Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that TESCO should be held accountable for selling something like this?

112 replies

ChipTheFish · 16/03/2013 21:43

I was shopping in Tesco tonight for a Birthday card for my brother. My DP was looking through the humour section and drew my attention to a disgusting card that was on display in the front row of the section. It read:

BEWARE

INSIDE IS A

FILTHY

LITTLE BITCH JUST

FOR YOU TO LOOK AT.

Inside is a picture of a dog. I assume that is meant to be the 'humorous' aspect of it.

Have I had a sense of humour failure? I don't find this at all funny. It gives the the creeps. That kind of language - ''filthy little bitch,'' is what I think most people would associate with hardcore pornography. The 'little,' to me, implies young, which just makes it even worse.

Who would give this as a Birthday card? And why do Tesco think this kind of thing is acceptable for a place where families shop?

Please tell me I'm not being unreasonable!

OP posts:
PassTheTwiglets · 17/03/2013 07:01

oops, an extra not in there. Of course I meant to say: the point IS that...

AmandaPayneNeedsaHoliday · 17/03/2013 07:03

Yes, small stuff matters. The small stuff reinforces a way of talking about women which is deeply unpleasant.

I can't understand how anyone would find a card which only gets its humour from assuming that you can call a woman a filthy little bitch is anything other than deeply vile.

AmandaPayneNeedsaHoliday · 17/03/2013 07:04

Sorry, that last bit was a bit mangled . Get rid of the 'is'.

fuzzypicklehead · 17/03/2013 08:09

What would annoy me is that it's perfectly reasonable to anticipate a young child (like mine) picking it up while shopping for birthday cards, and sounding out the words. Cue questions.

"Shall we give Jamie-Lee this card? She likes dogs"

"Why not? What does filthy little bitch mean?"

"If a bitch is a dog, why can't we say it?"

I don't want to have that conversation brought about by a trip to the supermarket. I would expect that any cards they sell be suitable viewing for people of all ages and abilities, because that's who shops in their stores.

I'm sure some people would find it funny. But they can buy it from somewhere my kids aren't shopping. (However, it is early and I haven't finished my coffee, so I am possibly a bit uptight at the moment.)

Altinkum · 17/03/2013 08:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

midori1999 · 17/03/2013 08:22

It's awful and I am quite laid back about sexist joke and I am also completely fine with the word bitch being used in the correct context, to describe a female dog. I think this is far worse than just sexist though, the wording actually makes me feel a bit sick.

Tee2072 · 17/03/2013 08:25

If anyone wants to Tweet Tesco, they are @UKtesco.

The card is not funny, that's for sure. So tired of casual misogyny.

TheSeniorWrangler · 17/03/2013 08:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fuzzypicklehead · 17/03/2013 08:34

I agree that you can teach kids about the meanings and appropriateness of words. I just prefer to do it on my own terms and in my own time frame. It would not be during or as a result of a trip to the supermarket. Perhaps when they're a bit older and less enthusiastic about what they see.

I can see my kids gleefully pointing out all the dogs on the school run with "Look at that bitch, mummy!" "That bitch has a blue coat on." "The spotty bitch is happy today!"

TheSeniorWrangler · 17/03/2013 08:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fuzzypicklehead · 17/03/2013 09:02

I did get a grip. A pair, actually. They were with the cycling stuff. In the next aisle over from the cards.

lljkk · 17/03/2013 09:17

I would think it was hilarious, especially if the dog in the picture was covered in mud.
I guess some of you get offended watching Crufts, too?

AmandaPayneNeedsaHoliday · 17/03/2013 09:25

It isn't the word bitch as applied to a dog which is offensive. For god's sake, it's nothing like the word bitch being applied to a dog at Crufts.

The joke bloody well relies on the fact that you might call a woman or a girl by this incredibly offensive epithet. Otherwise it's just a card with a dog on. If you find it 'hilarious' you must have understood the double meaning of the phrase. It's only funny if you don't find calling a woman a filthy little bitch. And I for one mind. I mind a lot.

