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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want PIL to stay even though they have nowhere else to go?

999 replies

curiousgeorgie · 14/03/2013 08:55

PIL are having some work done on their house. Loads actually, it's a complete renovation and DH and I are overseeing it for them.

It was supposed to start last month and be finished by June but due to delays and adding a few extra things on its not not supposed to finish until mid to late July.

I'm due June 25th but will be having a C Section at either 38/39 weeks... I already have a 2 year old DD and to top it all off am moving house around the 3rd June.

PIL have been told that they should be out of the house for the whole of June until the work is complete. Before that they can stay and builders will work around them. They were going to stay with BIL & SIL but just learned that they will have her mother over (good timing!!) for practically the whole month and don't have the room, but we have a spare room, and after we move will have 2 spare rooms... So PIL have just assumed they're coming to us.

My DH is out of the house from 7-7, and PIL are in ALL day. I don't think I want them there when I am really heavily pregnant and just wanting to sleep in front of the tv with DD, enjoy seeing friends and not be a hostess. I also think it will be absolutely awful to have them in the house when I'm just home from a c section... My DH is planning 2 weeks paternity and 2 weeks working from home and it was a month I've been so looking forward to.

DH thinks I'm being unreasonable. He thinks they'll love being here and can look after the baby / DD for me... But I just don't want that. Even though they made a joke to DH that it's stay with us or in a box somewhere Hmm

So... AIBU??

OP posts:
teejwood · 14/03/2013 16:43

I never usually post on AIBU but in this case can't sit back. YADNBU! I hope it is all resolved calmly after your email to DH.

fryingpantoface · 14/03/2013 16:44

Any update?

yanbu - at all!

wineandroses · 14/03/2013 16:52

Actually, exactly why to the PILs need to be out of their house whilst the building work goes on? We had work done that required the entire back of the house to be taken off, and we had no kitchen for a month. We still managed to live in the house. It was summer (rained a lot though), so not very cold, and we set up a temporary kitchen in another room. It was fine, a bit dusty. Surely some parts of their house will be liveable-in?

HairyHandedTrucker · 14/03/2013 16:55

yanbu and nice they can afford to renovate, they need to factor in hotel fees to.

FairyJen · 14/03/2013 17:04

Also don't Offerti help find them accommodation or anything it's not your concern. They chose to be in this position so they need to sort it out. You have enough on your plate!

Original poster
curiousgeorgie · 14/03/2013 17:05

No real update yet... DH sent me an email back saying that we would talk about it later... But that could literally just mean that he's snowed under at work.

He won't be home for 2 hours yet, then DD has to get ready for bed so I'm not sure resolution will be forthcoming!

OP posts:
DontmindifIdo · 14/03/2013 17:10

Curious - get prepared now - get on line, research some short term lets that are available, the prices etc. That's your solution, if PIL want to do something different, that's fine, but you are presenting a solution to them.

fryingpantoface · 14/03/2013 17:14

I send don'tmind prepare now

PureQuintessence · 14/03/2013 17:15

Yes, go to homeaway.co.uk and see if you can find a small 1 bed flat, or a b&b somewhere.

AThingInYourLife · 14/03/2013 17:19

You don't need a resolution, you just need him to accept that this is not happening.

AThingInYourLife · 14/03/2013 17:21

And don't offer any "solutions".

Doing that means accepting that this is your problem.

It is not.

It is their problem to sort out for themselves.

Like any competent, wealthy couple without any significant family responsibilities would.

digerd · 14/03/2013 17:22

Dittto!

ISeeSmallPeople · 14/03/2013 17:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

digerd · 14/03/2013 17:24

That 'We'll talk about it' sounds ominous to me. No, he should listen to you !

ISeeSmallPeople · 14/03/2013 17:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RooneyMara · 14/03/2013 17:24

I'm sure it's been suggested but can you get YOUR mum to suddenly be visiting? DH doesn't know as you told him ages ago and he didn't register it...iyswim ?

ISeeSmallPeople · 14/03/2013 17:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LittleMissFantabulous · 14/03/2013 17:29

Reply as follows:

No dearheart, we will not talk about it later. It is not happening. End transmission.

Loa · 14/03/2013 17:29

I'd be tempted to e-mail back - There is nothing to talk about - they are not staying. Possibly included links to holiday lets - in the e-mail as well to demonstrate his parents have other options.

But he could just be busy at work and not wanting to talk/think about the issue at the minute.

digerd · 14/03/2013 17:30

Or ' I will not talk about it anymore - they are NOT staying here, and that's the end of it'

Magimedi · 14/03/2013 17:37

I would wait until he gets home - he could be busy.

The I would say that there is no 'talk' about it. The answer is no.

AThingInYourLife · 14/03/2013 17:37

The only suggestion I'd be making would be that since they are citing "new grandchild" as a (fake) reason for not being able to afford to house themselves during the extensive, expensive renovations, that the best money they could spend on the new arrival would be the gift of being born into a tranquil home.

ie that they should free up the "new grandchild" money to pay for their accommodation, without any help from you.

auntpetunia · 14/03/2013 17:43

Oh YADWNBU I would email d?h now ith. N

No we won't be talking about it I've told You it's not happening! the only people you need to talk to are your parents to make sure they understand, or I can get my mum to do it for you if you are too feckin chicken .

But then I am a bolshie cow: )

shesariver · 14/03/2013 17:50

I really don't think the nature of the relationship would come into it for me, even if I got on brilliantly with someone I wouldn't want them living with me in the month after a new baby is born, no way.

GregBishopsBottomBitch · 14/03/2013 17:53

Yeah i love my mum, but i'd be ready to kill her after the first day.

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