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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To refuse to pay for School leaving party without seeing the quotes?

358 replies

Sunnymeg · 17/03/2013 08:57

DS leaves primary in July. Traditionally the leavers have a limousine to a nearby restaurant, a party there and the parents pick them up at the end. I know from other parents that in previous years this came to around £25 and I'm completely happy with that.
All the year 6 mums had a chat, about the leavers, do at the school gates and one of the parents offered to organize it. This is a parent who has had older children leave the primary and knows how it works. She said she would ring around, email everyone to let them know the costs and if everyone was happy she would book the limo and the restaurant.

Well, we have now heard from her, and she has already booked the limo, and also instead of a restaurant, she has booked a party session at a local play centre, as this is what her daughter wants to do and she thought it was a really good idea. She has asked for a £30 deposit and wants another £20 at the beginning of July. It costs children £12 for a day pass at this centre, and £8 for a birthday party so I can't see how her figures add up. I'm skipping over the fact that our DS doesn't really want to go to the play centre. as it is his last chance to do something with his classmates.

Am I being unreasonable to ask to see the quotes, I admit that I'm annoyed that she has booked the play centre off her own bat, is that clouding my judgment over the whole thing?

OP posts:
ShellyBoobs · 17/03/2013 12:48

I'm staggered. Utterly staggered by this thread.

Seriously, chavousines limousines for primary children?

W.T.A.F!

None of this went on at DD's primary leaving and believe me, I would not have got involved in such ostentatious naff'ness.

Where on earth has the idea of having bloody limousines come from? It can only be competive parents, not the kids.

If you said to an 11yo, "you can spend £30 on something frivolous, what would you like?", I can guarantee a bloody limousine ride wouldn't be the answer.

Rainbowinthesky · 17/03/2013 12:49

It makes my teeth itch to read about 11 year olds leaving Primary in a limo. I really hope dd's school doesn't do this as there is no way I will agree. Who on earth thinks this is a good idea for 11 year olds???

comfysofas · 17/03/2013 12:50

Oh dear I am bowing out here.

Some people think its fun, others have other ideas.

Tune in next year when the same type of thread will appear.

Feenie · 17/03/2013 12:50

Extravagance, it was only £25 each.

You clearly have a different definition of 'only' to most other people.

ShellyBoobs · 17/03/2013 12:51

I am glad I live where I live and parents are up for a laugh and something a bit different.

Do they all drag their sofas into the front garden when it's warm, too?

Groovee · 17/03/2013 12:55

Our School had a Qually, which is what I had in P7. It's a Ceilidh and normally they arrive 30 mins before and then at the end a disco is put on next door.

The limo cost us £30 per girl. The boys had hummers. Then the disco cost £5.

I would have forfeited the limo but you don't want your child to be the odd one out.

soverylucky · 17/03/2013 12:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rottentomatoes · 17/03/2013 12:59

Comfy
You are totally missing my point, I am not saying it's expensive for YOU I am saying they are a overt show of extravagance.

I remember when they were first imported from USA back in the late 80's. They were originally used as marketing strategy sit outside a few hotels/restaurants to make people think there was someone famous in there. They literally turned heads for the sheer size them and were a talking point when they drove around. My point is they were imported to look extravagant and show excess back in the day when overt showing of wealth was considered a cool, along with bankers talking about money loudly all the time.

Many people have moved on from that mind set now and the only ones you'll see roaming in UK cities are as I described earlier.

In answer to the OP I would be open and honest and say you would have liked a consensus.

comfysofas · 17/03/2013 13:00

barbecue get done two or three times a year at sons school.

Pizza, not very exciting.

£25 is not a lot of money they had a year to save up for it.

comfysofas · 17/03/2013 13:01

Sorry I was bowing out... lol

Toasttoppers · 17/03/2013 13:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

comfysofas · 17/03/2013 13:03

rotton... sorry i just dont get it....... it is a car and the kids will love it.

