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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that 9 years old is too early to have hormones!

43 replies

Dollydoolally · 13/03/2013 16:19

My gorgeous 9 and a half year old daughter seems to have turned into some kind of stroppy teenager in the last few weeks. Arguing with everyone, mainly with me, shouting at her dad, crying for no reason. This morning she jumped into bed with me for cuddles as she always does, but by school pick-up time, she started arguing with her brother, broke her brand new hairband in half and told me she hated me and I was a crap mum. I am so upset tonight, supposed to be going out with my friend (I never go out, wonder if this is what's triggered it off?) She is very tall for her age and I think possibly starting to develop. I didn't develop until I was 14 so not familiar with early puberty. Things are fine at school (I checked!) she's a member of the school council, plays sports and is very popular in general. I'm pretty hormonal myself at the moment, I am 45 and heading towards the menopause so although we are very close, the arguing is starting to get worse! My poor husband! I just miss my little loving girl and am finding all these changes hard to cope with. Anyone with any advice would be welcome as I am really in a state tonight. Thanks in advance.

OP posts:

AnnaRack · 13/03/2013 16:23

No advice to give but reading with interest as my DD has just turned 9!

WithASpider · 13/03/2013 16:23

You're not alone. My 9.3yo has been like this for the last 10 months or so. Both her and DD2 (7.7) have to wash and use deodorant regularly, and we have the tears, tantrums and door slamming.

I don't think i have any real advice, but talking to some of the school mums it seems DD1 is not the only one either.

I sympathise, it's awful isn't it!

YouTheCat · 13/03/2013 16:25

My dd started her periods at 10. Adolescence is no fun either.

Just be firm but kind and try and remember how you felt through that time.

WorraLiberty · 13/03/2013 16:26

I've known at least two 9yr olds to have started their periods at that age...so no not too young.

I think boys and girls do change around that age and become more moody/tearful/argumentative

TimrousBeastie · 13/03/2013 16:26

My 9 year old daughter is the same:( it drives me to tears occasionally. I have tried lots of different ways to deal with her but nothing seems to work, and like you would love advice as I'm really finding it hard at the minute.

Myliferocks · 13/03/2013 16:27

Sorry to say but it all sounds perfectly normal!

Both myself and my DD1 started our periods at 10.
DD2 didn't start hers til she was 12 but we had the hormones for about 3 years before.
DD3 has been hormonal for the last 18 mths ( she's nearly 11).

Myliferocks · 13/03/2013 16:28

Lots of deep breaths, chocolate and thick skin help.
Pick your battles as well!

showtunesgirl · 13/03/2013 16:29

Sounds normal I'm afraid. Another one here who started her period at 10 and my sister at 9.

50shadesofvomit · 13/03/2013 16:29

No. My almost 10 year old dd is v stroppy.

newrose · 13/03/2013 16:33

Swing by the preteen section (maybe in parenting?) - you're not alone!

toastedteacake · 13/03/2013 16:33

Sorry, YABU, it is normal.

Don't despair, it will pass eventually

user12785 · 13/03/2013 16:35

8yr old dd here, exactly the same. Breathtakingly moody, & can't bear her brother at the moment. (Apparently he even walks in an annoying way . )

SashaSashays · 13/03/2013 16:36

Yabu unfortunately. I didn't start my periods until much later than 9 but I know those who did.

Its not that uncommon.

gordyslovesheep · 13/03/2013 16:36

no it's not - sadly - I have one 10 year old who hates me and one 8 year old who has had pubes since age 7 and a bit - and cries over everything all the time - I have wine - it helps

catlady1 · 13/03/2013 16:36

Yep, I had periods at 9 too. I went through my most difficult stage at about 11/12 though and by the time I was sitting exams and making big decisons I was much more mature than lots of later starters, so there is an upside! I also have a much better relationship with my mum now than does my sister, who developed quite a bit later than I did.

I don't really have any advice other than take a deep breath and remember that it's down to hormones and will pass eventually! And try to make things easier for her, especially if she's self conscious about her body/period/spots/BO etc. It can be really horrible being the only one in the class with those kinds of things to deal with and even more so if your parents just keep telling you you're too young for a bra/deodorant/make up.

wrinklyraisin · 13/03/2013 16:37

My 9yr old dsd is also in the throes of hormonal angst. She veers between being a female Kevin to being a wailing mess, often in the sane minute. It's trying at times but I have a lot of empathy. It's hard having all those new emotions and no idea how to handle it all. I just try to be patient, consistent and offer hugs as often as needed.

WileyRoadRunner · 13/03/2013 16:44

Ok now I'm shitting myself. My 8 year old has started being very emotional. She still thinks babies are delivered by stork?! How on earth am I going to broach hormones etc with her!

OP you have terrified me!

whimsicalmess · 13/03/2013 16:46

Normal, my sister started her 'lady times' at 9 & me at 10 and I had boobs at eight.

StuntGirl · 13/03/2013 16:50

Wiley, your 8 year old genuinely thinks a stork brings babies or are you exaggerating for effect??

BabsAndTheRu · 13/03/2013 16:52

My two nieces went through early puberty and both started their periods just as they turned 8. When I got more info on it the findings stated that early puberty is becoming more common now.

Pilgit · 13/03/2013 16:54

Wiley - please have that discussion. I started at 10 before 'the talk'. when i saw blood i thought i was going to die. It was terrifying (i've always been a bit melodramatic though). My DM went through the menopause at the same time. you can imagine the fun in our house....

SashaSashays · 13/03/2013 16:55

Babs, I also read this too, that there is an increase in early puberty. I think it said something to with protein levels in the body, but I may be entirely wrong and be thinking of something else.

WileyRoadRunner · 13/03/2013 16:56

Omg - my DD is so babyish but getting emotional/hormonal....

Ok how do I even broach any of this with her? Any advice anyone?

Sorry OP to hijack your thread!

WileyRoadRunner · 13/03/2013 16:58

Haha stunt if I told her that she'd believe it .

She actually has never asked she just thinks they grown in your tummy and then get taken out (I had c-section with younger sibling). Because she has never queried it or asked I have never broached it.

Guess I thought I would have much more time to tackle things like this or that school would do it for me

MrsMushroom · 13/03/2013 17:00

Wiley are you sure DD thinks that? What on earth does she make of pregnant women? In your situation I would look for a good book and read it with her.

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