AIBU to think that if a midday assistant at school feels it necessary to shout at my 6 yr old, I should have been informed?

[laluna]

DS came out of class crying saying he had been yelled at by the MDA and he didn't understand why.

He explained to me that there had been a bit if a falling out in his group of friends and she shouted at them.

If my child does something wrong, I am not precious about him and the situation should be death with accordingly by the person in charge. No issue with that. But AIBU to think that yelling is not really appropriate and if the situation is really that bad, I should be involved?? Am a bit cross and have asked the school to clarify the position.

Did all the children cry ?

OP I do feel sorry for your son, my 8yo got mistakenly sent off to the headteachers office by the LTS as a group of boys he was near were fighting, and DS was mortified. He burst into tears when he got home.

However YABU to think they should have contacted you or done something more.

A child got shouted at. Shock horror. Who'd work in a school these days.

Ask his sister if she always shouts or only when it is necessary (needs prompt action to stop someone getting hurt, has already tried softly softly and it hasn't worked, is across the playground, is in a loud lunch hall...).

pah ha ha. thats all.

i'm just trying to imagine the scene of 4/5/6/7 sets of parents being called up and informed the the MDA had to tell off their child at lunch time. what school has time for that? and really, what parent wants that? i could imagine if i got that call - "er, ok. thanks"

YABPrecious

Bloody hell what's wrong with a bit of shouting? Aren't school staff allowed to shout anymore?

The parent's job is to help the child deal with that sort of thing (he will get far worse!)
You can't have control of every incident. If I saw your child out, as a member of the public, I might well tell him off if he was doing something he shouldn't and there is nothing you can do about it!
I certainly wouldn't be a midday supervisor if parents were going to hold inquests on trivial incidents in the playground. She couldn't have done anything more than shout -if you have been in a school playground you would know the noise level you have to rise above. Maybe it was unfair but I would just explain that maybe she got it wrong and he could go and have a word with her the next day and explain.
It can't have been important or there would have been repercussions in school.

Really, you think parents should be advised every time it's necessary for a member of school staff to raise their voice? I don't think the country has the money to pay the phone bills.

I do think him crying about it several hours later is an issue. Does he usually hold onto things for so long?

"there had been a bit of a falling out in his group of friends"

In other words he was told off for fighting.

It's for the teachers to sort out the ins and outs of fallings out (or more often the TAs). MDAs are too busy stopping people's little bundles from hurling themselves from play equipment and killing each other.

Think Lord of the Flies, only more violent, and that's your average playground at lunchtime.

Oh Lordy. I've just realised that our late lamented dinner lady, Mrs B, should have been on the phone to my mum every single day to tell her that she'd shouted at me and as she didn't, I'm completely neurotic and screwed up.

Oh no. Wait. I'm fine

Teachers get grumpy. Children get shouted at. I've heard tell that some parents even shout at their children and sometimes they aren't even being reasonable. I think there should be a public inquiry.

FFS. really?

If he'd been crying all afternoon I would expect his teacher to have spoken to you.

You could do a post mortem on this but tbh I'd advise you to assume it has been dealt with, give him a hug and enjoy your weekend.

You've asked the school to clarify?

Congrats. You've just become that parent

Where is the OP?! Hmmmm weird post OP. Elaborate please if you will?

Having read this post I have just thanked my lucky stars that I no longer teach!
I think you are setting your son up for failure if you overreact like this everytime he is told off. He was still crying at the end of the day? Really? Sounds like he is majorly oversensitive and you need to help him gain some confidence.

You certainly won't get lunchtime assistants - not on the pay they get. If I was one and had parents getting uptight about petty incidents I would just hand my notice in - I could earn more in a supermarket shift.

YABridiculous.

Some lunch time supervisors can be a bit brisk, I grant you, but honestly.

I think you are being silly and a bit precious. in the playground she is supervising lots of children running and yelling-maybe she observed the 'falling out' and shouted something like,'Be careful x and y play nicely!'
Please dont involve the school it's not fair on the MDA.

If ever one needed evidence as to why it can be difficult to recruit lunchtime assistants this thread provides everything you need. What a ridiculous mountain out of a molehill. I'm also astonished that your child would still be bawling his eyes out so many hours after the event. Was he, perhaps, expecting you to receive a less than favourable report about his earlier behaviour?

Your child got shouted/told off at and you thought you should know, really?! If schools spent time telling parents every time they told off or raised a voice at a child, they'd be there all week!

YABU to even be giving this head-space.

Shouting (or raised voices anyway) happens quite frequently in school. Particularly secondary. I suspect you will be very busy for the next few years...