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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect people to take there shoes off? Sorry rant ahead!

326 replies

Damash12 · 16/03/2013 22:07

We've recently had a new carpet and it's not f@@;ing rocket science to see we have added a shoe rack near the back door but why do people look at you with a put out expression when they ask the question "do I need to take my shoes off?" and you reply "yes". And what's worse is those that know but still choose to walk in and just not bother or the best one, those that keep their shoes on and bloody tip toe around the place, like that makes it ok. I've actually had 1 visitor roll there eyes when I've asked them to come round the back, it's about 5 yards FFS!! Rant over!

OP posts:
wannabedomesticgoddess · 16/03/2013 22:09

THEIR.

Maybe they have odd socks on.

YABVPFC.

TiaMariaandSpringCleaning · 16/03/2013 22:10

PFC - love it, goddess! Grin

ReallyTired · 16/03/2013 22:11

We take our shoes off in our house. However I don't force my visitors to remove their shoes. I feel that having a happy guest is more important than the carpet. A vacuum cleaner does an excellent job of cleaning up when they have gone.

If someone's shoes were utterly caked in mud, or its really wet or snowing then I would prompt them. However I haven't yet needed to other than some of my son's friends who have been playing football.

blackeyedsusan · 16/03/2013 22:13

some people are shoes on, some are shoes off. you will get a split betwwen thoose who say it is about hygeine and those who say it is about being welcoming to visitors.

maddening · 16/03/2013 22:13

Depends on the occasion and visitor.

But if I wanted people to remove shoes I would ask them rather than expect them to guess.

HollyBerryBush · 16/03/2013 22:15

I find it a very English thing - people just tramp all their filth and shit through your house. This is the only place in the world where people are not brought up wit ha common set of values to respect other peoples homes.

I'm staring a gob of effing chewing gum in the middle of my front room carpet, from the trainer of one of my sons friends.

disclaimer< the only time I leave my shoes on is if the person I'm visiting is a minger less than enthusiastic house keeper and I know my feet will stick to her floor.

Szeli · 16/03/2013 22:16

I think yabu, unless they're filthy shoes won't ruin a carpet. Having my shoes off makes me uncomfortable and in pregnancy is a very difficult thing to do. A friend asked me to at Christmas, thankfully my partner was there to help me otherwise I'd have had to ask someone else there. Pretty degrading. Get a doormat x

Roseformeplease · 16/03/2013 22:16

Try this instead of pissing off your guests www.vax.co.uk

idiuntno57 · 16/03/2013 22:16

when we're invited to dinner st friends I always take my slippers. People seem pleased generally.

Perhaps it is the thought of having bare feet. You could supply slippers as in Japan.
Smile

thebody · 16/03/2013 22:19

Totally agree op. we had new carpets last year and they are fucking gorgeous. I got quite territorial about them. We always had a no shoes rule in our house anyway so find if my kids remove their shoes on entry other kids do too.

It's good manners.

WorraLiberty · 16/03/2013 22:21

What actually is 'f@@;ing rocket science' though?

janji · 16/03/2013 22:22

Keep a basket of cheap washable slippers by the shoe rack.

Geekster · 16/03/2013 22:23

No YANBU it's shoes off in our house, and if I go to anyone else's house I always take my shoes off. My In Laws don't and not so long ago left grass all over the carpet in our house with a crawling DD, they said 'oh we were just bringing our bag in' what all over the house!!

OhDearieDearieMe · 16/03/2013 22:27

I was 'f@@;ing wondering that too worra

WorraLiberty · 16/03/2013 22:29

I'm f@@;ked if I know, Dearie

wonkylegs · 16/03/2013 22:29

I've never understood the taking shoes off thing in other peoples houses, I'd honestly never come across it until I was in my mid 20's it wasn't something anyone in my family or friends did.

I don't ask people (unless the shoes are really really dirty) to take shoes off and we've had fawn/cream carpets for nearly years without them getting filthy. That's what the door mat is for.

I will take my shoes off if asked, although with a body riddled with arthritis this isn't always easy but I'm not a mind reader so you may need to ask me.

apostropheuse · 16/03/2013 22:30

So, your visitors have to remove their shoes and also to use the back door. You don't allow visitors to enter your house via the front door. That's strange.

You're not exactly a welcoming host, are you?

Use an outdoor and indoor doormat.

RoseandVioletCreams · 16/03/2013 22:31

ooh so they even piss you off by asking?
lots of people have shoe racks near the front door for reasons other than taking thier shoes as they enter the house.

SchnitzelVonKrumm · 16/03/2013 22:33

YABU and inhospitable. Get a doormat. And carpet downstairs is unspeakably naff.

INeedThatForkOff · 16/03/2013 22:39

carpet downstairs is unspeakably naff.
Seriously? Hmm

LRDtheFeministDragon · 16/03/2013 22:43

Thank god I have concrete floors downstairs, with the occasional bit of rain dripping through and dog shit where someone hasn't cleaned up. Imagine how shaming if I'd had carpet!

OP ...just ask. And, maybe consider accepting some people have clean shoes. On average, if someone is all dressed up and has come from their car parked outside - changes are their shoes are clean! But if that's not good enough, just ask and let them feel irritated, if you're that fussed.

sneezingwakesthebaby · 16/03/2013 22:44

YANBU. I honestly don't get why people keep their shoes on inside their own house never mind a house where they are a visitor. The amount of germs and stuff that will get tramped through onto the carpet and will end up in babies mouths, in your beds... it makes me feel very uncomfortable! I loved living in Japan because it was just a given that it was shoes off everywhere and slippers on. Different slippers for the bathroom too.

MrsMcEnroe · 16/03/2013 22:51

One of my friends has laminate flooring throughout her house and she asks all visitors to remove their shoes. WHY????? It's freezing!! Why would you want your guests to be cold and uncomfortable?

I feel very uncomfortable if I have to take my shoes off when I wasn't expecting it. Can't explain why, but I feel very exposed and unnerved. But I guess your new carpets are more important..?

WafflyVersatile · 16/03/2013 22:51

YABU.

At the very least politely ask them.

It's not standard practice in the UK to take your shoes off when entering someone's house. If you want something different from the norm then the onus is on you to communicate that without being rude when it turns out they're not psychic.

Iaintdunnuffink · 16/03/2013 22:53

If they ring your doorbell then you ask them to go around the back then you need to expect some expressions, confused or eye rolling. We have a shoe rack by the back door and a shoe cabinet by the front, they are for all our shoes. I wouldn't expect a guest to notice and then think its a clue that they should be using them.

If you want people to take their shoes off then ask, smile and turn it into a joke about how you're protective of the new carpet. Most people would understand. At some point the carpet will move from the new status so maybe you need to get some longer term solutions in place. Unless you're going to insist people always use the back door, which isn't a big deal, I know people who do this because it suits the house. Large washable runners and door mats? Get used to always reminding people? Seem of my friends always say please take your shoes off, it's fine. I don't bother because we have hard flooring downstairs.

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