like it,we're normally a very fit family.

Kazooblue · 18/03/2013 14:12

After another

Twogoodreasons · 18/03/2013 14:14

I think the work question is relevant because the OP is clearly interpreting NHS guidance differently from most parents and this is not only impacting on her DD's education, but also presumably on her job. I am interested to know what kind of employer stands for this level of absence.

PrincessScrumpy · 18/03/2013 14:14

My friend had this and social services were called by the school as they believed she was making up her dd's illness. They demanded proof so she took a photo of her dd (who was in hospital on life support at the time) into the school. She'd given doctor notes in but as they didn't know what was wrong there was no illness named at the time so the head didn't believe her.

I do think some kids get more I'll than others and some parents are a bit soft so I see both sides. Next time she's sick I'd take sine in in a clear plastic bag marked evidence.
Fingers crossed you have a healthy spring x

Kazooblue · 18/03/2013 14:14

My gp said this has been a bad year,does make you wonder if the figures should get altered to account for winters like this.

Original poster
msjones80 · 18/03/2013 14:15

to anyone who's asked about my work - thanks I got that under control, although it's not great when she's sick obviously. And no, I don't think it matters. I could be a SAHM or self employed or own my business or I could work for someone else who'd have to put up with me being at home with her.

OP posts:
lottieandmia · 18/03/2013 14:15

My dd's nursery called me and told me to collect her early last Monday when she had a temperature of 38. If you're ill, you're ill. Surely is school is concerned about time off they could suggest work to be done at home to catch up?

Incidently my older dc's attendance was down to 90%, which was why we got the letter. But as I said this is unusual for her and she is doing very well at school in spite of this, according to her teacher.

MarmaladeTwatkins · 18/03/2013 14:16

"
because it's related. most workplaces wouldn't employ someone who only showed up 80% of the time unless their kid was very sick and they needed support and genuine time off."

Yes but she isn't posting about that and you are just angling to have a go at her for inconveniencing her employers, aren't you?! Tell me you're asking for another reason.

Original poster
msjones80 · 18/03/2013 14:17

Also, I understand they need to do their checks, but like I said, I've presented evidence and was accepted each time. That's when I feel offended, because they keep insisting even though they know she was unwell each of those times.

OP posts:
Kazooblue · 18/03/2013 14:18

Thank goodness her employers understand that when a child is ill it needs to be at home(op may even have a nanny or helpful,parents).