AIBU to think that if a midday assistant at school feels it necessary to shout at my 6 yr old, I should have been informed?

[laluna]

DS came out of class crying saying he had been yelled at by the MDA and he didn't understand why.

He explained to me that there had been a bit if a falling out in his group of friends and she shouted at them.

If my child does something wrong, I am not precious about him and the situation should be death with accordingly by the person in charge. No issue with that. But AIBU to think that yelling is not really appropriate and if the situation is really that bad, I should be involved?? Am a bit cross and have asked the school to clarify the position.

YABVVU for all the reasons given above. And also because you have to trust the school to discipline your child during school time.

Sounds like he was busted doing something naughty so turned on the waterworks in case you had already been told about his misbehaviour. YABU.

When DD was in Y1 (so 6) she always used to come home and complain that the teacher-who-covered-PPA was always shouting at her. As DD is a real goody-good girl I thought this was odd.

It turned out that said teacher was not shouting at all, but merely had a rather loud and assertive voice.

I kind of get what OP is saying, not completely U, but I would think if my 6yo came out crying about it that they were actually tired & upset about something else that happened in the previous 10 minutes.

If he came out of school crying it was either one of these three scenarios:

1. He had spent all afternoon crying because he was shouted at during lunch. In which case I would have expected the teacher to talk to you at pick up time.
2. He began to cry when he saw you because perhaps he was worried school had called you to say he had been involved in a playground kerfuffle at lunch and was anticipating another discussion / telling off, this time from you.
3. He was tired and overemotional as he is only young and was crying due to to this but is not old enough to verbalise this yet so told you he was crying because of the minor incident at lunchtime as he felt he ought to give an explanation for his tears.

My money is on scenario 3.

YABU. Tell him to suck it up or behave himself. Preferably both.

You know I think all parents should spend a few days volunteering in their child's school to see what the reality of working and coping with scores of children is, without allowing anarchy to descend!

not being precious

Best to speak to his teacher if it really is a big issue for you.

The best message you could give your son is to tell him not to mess around during lunch time. In large schools, up to almost seven hundred kids might need to eat in a 1 hour slot, there really is no time for mucking about.

if I had to speak to the parents every time I had a need to raise my voice, give someone 'the look' or deal with an unpleasant incident, I wouldn't have time to teach.

A mid day supervisor shouted at children who were messing around? Have the Daily Mail been informed? Time for sad face pics I think. Especially as you weren't phoned/faxed/telegramed immediately to inform you about the incident. The bastards.

Get a life. She probably had to shout to b heard across the yard!

If people working in schools had to report back to parents every time their children got told off, there wouldn't be time for anything else!

Hold on, are you one of these "my child will never be told no/hear a raised voice" parents?

If so, homeschool. Give it 5 days before you crack

Lets all wrap our little sproglings up in cotton wool incase anyone dares to tell them off or shout at them for being naughty. .

Jesus wept! I am the mother of two sensitive souls but if they were "shouted at" at school, then I would assume it was because the adult was trying to make themselves heard. Some Y7s accused me of shouting at them recently. Aww diddums, I raised my voice to calm them down because Y11s were doing Controlled Assessments next door while they got over excited during group work. Sometimes kids need to just STF and realise they are not the centre of the universe.

I am a MDS. I take the job very seriously as do my colleagues. It's the most intense amount of work packed into a small period of the day. You wouldnt do the job unless you cared about the kids. It certainly isn't financially worth much. Yabvu.

Oh dear god. Congratulations OP, you've just become the laughing stock of the staff room.

Ha ha ha ha ha. Seriously op are you mental?

If I informed a patent every time I raised my voice at a child then I would probably not have classroom time.

Get a fucking grip and for goodness sake don't always take your kids side or critisise authority figures who discipline him when he needs it.

That way lies disaster.

I was a mid day and had to shout on occasion ... Usually a "stand still" or "year three packed lunches" .....

If you are upset did you ask the teacher what happened, if she was made aware? I can understand that you are concerned/worried about your child :). Hope you get an answer of some description.

It's a joke, right ?
April Fools Day been moved forwards a bit?

I am not precious about him ...... really? ? ? ?

She hasn't come back- probably won't- but hopefully got the message.