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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want PIL to stay even though they have nowhere else to go?

999 replies

curiousgeorgie · 14/03/2013 08:55

PIL are having some work done on their house. Loads actually, it's a complete renovation and DH and I are overseeing it for them.

It was supposed to start last month and be finished by June but due to delays and adding a few extra things on its not not supposed to finish until mid to late July.

I'm due June 25th but will be having a C Section at either 38/39 weeks... I already have a 2 year old DD and to top it all off am moving house around the 3rd June.

PIL have been told that they should be out of the house for the whole of June until the work is complete. Before that they can stay and builders will work around them. They were going to stay with BIL & SIL but just learned that they will have her mother over (good timing!!) for practically the whole month and don't have the room, but we have a spare room, and after we move will have 2 spare rooms... So PIL have just assumed they're coming to us.

My DH is out of the house from 7-7, and PIL are in ALL day. I don't think I want them there when I am really heavily pregnant and just wanting to sleep in front of the tv with DD, enjoy seeing friends and not be a hostess. I also think it will be absolutely awful to have them in the house when I'm just home from a c section... My DH is planning 2 weeks paternity and 2 weeks working from home and it was a month I've been so looking forward to.

DH thinks I'm being unreasonable. He thinks they'll love being here and can look after the baby / DD for me... But I just don't want that. Even though they made a joke to DH that it's stay with us or in a box somewhere Hmm

So... AIBU??

OP posts:
ArtexMonkey · 14/03/2013 14:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sugarandspite · 14/03/2013 14:01

curious you said in your op that you and DH are overseeing the building work?

So could you have a conversation with the builders (cry and explain what you're being threatened with) and see what they can do to change the dates / work around PIL living there / reorder the renovations?

Then present it to PIL as a fait acompli? 'Oh PIL, DH told me what difficulty you are having since BIL has let you down. I know DH suggested staying here but that's obviously completely unworkable. So I have spoken to the builders and you won't need to leave the house at all!'

Original poster
curiousgeorgie · 14/03/2013 14:03

Okay, i've written DH an email (best way to contact him at work and get a proper reply. Saying absolutely no way is this happening, I was so looking forward to a month of snuggling on the sofa, taking our daughters to the local park for the babies first outing, DD getting a whole month of daddy, and if you are really telling me that the dog has to go, and I'm going to lose all that time alone with new DD then you'll be staying with them alone because I'll find somewhere else to go.

I said he has to think of an alternative today, as I'm not letting this stress me out any longer, and I'd he doesn't then I'm going to get my mum to speak to them (I think the only person they'll listen to, there's no way me speaking to them will make a difference!) and after having me in tears on the phone this morning, she will not be nice about it.

And this will either lead to an absolutely massive row, or an afternoon of silence I'm sure!

OP posts:
HorryIsUpduffed · 14/03/2013 14:05

Well done OP. Fingers crossed..

ChipTheFish · 14/03/2013 14:06

Well done OP. Hope it turns out well :)

Original poster
curiousgeorgie · 14/03/2013 14:07

Sugarandspite - we were, I think PIL thought it would be too much. I found a whole lot of contractors, had them round to give quotes, got references, picked one and set a schedule of payments and work, then sorted the dates by which cupboards, tiles, paint colours etc had to be picked and since then they've taken the reigns of it back.

OP posts:
candyandyoga · 14/03/2013 14:08

Good for you! Brilliant - stand your ground. Pils sound awful!

HeadfirstForHalos · 14/03/2013 14:09

Well done. I'm glad you have your mum fighting your corner at least x

nilbyname · 14/03/2013 14:13

Well done, it's in motion now😀

AllYoursBabooshka · 14/03/2013 14:15

Whoop!

Well done Georgie. :)

diddl · 14/03/2013 14:17

You know if anyone had to be bribed with Sky to babysit their GC, then they just aren't worth another thought-either of them tbh.

Whocansay · 14/03/2013 14:18

OP I've just read this thread. I would be seriously considering whether I would want to make your 'marriage' legal at this point. The lack of consideration from your partner is staggering. He should be fighting your corner and making life as easy as possible for you. Instead, he is prioritising his parents.

If he won't back down, take your child and your dog and rent somewhere else close to your parents for the duration of their visit (if you really can't stay with your parents).

And his parents can fuck off. How can anyone think its reasonable to expect someone to pay for Sky Sports for a whole month just to babysit for an evening.

Original poster
curiousgeorgie · 14/03/2013 14:21

My DH is usually amazing, helps me so much with DD and works crazy hours so I can be at home with her... His parents are literally his only flaw Wink

OP posts:
ArtexMonkey · 14/03/2013 14:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PickledInAPearTree · 14/03/2013 14:23

My MIL came to help when my ds2 was born the week before last as he was in special care for a week. Day three post partum she had a go at me because my toaster was a bit crumby underneath and said it needed a "jolly good clean"

DO NOT LET THIS HAPPEN!

LadyPessaryPam · 14/03/2013 14:24

Did you insert the toaster up her rectum? I would have.

diddl · 14/03/2013 14:26

"How can anyone think its reasonable to expect someone to pay for Sky Sports for a whole month just to babysit for an evening. "

But even sadder that it went ahead...

His parents might be his only flaw-but it's a bloody big one.

He's actually being nasty & bullying to you because of them!!

PickledInAPearTree · 14/03/2013 14:26

I was on my way to see baby in hospital I managed just to hiss that it really wasn't a priority.

Then flicked rude hand gestures at her in the lounge.

God knows how I managed not to actually keep that toaster away from her arse!

Original poster
curiousgeorgie · 14/03/2013 14:30

I have to admit it was me who said 'oh let's just buy the bloody sky sports for a month!' because my little brother was the lead in his school play and made me promise to go and the only other people I would leave DD with (my parents, older brother, best friend) were either going to the play or busy! Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
curiousgeorgie · 14/03/2013 14:30

Pickled that is horrible!!

OP posts:
GreenEggsAndNichts · 14/03/2013 14:32

wow. Only read through page 5 but holy crap. Shock Shall be waiting with bated breath to hear what happens next...

And fwiw, YADNBU!! Absolutely shocking that they'd just assume it was okay once plans fell through with your SIL. Reasonable people know what an imposition it is to be in a house for that long (yes even my own parents) much less that long + pregnant, then new baby, etc.

jumpingjackhash · 14/03/2013 14:35

Well done curious, hope your DH sees that you're not to be messed with on this one and grows a spine

At least your own mum sounds sane!

I'm horrified by some of the MIL stories on here - we're still trying for our first but I'm already picking up tips, should my own MIL 'turn'!

jumpingjackhash · 14/03/2013 14:36

PS Should add, my MIL is currently one of my favourite people in the world

WhatchaMaCalllit · 14/03/2013 14:40

I will admit that I haven't read all 12 pages of the thread yet but I wanted to say I don't think (based on pg 1) that you're being at all unreasonable.

Now to read the next 11 pages to see if my opinion still holds

Original poster
curiousgeorgie · 14/03/2013 14:40

You're very lucky Wink

OP posts:
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