To refuse to pay for School leaving party without seeing the quotes?

[Sunnymeg]

DS leaves primary in July. Traditionally the leavers have a limousine to a nearby restaurant, a party there and the parents pick them up at the end. I know from other parents that in previous years this came to around £25 and I'm completely happy with that.
All the year 6 mums had a chat, about the leavers, do at the school gates and one of the parents offered to organize it. This is a parent who has had older children leave the primary and knows how it works. She said she would ring around, email everyone to let them know the costs and if everyone was happy she would book the limo and the restaurant.

Well, we have now heard from her, and she has already booked the limo, and also instead of a restaurant, she has booked a party session at a local play centre, as this is what her daughter wants to do and she thought it was a really good idea. She has asked for a £30 deposit and wants another £20 at the beginning of July. It costs children £12 for a day pass at this centre, and £8 for a birthday party so I can't see how her figures add up. I'm skipping over the fact that our DS doesn't really want to go to the play centre. as it is his last chance to do something with his classmates.

Am I being unreasonable to ask to see the quotes, I admit that I'm annoyed that she has booked the play centre off her own bat, is that clouding my judgment over the whole thing?

DD is a small y6 and too tall to enter our local softplay centre, now.
Skating maybe, most of them would enjoy a skating party. Could run that as a roller disco in high school hall for about £100 total with take-away pizzas, too.

I would be very pissed of at the change of plan and expectation of cash despite no discussion beforehand

The whole shebang changed on her dds say so Dont think so.

Our y6 children all get togged up and they have food/dancing in their best clothes on the school hall! If your kids are getting into a limo (nice and posh), one would assume they will be all dressed up as well? Hardly suitable attire for a play centre?

Yanbu- I would be cross as well.

What do the other mums say? Is this mum popular?

I agree, sounds totally ott for that age.
A limo for leaving primary school? I heard it all now.
Why not have a party in the school hall and save everyone money?
Im glad my dss school doesnt do such ridiculous things!

I had a P7 class a couple of years ago and the school decided to put a blanket ban on any parties being picked up in limos at school at the end of the last day.

I cannot tell you the number of parents contacting me concerned/annoyed about a leavers party that was absolutely nothing to do with the school. Kids were being left out, parents were getting overly involved and emotional, the money being spent, the pressure on the kids (girls) to dress up like 18yos - it was ridiculous.

In the end, school had to issue a statement saying this party has nothing to do with us, no limos at school gate, no harrassing staff etc.

Limos... For leaving primary school?

We had a school disco in the gym... Times have changed since 1992..

Sod the cost being excessive - the whole event is. These are 11yos???

What the hell do these kids have to look forward to when they leave high school??

We are breeding a generation of kids that have had too much excess way too soon. No doubt these children will be dressed as mini adults for their limo ride!!! What will these kids be looking for to get their excitement at age 15/16???? A worrying thought!!!

Sorry off on a tangent there - just seems so wrong for kids so young.

I personally would not want my child to go but appreciate it would be hard to say no when the majority will be attending (assuming some families wont have been priced out of it).

I dont think the cost is excessive for what they are doing but excessive when a disco/party with age appropiate games and a buffet would finish off their primary school days just as well.

I would ask for a breakdown if that concerned for the price but like I have said - for what they are getting, it sounds about right. Reinforces the fact its all a bot OTT for kids so young.

Lots of things have changed though.
Just look at all the wedding threads.
When I got married you wouldn't have dreamed of asking for cash as a gift-unthinkable. Never mind the hen/stag dos that now have to involve a mini trip abroad.

SkinnybitchWannabe there probably will be a disco in the hall or equivalent - really doubt event OP is discussing has anything to do with school.

Thanks for all the replies so far. Personally I do think that limo's are a bit naff!! but it has been done at DS for years. It was done for the year 6's the year DS was in reception. All the school assembles on the playground and sings the school song as the Year 6's shake hands with the head and get in the limo.
It is helicopters for senior school!! I am not joking! The play centre has death slides etc so is OK for age group, although DS hasn't' been there for about three years. We are in tourist area and it is a local attraction.

Although there was that (channel 4?) programme about primary school leavers' proms which were organised by staff - totally absurd. What a waste of teachers' time!

Oh and school is not involved in any of it.

And yeah, cost aside, I agree that the whole thing is just naff and stupid

Words are quite simply failing me!

simplesusan and HollyBerryBush, you're making big assumptions about people's disposable income. Expect to pay £10 more for something that cost £25 last year: are you serious?

I'm a secondary teacher and hate the extravagance of the leavers' prom for what is essentially a bad meal at the local football club. Looking back through rose tinted specs at our own tradition of taking ourselves up the park with a few bottles of cider and getting shitfaced (not advocating this, especially for for 11 year olds if course )

DDs school have had limos in the past, DD2's class didn't they have got outrageously expensive.

How tacky. My dd would have no part in that if it ever happened at our primary school (luckily it doesn't). I'd organise my own party without limos and fake eyelashes.

When ddtwins finished y6 the girl with an August birthday had a sleepover in their garden, I supplied one huge tent and the family supplied the other, for boys and girls. There was a trampoline and one of those massive circular temporary pools. Job done. Small school so only 15 children to be accommodated.

Lots of outrage here for something (limos at a yr 6 prom) which has been going on for years, in areas both Chav and non. Dear me at all this pearl clutching on a Sunday morning.

The cost is very high and the change of plan annoying op, I would ask for a breakdown.

How much are helicopters going to cost you when the time comes?

Is it possible that they are hiring the whole play centre? We can hire our soft play areas for £250, then food on top ect. It is a lot of money for a year 6 leaving thing.

Traditionally the leavers have a limousine to a nearby restaurant,

Traditional my arse. How 'traditional' can this be, for children leaving primary school?

To be honest I don't see why the school can't just allow the PTA to put on a special school disco with some cheese sandwiches and a bowl of crisps. But since you ask, fifty quid does seem terribly excessive for going to a play centre.

I'm amazed that considering how hard up everyone is supposed to be at the moment, the majority are happy to fork out for limos for 11 year olds. The world has truly gorn a bit mad.

You'll be telling me the little girls wear prom dresses and get their nails done next.

Ha! I can see I am not alone!

Has it Getorf? I have three children who have all left primary school within the last 10 years and I've never seen extravagance to this degree. They had a leavers' party but it was pretty low key - no limos, no restaurants. One was in the garden of a pub in the middle of the afternoon, can't really remember what the others did, but nothing fancy.