Roshbegosh · 17/03/2013 09:32

It is a hugely offensive derogatory term for women and lets not pretend it is just our dirty minds misinterpreting it. Is it ok for rappers to sing "slap your bitch up"? When pimps talk about their bitches ...? Do Tesco pretend this refers to a dog? Never funny. Once upon a time a bitch was a woman who was a bit nasty about people, it doesn't mean that anymore.

AmandaPayneNeedsaHoliday · 17/03/2013 09:34

Whilst I agree with the idea that you need to complain to the company which produced the card, I think this is as well as Tesco. Not instead. Whether or not they check the cards, they are selling them. They are providing an outlet for this stuff. You don't get off the hook just because you didn't check. Imagine how that would have gone down with horse meat - 'oh, these are external suppliers,we don't think we should have to check what's in what they give us'. I appreciate that practically speaking they may not check every card, but when one like this exists, they need to take action.

Roshbegosh · 17/03/2013 09:36

Tesco are ultimately responsible for what they sell

Original poster
ChipTheFish · 17/03/2013 09:44

I forgot to say that on the top of the card it says 'Mens Erotica.

Anybody who thinks that I am offended by the word 'Bitch' in reference to a dog, is missing the point.

The inference of the card is clear. Here is a picture of a ''Filthy Little Bitch'' for you to look at, i.e a woman. Reader opens the card, 'Oh wait, that isn't the kind of filthy little bitch I was expecting to see, it's a dog! Cue much hilarity...Hmm

OP posts:
Roshbegosh · 17/03/2013 10:01

Maybe if it is classified as men's erotica they need to have a bestiality section at Tesco's

emess · 17/03/2013 10:08

OP, are you aware of the Everyday Sexism project ? This fits, IMO.

Original poster
ChipTheFish · 17/03/2013 10:10

emess I've never heard of it. I'll have a look at the link, thanks :)

OP posts:
Sallyingforth · 17/03/2013 10:11

Personally I'd be far more worried about them selling clothes made in dodgy third world factories.

Nanny0gg · 17/03/2013 10:15

I don't understand the 'well, there's worse out there' argument.

So what? There's better too. And just because some think it's funny, it doesn't mean that those that don't shouldn't put forward their points of view. Tesco will either take note or they won't. Doesn't mean the OP shouldn't be allowed to tell them what she thinks in the first place.

I also hate the 'well, you haven't much of a sense of humour if you don't like it' attitude either. I think I have a sense of humour. It just doesn't find that kind of thing amusing.

Nanny0gg · 17/03/2013 10:16

Sallyingforth

You can be concerned about both, you know.

Original poster
ChipTheFish · 17/03/2013 10:42

If the card said, 'Here is a Bitch for you to look at,' it would still have annoyed me but I don't think I would have written to complain. I hear the word 'Bitch' used as a substitute for 'woman' in songs and on TV programmes. It is specifically the phrase 'Filthy little bitch' that makes this card unpalatable and upsetting.

My little sister tells me stories from her high school (catholic) where young boys have used language like this in texts and facebook messages to girls she knows. It's becoming too common to hear women and girls spoken about in a derogatory and sexualised way.

I'm 23 and when I was at school to have explicit sexual language and behaviour directed my way would have been shocking. According to my sister and her friends, this behaviour is sadly becoming the norm.

OP posts:
SashaSashays · 17/03/2013 10:52

I think its quite funny, I'd maybe buy it for my DH or brother as a joke.

Also fine you can get worked up about the word little although I don't think it necessarily has those connotations, maybe certain sexual ones but not those you have chosen to apply. But the use of the world filthy is quite key to the joke and hardly offensive.

I think your last two sentences are utter nonsense. Not that I think the topic has truly anything to do with the card, but the use of explicit sexual language and behaviour by teenage boys towards teenage girls, particularly in secondary school has been going on for decades. I know women who went to school in the sixties right through to the present day and I would bet my house and annual salary that all of them had experienced or witnessed that behaviour in question to some degree whilst at school. Of course that isn't good or acceptable news but the idea you are attempting to appropriate such actions not only to the present day but as a new phenomenon is ludicrous.