The kids will love it so I booked it, its all about the kids to me not what I think.

Sorry bowed out now and forever.

Feenie · 17/03/2013 13:03

£25 is not a lot of money they had a year to save up for it.

£25 is a huge amount of money to some people, and it certainly isn't the insignificant sum you are making it out to be!

Original poster
Sunnymeg · 17/03/2013 13:04

Personally if I was organising the leaving do, I would have done something completely different, but the majority of the mothers decided they wanted to go with the limo and meal idea and I have chosen to go along with that. It is a small year 6 with only 13 children, so they will all fit in the limo. It seats up to 16.

My issue is about the change of plans and increased cost.

OP posts:
Rainbowinthesky · 17/03/2013 13:05

That's even worse that the girls get the limos and boys go in hummers. What parents agree to this?

soverylucky · 17/03/2013 13:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rottentomatoes · 17/03/2013 13:07

Comfy
How can you not see that a limousine and fake pink champagne is a show of extravagance? I can understand that you think it's fine and just a bit of fun even if I disagree but surely it is blatantly obvious that limousines are a show of extravagance. That's the whole point isn't otherwise they'd be happy in an old bus!

Rainbowinthesky · 17/03/2013 13:09

They are 11. Limos and the like are for adults. What message are we sending ot our dds when the boys go in hummers and they go in limos?

ShellyBoobs · 17/03/2013 13:15

£25 - we have got threads on here about kids eating weetabix with water and no heating. For me £25 is not very much but that isn't the point.

^^This.

Comfy, you don't seem to be able to see that to some parents, saving up £25 for a fucking limousine ride is an unaffordable, maybe even impossible, extravagance and is totally unnecessary for young children.

INeverSaidThat · 17/03/2013 13:16

How about sending a message saying that you hadn't planned or wanted to spend that much and were wandering what the extra costs were. I would also mention that you were expecting her to get back to you before booking anything as that was what she had said she would do. I would do this sooner rather than later.
There is no need to be rude to her about it but you should definitely mention it. She has been totally out of order.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 17/03/2013 13:22

I'm stunned that all that is booked for ten yr olds. What's wrong with a fun day at a hook, a film, a sports day, an activity day that can be done free in class or even a mini party. Everyone brings in something for a doe isl picnic . Y on earth does a limo need to be boomed its madness. Half will be ill, someone will throw up in the limo etc . Way way way to ott

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 17/03/2013 13:23

At school not hook. Damn typo

JenaiMorris · 17/03/2013 13:24

It's a shame to not have a whole class event. I can imagine who would be invited and who wouldn't. It's mean and defeats the object.

I have lovely photos of all 31 of them having group hugs and dancing to 'I've Had The Time of My Life' (I said the DJ was cheesy!). There were tears and it was mawkish but it was cute, too.

freddiefrog · 17/03/2013 13:34

It's a shame to not have a whole class event. I can imagine who would be invited and who wouldn't. It's mean and defeats the object.

Yes, I agree. Our leavers just want something they can all do together, one last time as a whole class. Isn't that the whole point?

If you're going for a picnic at the beach, why not forego the limo and invite the whole class, take footballs, job done. Our local beach lets you light bonfires and have BBQs, take some music and make an evening of it.

We have a picnic in the afternoon with a disco in the evening, yes, it's not very exciting, but it's cheap and cheerful, the whole class are together. My eldest is leaving this year, but I've helped at the last couple of leavers discos, there's a lot of hugging, dancing together and some tears.

pouffepants · 17/03/2013 13:34

Comfy, why are you so sure it will be a big excitement for them? Surely you're projecting what you find a treat onto young children.

If dd was offered a trip in a limo, I reckon she'd go but would be kind of 'OK so it's a big car', but the idea of a whole class water fight would send her through the roof with excitement.

I've just asked ds what he did since I can't remember, and he said a school pool party which he got in loads of trouble for trying to trip the teacher into the pool. First I've heard about it!