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AIBU?

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Original poster

To refuse to pay for School leaving party without seeing the quotes?

358 replies

Sunnymeg · 17/03/2013 08:57

DS leaves primary in July. Traditionally the leavers have a limousine to a nearby restaurant, a party there and the parents pick them up at the end. I know from other parents that in previous years this came to around £25 and I'm completely happy with that.
All the year 6 mums had a chat, about the leavers, do at the school gates and one of the parents offered to organize it. This is a parent who has had older children leave the primary and knows how it works. She said she would ring around, email everyone to let them know the costs and if everyone was happy she would book the limo and the restaurant.

Well, we have now heard from her, and she has already booked the limo, and also instead of a restaurant, she has booked a party session at a local play centre, as this is what her daughter wants to do and she thought it was a really good idea. She has asked for a £30 deposit and wants another £20 at the beginning of July. It costs children £12 for a day pass at this centre, and £8 for a birthday party so I can't see how her figures add up. I'm skipping over the fact that our DS doesn't really want to go to the play centre. as it is his last chance to do something with his classmates.

Am I being unreasonable to ask to see the quotes, I admit that I'm annoyed that she has booked the play centre off her own bat, is that clouding my judgment over the whole thing?

OP posts:
GrowSomeCress · 17/03/2013 13:43

pouffepants I agree, I think at 11 I would have found the whole limo thing a bit weird!

DumSpiroSpero · 17/03/2013 13:51

dumspiro................ if everyone in your childs class was doing this would you still say 'no' ?

I wouldn't definitely say 'yes'.

Tbh it's highly unlikely it would happen at DD's school - we have a very mixed demographic and lots of families simply wouldn't be able to do it so lots of children would get left out. I certainly can't imagine our Head encouraging full on, expensive end of primary celebrations - she & the PTA would probably go out of their way to organise something that everyone could join in with at school.

From a personal POV, I wouldn't bank on my DD wanting to go on something like that with her whole class either. She would probably prefer to do something with 6-10 close friends, which I'd be more than happy to support providing it was sensible and within a reasonable budget.

If they are getting restaurants and limos at 11yo, what the hell are they going to have to look forward to in their teens, never mind their expectations - chartered yacht with a live performance by The Wanted and food by Heston Blumenthal for high school prom anyone?

No thanks.

comfysofas · 17/03/2013 14:08

I think I know my son and his pals well enough to know what they would like Hmm

I agree it is not for everybody but then neither is a disco or pizza or anything else that has been mentioned.

I [ and the other mums] have agreed on this idea for our children as we know they would enjoy it.

Simple really, if your child would like a disco, have a disco.

We are all different.

comfysofas · 17/03/2013 14:09

Hiring The Wanted sounds like a great idea, I will look into it.

GrowSomeCress · 17/03/2013 14:11

comfysofas I have a feeling that the only way an 11 year old would really want a limo is if their parents instilled in them the idea that it was really cool Wink

rottentomatoes · 17/03/2013 14:12

Comfy
How can you not see that a limousine and fake pink champagne is a show of extravagance? I can understand that you think it's fine and just a bit of fun even if I disagree but surely it is blatantly obvious that limousines are a show of extravagance. That's the whole point isn't otherwise they'd be happy in an old bus!

IloveJudgeJudy · 17/03/2013 14:13

At my DC's school they had the school play, done by Y6, then the PTA paid for a disco afterwards, the parents provided the food/drink, PTA paid for a glass of wine for parents, the teachers served the food and then mingled. It was lovely, as the whole class celebrated together. I really don't like the idea of things arranged that not everyone can attend, for whatever reason.

morethanpotatoprints · 17/03/2013 14:14

I haven't read all the thread but has anybody asked what the school are doing.
All of my dc on leaving primary had events run by the school.
They all had a leaving party, hired a DJ and had loads of fun. It only cost a few pound no more.
Why would you need limo and play centre? I can see the restaurant or a Pizza hut might be a good idea.
I know several schools round here do a Frankie and Bennys trip. They usually do a good deal and 3 courses for a tenner.

comfysofas · 17/03/2013 14:16

Yes but I couldnt hire a bus anywhere........

and there wont be fake champange.

I just needed a big car that I could get 10 or so kids in........

I dont see it as extravagant as it was only £25 the aston martins were extravagant I WOULD OF HAD TO PAY £2000 deposit for the insurance [returnable if no accident].

So £25 was peanuts.....

comfysofas · 17/03/2013 14:17

Our school does stuff in the last week but not on the last day.

rottentomatoes · 17/03/2013 14:18

Comfy
I am NOT saying the cost is extravagant. I have said this three time now, I am saying it is an overt SHOW of extravagance.

Welovegrapes · 17/03/2013 14:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nkf · 17/03/2013 14:22

The naffness or otherwise of limos is not the point. If you take on the job of organising a limo and restaurant trip for £x, you don't go ahead and book something quite different for more. Not without consulting people.

comfysofas · 17/03/2013 14:27

And I cannot see how it is extravagant if it only cost £25............

and I have said this several times.

rottentomatoes · 17/03/2013 14:28

Comfy
Can I ask exactly what the 11 year old kids will find 'fun' about travelling in a limo, that they wouldn't have in a people carrier or bus?

comfysofas · 17/03/2013 14:28

Also back on track agree with NKF.

comfysofas · 17/03/2013 14:30

nO MORE FUN BUT i DONT KNOW ANYONE WITH A PEOPLE CARRIER THAT COULD TAKE 10 KIDS

and I could not get a bus to hire.

The fun would be they have never been in one but always had a desire too.

mrsbungle · 17/03/2013 14:31
Shock

I am genuinely astounded. I must live on Mars. I have never heard of limo's and hummers for kids leaving PRIMARY school - aged 10 and 11?

Good god.

rottentomatoes · 17/03/2013 14:32

Grrrrrr!!!!

Please someone help me pout here.

Comfy it's not what you are paying for it, it's the fact that limousines are a SHOW of extravagance. They stand for a show of wealth, they are not made with comfort or safety or smooth ride in mind, in fact quite the reverse. They are built as showy, 'look at me' cars.

comfysofas · 17/03/2013 14:32

Can I ask what is fun about a disco, they have them every year. Or pizza?

I just wanted to do something different, that they have never done before but would like too.

I am sorry to offend.

comfysofas · 17/03/2013 14:34

Maybe is it extravagance where you live for leaving primary not where I live.

That is the difference I am in deep dark Devon and its just a laugh.

Nothing more nothing less.

rottentomatoes · 17/03/2013 14:37

No No No Comfy, how can you not understand what I am saying?

It is not an extravagant cost at all for where I live. It's is however, an overt show of extravagance. There is a difference.

comfysofas · 17/03/2013 14:37

Truly out now and just going to giggle at your answers.

mum382013 · 17/03/2013 14:38

Another parent from Mars here. Never heard of it. high school yes but primary? and yanbu to ask for costs. i would say no costs no paying. and i would get upset about changing the venue too.
i didnt even do limo for my eldest at yr11.

comfysofas · 17/03/2013 14:39

'' It's is however, an overt show of extravagance''

So what?

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

do not reply do not reply.