to really want my three week old to sleep for a bit...

[PhoebeC]

I've been trying to settle her since 10pm.
She is clean, dry, warm, fed, winded and comforted, but won't settle for more than ten minutes.
I'm not unrealistic, I only expect her to sleep for an hour or so at a time, but she really is only lasting minutes before crying again.
My husband is on nights, so I'm alone with her and have no idea what to try next.

I see the logic, but she's normally fine on her back. I haven't suspected reflux at all so far.

I'm going to assume last night was a one off and hope for the best tonight.

Oh bless you it is hard!

Have you tried swaddling her and then putting her down on her side to sleep? Sounds like she needs the security of feeling held - do her arms flail out when she is in the crib?

I second warming the crib. I used to put a hot water bottle in to warm basket up and take it out before putting DD in, obvs check the sheet is not too hot. It's surprising how much the cold can disturb babies. 12mo DD started waking at 4am regularly, we tried all sorts, then got her a new, higher tog sleeping bag and she's sleeping through now most of the time.

Babies naturally wake 10 minutes after falling asleep, then if all is ok settle for a proper sleep cycle. If you wait for the proper sleep cycle to put them down they are less likely to wake.

I always recommend swaddling and white noise. If it wasn't for these things during the first few months of ds's life, I wouldn't have survived. DS was the complete opposite to dd. he still is a very clingy baby and needs a lot if comfort. Now, he will not sleep without his muslin comfort cloth and sucking his thumb.

There are a few apps you can download with white noise, or just get a rain falling sound on YouTube, rock baby to sleep and gently transfer with the sound still playing. I always found making a "shhh shhh" sound helped too. Apparently it reminds them of the sound of blood flowing in the uterus and makes then feel secure.

If she doesn't like being swaddled with her arms under the blanket you could try just wrapping the blanket under her arms. I found having the blanket over DS2's back whilst he Settled on me meant that I could put him down without the cold cot waking him. I then wrapped him up in it under his arms. Good luck, the first few weeks can be an endurance but it does get better.

it could be a sleep phase issue. when my dd was this age i read somewhere about 'the 20 min rule'
basically babies take a while (about 20 mins) to go from being lightly asleep (so are wide awake again if you move them or put them down); to being properly asleep...
So you get stuck in aloop of settling, putting down and picking straight up a crying baby allnight !

with the 20 min rule you settle them to sleep then wait for 20 mins.... when 9/10 times you can put them down in cot and sneak an hour yourself!

this works for me unless she's sick or teething... then sleep not happening regardless!

Try a loose blanket, rather than swaddling, so she doesn't lose your body heat so much as soon as you move her away from you to put her in her basket. Alternatively, co-sleeping worked for me.

Thanks for all the tips, it's interesting to hear what works for everyone.

The thing is, she's normally (in so much as anything is normal at this early stage) pretty good at night and I'm normally good at knowing what she needs. Which makes the odd night like last night all the more baffling.

I think I'll stick with my sister's philosophy - anything bad is a one off, anything good is the start of a pattern.

Anyway, what I really needed last night was company, so thanks MN for exactly that.

ah bless you i remember when my ds 1 was this age me and dh would take it in turns to sleep two hours at a time she will not really be in any routine yet just sleep when she does i promise you it gets easier