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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to really want my three week old to sleep for a bit...

35 replies

PhoebeC · 16/03/2013 01:24

I've been trying to settle her since 10pm.
She is clean, dry, warm, fed, winded and comforted, but won't settle for more than ten minutes.
I'm not unrealistic, I only expect her to sleep for an hour or so at a time, but she really is only lasting minutes before crying again.
My husband is on nights, so I'm alone with her and have no idea what to try next.

OP posts:
Goandplay · 16/03/2013 01:32

I was in the exact same position as you with my twins early hours last week. I gave up that time, got up and went downstairs. As soon as I put them in their bouncer chairs they went to sleep! I had a cup of coffee and a cry and put them in their cot.

What is she doing? Crying for you? Maybe for your own sanity you should just cuddle her and give up on her sleeping for a bit.

Goandplay · 16/03/2013 01:33

I should have said that they have been settling much better since then, it was (hopefully) a one off .

Original poster
PhoebeC · 16/03/2013 01:37

Well, right now she's sleeping on my chest, but I know as soon as I put her in the crib she'll wake up. She normally sleeps fine in the crib - last night even managed 2 or 3 hours at a time, but tonight is just not settling.

Oh well, every night ends sometime, doesn't it?

OP posts:
Original poster
PhoebeC · 16/03/2013 01:39

Ps twins - congratulations and good luck. My sister has twins, now 5, so I have some idea of the double work, but double joy.

OP posts:
MurderOfGoths · 16/03/2013 01:43

DS went through that, it was hard and there are no easy solutions unfortunately, but it does pass (no consolation right now I know). Do you drive? We found that sometimes being in the car soothed him. Otherwise I spent many night just pacing around the flat with him, someone on MN told me to try patting his bottom gently at the same speed as my heartbeat, as he'd have felt it in the womb. No idea if there's actually a correlation, but it worked quite often.

Goandplay · 16/03/2013 01:45

Thank you. Sometimes the fact that the night ends is all that gets me through!

What if you cradle her until she is in a deep sleep and try again? Someone suggested to me to use a muslin whilst doing it and leaving it in the crib so they can still smell you.

Can you get some rest tomorrow?

Marcheline · 16/03/2013 01:49

Why don't you let her sleep with you tonight instead of trying to get her in the cot? I had the same battle with my 3 week old last night and ended up with her in bed with me. Tonight, she seems to be happy to go down in her cot in between feeds (fingers crossed). They are still so small, of course they way to be with mummy.

It will pass.

Original poster
PhoebeC · 16/03/2013 01:54

That's what I've been doing so far, letting her fall asleep on me and transferring, but she just wakes within minutes. Maybe I'll try the muslin this time.

Driving around is not an option for several reasons - mostly my husband has the car and she doesn't seem to like the car much anyway. Also, I had a section so I'm still not allowed to drive. And anyway, I'm not sure I'm ready to give in psychologically and admit I'm at the driving around in the middle of the night stage yet!

OP posts:
Goandplay · 16/03/2013 01:58

I have 1 baby with me for some of the night. He seems to need it.

My DS is 7, I don't remember the early days being like this!

Original poster
PhoebeC · 16/03/2013 01:58

We have brought her in to bed with us a couple of times when she's been really unsettled, but I don't really relax, so still don't sleep.
Mostly she settles well in the crib, just not tonight.

OP posts:
Goandplay · 16/03/2013 02:01

Our tonight down as one of those nights. Not easy when you're home alone.

How are you recovering from your c section? I'm 4 weeks in, so far so good.

Original poster
PhoebeC · 16/03/2013 02:06

Great, actually, much better than I expected; I'm pain-free and completely mobile already. I lost quite a lot of blood, so the anaemia and fatigue has been a pain, but that's improving now.

Ok, she is fast asleep, I'm going to try one more time...

OP posts:
LillyofWinchester · 16/03/2013 02:11

My DS used to do that sometimes too, it won't be forever and tomorrow night could be completely different, it all changes so fast during the first few weeks. My advice is to just write the night off and treat any sleep you do get as a bonus. Your baby just loves being close to you as it feels safe and secure and one day you will look back and miss these newborn snuggles. Hard to imagine when your shattered and recovering from a major operation I know.

You could try swaddling her so she doesn't wake herself up when she twitches. My DS used to twitch and his hand hitting he side of the cot would wake him. He would still be doing this but now I either swaddle him or put him on his side ( he's 8 weeks) Also how long after she falls asleep do you transfer her? Maybe wait 10 minutes longer than you think you need to? You've probably tried both of those things but I thought I'd mention just incase.

There is light at the end of the tunnel, soon you'll just be waking to feed and then she'll go straight back to sleep. Good luck

Goandplay · 16/03/2013 02:17

Good luck!

Goandplay · 16/03/2013 02:19

Good call on the extra 10 minutes. When I'm tired I always try to early. Wait for the floppy arms..

Original poster
PhoebeC · 16/03/2013 02:47

From floppy-armed and definitely asleep to wide-eyed awake in under 60 seconds.
She's had another feed and is back on my chest.
Swaddling she hates, we've only tried it once but it made her furious and she just struggled and cried 'til her arms were free - she doesn't even seem to like her arms under a blanket.
Just one of those nights, I guess, and one of those days tomorrow as we'll have to vacate the bed to let my husband get some sleep. Sofa day for us, I think.

OP posts:
MissRenataFlitworth · 16/03/2013 02:54

Have you tried warming her crib? I'd wake up and complain if somebody took me from a warm and cosy sleepy environment and put me in a cold crib, wouldn't you? People seem to worry so much about babies overheating, but it has been really cold at night recently and the cold sheets might just be enough to get her startle reflex going.

SuckingDiesel · 16/03/2013 03:02

White noise was my saviour when DD was tiny. The hairdryer was particularly effective.

Hopefully tonight is one off if she's usually happy to settle in her cot. Good luck!

nellyjelly · 16/03/2013 04:15

Awwwwww. Feel for you. It is exhausting. My DS was just like this, it passed eventually. 3 weeks is still so small, they just want safety and security snuggled up to mum. It is normal. Though tough for you. I think I just slept when I could for the first few weeks. DS slept more in the day than at night at that age! I just tried to snatch sleep during the day til eventually he slept for longer periods at night.

It will get better.

notnagging · 16/03/2013 04:20

My midwife taught me to co-sleep & feed in bed lying down. It saved my sleep & my sanity. Mine went into their own cots at 6 months.

PurplePidjin · 16/03/2013 04:25

It was about that age i discovered that ds (now 4 months) is a tummy sleeper. Hv said just make sure he's not in too many layers as they get hotter on their fronts, and make sure his head is on one side. He now does 5-2-2 over night with feeds in between and has done longer damn you growth spurts and 4 month sleep regression

Goandplay · 16/03/2013 06:43

Hope you got some sleep eventually.

Original poster
PhoebeC · 16/03/2013 07:51

A few half hour snatches since 4am.
She is obviously as tired as I am, poor little thing.

Thanks for the company everyone.

OP posts:
Altinkum · 16/03/2013 08:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cansu · 16/03/2013 08:28

Mine slept best in bouncy chair laid back. Some nights she slept in this rather than crib.