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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder how people cope with more than two kids?

92 replies

discotequewreck · 13/03/2013 16:22

This isn't criticism but upmost respect.

I would like a third but I just don't know how it's possible.

It is all the school admin, homework, social activities you have to organise these days. I literally can't see how you fit another child in!

OP posts:

RikersBeard · 13/03/2013 16:59

But what about university fees? How can anybody afford them for 3 children?

ThedementedPenguin · 13/03/2013 17:05

I agree I have no clue.

My auntie has 7 dc, 10, 9, 7, 6, 5, 2 and 5 months. To me she is superwoman

akaemmafrost · 13/03/2013 17:05

Hmm I am not sure in the long term but I've looked after my nephew who is about 20 months old now and find it works really well with my two, they are 10 and 6 and entertain him while I get things done, dd especially is great with him. I think if your kids are older before the third one comes along its easier. When I look after him we are up dressed, breakfasted and out of the house by half 9. In a way sometimes its easier as having him there kind of forces a routine on us that we might otherwise not keep to as they're older and time can easily get away from us.

SashaSashays · 13/03/2013 17:05

Rikers, I have 5 DC and have always worked full-time in a relatively demanding job (professional career role). Obviously the intensity of my job has increased over time but then so have the children. I did find it a relief when I switched to working from home 2-3 days per week.

Also I'm totally confused as to what you mean regarding uni fees. You are planning to cover the cost of going to university for your DC or do you mean provide additional financial support when they are at uni?

lockets · 13/03/2013 17:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

littleducks · 13/03/2013 17:13

I'm also pg with my third, so probably should have avoided this thread!

I (fleetingly!) had two under two but for the most part my baby stage was two under three. It was hard is some respects but also easy in that the same things occupied them, trips to play group etc suited both of them and they had a playmate. They still spend huge chunks of the weekend playing together even though they are now both at school.

I'm too lazy to have one, I would have to provide entertainment and play!

RikersBeard · 13/03/2013 17:15

I mean to cover whatever they can't get loans for, the part which parents have to pay. Or have I got that wrong? We will still have a mortgage when ours go to uni so will struggle to help them, but I hought that unless you were on a low income you had to pay their living costs?

I would love to have a noisy houseful. I am enjoying children so muh more than I ever thought I would, but I just have so little energy left after work

lockets · 13/03/2013 17:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fluffy1234 · 13/03/2013 17:21

I found it busy for the first few years but once they were all at school I really enjoyed it. I have all boys and I think that keeps it simple. Lots of footie, computer games and food and they are happy. I'm pretty laid back and don't make work for myself. Nice big Internet shop once a week saves loads of work.

Sallystyle · 13/03/2013 17:22

I have five and don't know how I do it somedays

SashaSashays · 13/03/2013 17:23

Well they can get a loan to cover fees. There is also a maintenance loan which is meant to cover living costs although its a pittance really. Then like most students they work, as I and DH did.

We live in London and I know my DC will most likely apply to unis in London so will save on living costs. I've got savings for each of them which I will hand over at 18, but I would expect that to go on having fun rather than uni. Although if they choose to work less and use the money for that its their choice, its not a massive amount though, thousands but not into the double figures so it won't get them far.

Mainly I expect them to borrow and work, then pay it back when they earn more. My DN who has just left uni a year or two ago, pays about £30 a month back.

Shutupanddrive · 13/03/2013 17:25

Two is enough for me!

Ihateparties · 13/03/2013 17:33

Whoever said it way upthread.. i too do three badly...

Three is my personal limit.

Actually I think it might be one past my personal limit :-/

I thought it couldn't be that much more hard work but for me it has been. Equally I know lots of people who say 3 was easy and hardly made a difference.

Lots of variables. Impossible to predict. Etc.

gordyslovesheep · 13/03/2013 17:36

Uni fees? they can work their way through Uni and pay their own loans back - like I did - their father is wealthy though so he will help out

I work so I have no choice to be organised - I do a weekly food plan, shop online (food due any minute) prepare swimming/PE/packed lunch stuff the night before and pay for trips etc as soon as we get the letter

I have occasionally done stuff like taking them to school on INSET days mind

SissySpacekAteMyHamster · 13/03/2013 17:38

I have three, the eldest two are 8 and 6 year old boys, so a lot of activities they do together for now. The youngest is 3 and a girl, and I know when she starts with activities it will be a pain trying to juggle, but I will just try and fit things in with the boys.

I also drink a lot of wine!

youmeatsix · 13/03/2013 17:41

had the 3 of ours, under 5 yrs, found going from 1 -2 MASSIVE, 2-3 a walk in the park. Yes activities involved us running here there and everywhere, but its no biggie, they are older now, and i wouldnt have done anything different

anoldbloke · 13/03/2013 17:44

I think 3 is no more difficult than 2; the third is certainly cheaper because you've already got all the gear, unless number 3 is a different gender to the other two.

My granny had 14, though only 12 made it past the age of 3. She seemed to cope well enough.

Myliferocks · 13/03/2013 17:47

Out of my 5 I found going from 2 - 3 was the hardest. 1-2, 3-4 and 4-5 were walks in the park compared

hellsbellsmelons · 13/03/2013 17:50

Another here showing full respect to anyone that can cope with more than ONE!!!!
That was enough for me!
You are all superhuman in my eyes.

Tailtwister · 13/03/2013 17:53

We are stopping at 2 for lots of reasons, but lots of my friends have 3 and seem to manage ok. I think it's pretty exhausting though and challenging to have to go through the early years again.

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts · 13/03/2013 17:59

I cope because there isn't a realistic alternative.

Honestly, you just get used to it in the same way you get used to having one baby, having previously had none. I cope much more easily with 4 than I did with 1 or 2 because DCs 1, 2 and 3 are old enough to help out with fetching stuff or keeping an eye on DC4 while I run to the loo/hop in the shower*, etc. Coordinating school stuff and activities does admittedly take military scale precision and planning, but it's just day to day life now.

*I shower in the en-suite with the door open so I can see DCs all the time.

Also - gin.

SissySpacekAteMyHamster · 13/03/2013 18:02

I found going from none to one the biggest leap.

StateofConfusion · 13/03/2013 18:12

I've got a 5.8yo and 4.4yo and a 12wk old.

Juggling homework with the eldest is awkward as the baby is needy-er in the evenings. But after the initial baby fog lifted lifes pretty much the same we go out just as much as with just two.

sjupes · 13/03/2013 18:12

we have an almost 8 year old, the 16 month old then the surprise baby due in the summer. 3 kids was not what i wanted, planned, needed or felt up for. in all honesty it still isn't.

we need to move house because of the new baby, this pregnancy has been rubbish compared to my first two and i am not looking forward to buggy/sling or twin pram if ever i need to take the two littlest out for some reason

sjupes · 13/03/2013 18:21

the almost 8 year old is a godsend with the toddler, she entertains him when OH and i are tidying up or i'm feeling ick all the time plus she spends most weekends with her grandparents so we get time with just the toddler so our time is pretty evenly split between the two, 3 is going to be hectic but once it's here i'll not care :) i love me a beautiful sniffling newborn

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