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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder how people cope with more than two kids?

92 replies

discotequewreck · 13/03/2013 16:22

This isn't criticism but upmost respect.

I would like a third but I just don't know how it's possible.

It is all the school admin, homework, social activities you have to organise these days. I literally can't see how you fit another child in!

OP posts:
claudedebussy · 13/03/2013 16:22

i do it badly.

HorryIsUpduffed · 13/03/2013 16:28

I have two and am pg. I see parents of three coping fine. I am convincing myself all will be well.

Admin shouldn't be vastly higher by adding another child. Activities - well, they do the same ones (eg different swimming groups at the same time) or do less. And they have each other to annoy play with.

cafebistro · 13/03/2013 16:28

I have three of 2, 5 and 7 and it's hard work.
I try to be organised but tbh I'm often not.
I think if I'd have had bigger age gaps then I would probably have made my life a little easier. I found having a newborn, a toddler and a reception child VERY hard.

idshagphilspencer · 13/03/2013 16:30

I have 4, work 2 jobs and do some voluntary stuff.
I also drink a lot of wine.
:)

nailak · 13/03/2013 16:32

you havent got a choice!

BunnyLebowski · 13/03/2013 16:32

I don't understand how people cope with more than one!

Having my time eaten up by ferrying kids to constant activities/parties is my idea of hell. As is having to schlep out of the house to do the school run everyday with a newborn/toddler in tow.

One is plenty for this lazy mare.

RooneyMara · 13/03/2013 16:33

really blooming difficult is this!

mind you maybe it improves after they stop being babies

catgirl1976 · 13/03/2013 16:34

YANBU

I have one and like Bunny I cannot imagine how people cope with a baby and a toddler

Are they superhuman?

One is fine

If he gets lonely he can have a rabbit or something Grin

Myliferocks · 13/03/2013 16:34

You have too!
I have 5 aged 17, 12, 10, 9 and 8.
Organisation is key but going with the flow at times helps as well.

Machadaynu · 13/03/2013 16:34

I think you and the DC adapt to the situation. We have 1. I don't know how you cope with 2. It's just what you're all used to I guess :)

Bowlersarm · 13/03/2013 16:34

The early days for me with three young children were fine (noisy and busy but fine) Now they are all early teens it is logistically much harder getting three children where they need to be with only two adults! It is impossible to be in three places at the same time, and either DH or myself are always out being a taxi service often at the expense of our own social life.

I wouldn't change it for for the world though, chaotic though it is. All the stages of family life go so quickly.

gordyslovesheep · 13/03/2013 16:35

I find 3 way easier than 2 because you have to surrender to the fact that you simply can NOT pander to their every whim ever - there is not enough of you ...once you've got that it's a piece of piss - and I am a lone parent to boot Grin

AmberSocks · 13/03/2013 16:36

i was bored with only two!

Myliferocks · 13/03/2013 16:36

Totally agree Bowlersarm!
Not to mention all the hormones flying around as they get older.

tattychicken · 13/03/2013 16:36

4 here too. They have to do the same ish activities, eat the same food, share a bath (2 at a time, not all 4!). Wear hand me downs. And yes, the wine helps.??

MountainOrMolehill · 13/03/2013 16:37

You just get in with it.

What other choice do you have?

idshagphilspencer · 13/03/2013 16:38

((waves wine glass at tatty))
:)

lockets · 13/03/2013 16:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

claudedebussy · 13/03/2013 16:40

i dunno. i find it really hard and i have pretty good kids.

i used to be so organised but now i forget the odd thing.

i also really miss my 'me' time.

i can see that it gets worse although when no. 3 goes to pre-school in september i can start sorting the house out.

but then there will be pressure to get some work Sad

(woe is me - selfish)

SashaSashays · 13/03/2013 16:40

We have 5 plus various house guests. Its ok, it doesn't seem that bigger deal to me.

We live in London, in an area with good public transport so once they're senior school age I do very little taxi service type jobs.

When I had 2 DC I good easily fill up my time with just them but now I manage the same but with 5 DC and the same amount of time. We aren't particularly organised but I am quite ruthless and I'm not overly 'involved'. Homework is their own responsibility. School admin goes in a drawer, I then do it, if its not in the drawer its not my problem.

RikersBeard · 13/03/2013 16:41

This has been talked about on a few threads recently and it's making me :(
I have 2 DSs 1 and 3 and would love another. I have a pretty demanding job, and as yet no experience of school routines, homework, childcare for older children, holiday clubs etc. It sometimes feels like having 3 children is only possible if you don't work. Is it really that much hard work?
Realistically if we were to have another it would need to be in the next year or 2 so not possible to have a bigger age gap

I suppose if we had 3 we wouldn't be able to afford university either, and that makes me really sad indeed

jamdonut · 13/03/2013 16:48

I have 3...(nearly) 13,16, and 20.
I've not struggled that much. But then I'm not a slave to organised activities,play dates or parties.OR homework...they do it or they don't. Simple.

It gets a bit expensive at the start of each school year.(Uniforms etc) But they learn that they can't have everything. I think my children are pretty confident and comfortable with themselves.

It's not impossible. And I'm the world's least organised person.

Iwantmybed · 13/03/2013 16:49

I also have the utmost respect for those with more than 1. I have 2, I find it pretty tough despite them being really good girls. Its the school run with baby that I struggle with. On the surface I'm sure I look calm and make up on but after the chaos of making lunchbox and feeding baby and making sure DD1 is dressed after dancing naked around her bedroom.Im mentally drained.

Crawling · 13/03/2013 16:50

I have 3 one severely disabled you just cope it doesn't feel that hard to be honest. I didn't find 3 much different from 2.

jamdonut · 13/03/2013 16:51

Forgot to say...I'm the only driver in our household.

But they know they have to ask well in advance if a lift is required,and pick-ups....I don't do after 9.30 unless in extraordinary circumstances.

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