Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think that if a midday assistant at school feels it necessary to shout at my 6 yr old, I should have been informed?

251 replies

laluna · 15/03/2013 15:54

DS came out of class crying saying he had been yelled at by the MDA and he didn't understand why.

He explained to me that there had been a bit if a falling out in his group of friends and she shouted at them.

If my child does something wrong, I am not precious about him and the situation should be death with accordingly by the person in charge. No issue with that. But AIBU to think that yelling is not really appropriate and if the situation is really that bad, I should be involved?? Am a bit cross and have asked the school to clarify the position.

OP posts:
Pancakeflipper · 15/03/2013 16:09

If my. H

CabbageLeaves · 15/03/2013 16:09

I would never work in a school....

Nanny0gg · 15/03/2013 16:10

If you think you need to be informed if a member of school staff shouts at your child, then you are in for a long, long road.

And 'not precious'? Much...

CurlyhairedAssassin · 15/03/2013 16:10

Pa ha ha! Really your reaction is so over the top!

FriskyMare · 15/03/2013 16:10

He came out of class crying because he was shouted at at lunchtime Confused Hmm

Dear Lord.

SashaSashays · 15/03/2013 16:11

YABU she only shouted at him.

School staff shout, be it teachers, assistants, sports coaches etc

Is this news to you?

If you expect to be alerted every time this happens you are being very unrealistic.

soverylucky · 15/03/2013 16:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CabbageLeaves · 15/03/2013 16:11

Roughly what do we think the breakdown of time is spent on enquiries of this nature where staff brutality was involved and where child misbehaviour is the problem...

Brutality 0.0000001 %
Misbehaviour 99.9999999%

WorraLiberty · 15/03/2013 16:11

I was wondering too why he was crying hours after the event?

Pancakeflipper · 15/03/2013 16:12

Oops attempt no. 2

If my child and his mates were up to something deserving of a telling off from a MDA, I would be grateful for the MDA not standing any nonsense and ensuring decent behaviour. I cannot be with my children 24hrs and I have no issue with them being pulled into line by other appropriate trusted adults.

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 15/03/2013 16:12

YABU!

If you mean, though, 'should I have been told about this situation in which ds was obviously out of order and this resulted in quite a telling off', then that's another thing. If you mean 'should I have been fore-warned that he'd been shouted at (and that may well not be the way the MDS would recount the situation), YABU.

TheChaoGoesMu · 15/03/2013 16:12

I think you need to find out what happened first before passing judgement.

greenfolder · 15/03/2013 16:12

i could only be a mid day assistant if a cattle prod came as part of the uniform.

i assume that if the mda shouted, it was to make herself heard, probably with good reason. be grateful that the school do not see it as necessary to discuss every minor skirmish with you.

malteserzz · 15/03/2013 16:12

No one on here can tell you whether YABU or not without knowing all the facts , you need to ask at school what it was all about

exoticfruits · 15/03/2013 16:15

She was in charge, she dealt with it-I would just let it go.
You can go into school and find out what really happened, but I bet it was something and nothing.

LeeCoakley · 15/03/2013 16:16

'YABU. She yelled at him, she didn't hit him with a large stick.'

Exactly.

ElliesWellies · 15/03/2013 16:18

What do you mean, you should be involved? The assistant had to deal with the situation at the time. Should she have stopped to phone you right in the middle?

I think that if there was a pattern of her shouting and your son not being able to tell you what he had done wrong, you would be right to speak to the school. But in this isolated instance, well, it's part of going to school. Sometimes kids play up, sometimes staff have to tell them off. It is a learning curve for your son.

Pancakeflipper · 15/03/2013 16:19

I now think you need to find out for what reason the MDA had to shout. I am intrigued.

My understanding of MDA's is that they want a happy contented playground and they honestly don't go stomping around playgrounds looking at small children to yell at and make cry for the rest of the day.

pigletmania · 15/03/2013 16:19

Sounds like fuss over nothing. You said she shouted at the group not rapt him personally, tey might have been loud and not able to hear what she was saying. You need to see a teacher to clarify what happened not take children at face value

LeeCoakley · 15/03/2013 16:20

Oh, and I can practically guarantee it won't have even been reported back to the teacher. There isn't enough hours in the day for the MDA and CT to do a post-mortem on every yelling incident.

IsabelleRinging · 15/03/2013 16:20

Bloody Hell!! You think schools should inform parents every time a member of staff raises their voice? get real. YABU!

YouTheCat · 15/03/2013 16:22

I've been covering for dinners for a few weeks and it is so unbelievably loud on the playground.

Also MDAs do not have time to go round calmly talking individually to children. There are usually way too few on the yard and a load of children to supervise.

samuelwhiskers · 15/03/2013 16:22

Blimey, if you are upset about an assistant "shouting" at your child at this age, goodness knows how you are going to cope over the next 10 years. YABU. Total over reaction on your part.

LegArmpits · 15/03/2013 16:23

Actual LOL.

nenevomito · 15/03/2013 16:24

Mountain. Molehill.

Last time I checked supervisors don't shout and children for no reason at all.

Park it up and move on.

Swipe left for the next trending thread