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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that 9 years old is too early to have hormones!

43 replies

Dollydoolally · 13/03/2013 16:19

My gorgeous 9 and a half year old daughter seems to have turned into some kind of stroppy teenager in the last few weeks. Arguing with everyone, mainly with me, shouting at her dad, crying for no reason. This morning she jumped into bed with me for cuddles as she always does, but by school pick-up time, she started arguing with her brother, broke her brand new hairband in half and told me she hated me and I was a crap mum. I am so upset tonight, supposed to be going out with my friend (I never go out, wonder if this is what's triggered it off?) She is very tall for her age and I think possibly starting to develop. I didn't develop until I was 14 so not familiar with early puberty. Things are fine at school (I checked!) she's a member of the school council, plays sports and is very popular in general. I'm pretty hormonal myself at the moment, I am 45 and heading towards the menopause so although we are very close, the arguing is starting to get worse! My poor husband! I just miss my little loving girl and am finding all these changes hard to cope with. Anyone with any advice would be welcome as I am really in a state tonight. Thanks in advance.

OP posts:

wigglesrock · 13/03/2013 17:00

I found it easy enough to broach as part of the 'sex talk". Every few months I ask my daughters if they still understand all we talked about, have they any questions.

NaturalBlondeYeahRight · 13/03/2013 17:03

Although early periods do occur, I think hormone surges are normal from 8/9 onwards. I believe it doesn't necessarily mean periods will start early. Most of my dd's friends got to 12. Good to get the 'talk' done and have a few supplies in the house anyway.

WorraLiberty · 13/03/2013 17:04

Sadly Wiley, the school probably is doing it for you...but in the form of playground talk

That can be quite worrying and confusing for kids (even if they pretend it's not)

I'd try to work it into a casual conversation and gauge how much she thinks she knows.

WileyRoadRunner · 13/03/2013 17:07

Well yes worra you are probably right.

I really don't think she has thought anything about it as she would definitely ask. If anyone can suggest a very basic book please let me know.

SashaSashays · 13/03/2013 17:08

Your DD is 9 and doesn't know how babies are made or born? You need to talk to her asap.

My 6 year old knows a very detailed version, I thin your DD will be getting very confused messages off the likes of her.

Buy her a book or ask her about babies and then move into it from there.

You don't want her to end up like a friend of mine who thought she was about to die when she first got her period.

morethanpotatoprints · 13/03/2013 17:09

I would second having the talk early, as rather safe than sorry. I was only 9 myself and hadn't been told anything. I was scared to death.
Its true that it can be a while after hormones have started showing, but for mr there were none of the usual signs.
My dd has just started saying her boobs are sore and painful, has developed puppy fat a very small bust growth, broad shoulders and is also crying for nothing. She is 9.2

FrameyMcFrame · 13/03/2013 17:10

:)
You've got so many delights to come!

In my expirience, parenting gets easier as they get older then it gets harder again!!!

WileyRoadRunner · 13/03/2013 17:10

Sorry Sasha that is my just 8 year old not the OP's DD - I just rudely hijacked her thread

valiumredhead · 13/03/2013 17:10

Many of my friends' dds have started their periods and they are 9/10.

MissMogwi · 13/03/2013 17:11

I had a moment with my nearly nine yr old DD recently. She was going for a shower and showed me a non existent mark under her arm. I noticed that she smelled of BO, not just sweaty little girl.

She is a sensitive soul anyway but the moods have increased. She told me this morning that her 'boobies' were hurting too. Arrgh.

She's my youngest and very young for her age IYSWIM. I don't know if I'm able for two girls going through puberty.

wigglesrock · 13/03/2013 17:11

My daughter (7) dropped sex into the conversation before Christmas, so that's why I took the bull by the horns, had a chat to her and her sister which went well and then I ran into the garden for a sneaky smoke. I now feel really glad I did it. I don't feel that I've encouraged them to grow up too quickly or any of that nonsense. I've just equipped them for the next bit of getting older.

Their primary school does "the talk" but not until P7 (10ish)

showtunesgirl · 13/03/2013 17:12

Wiley my parents never gave me a talk. They just left a copy of The Body Book out for us and let us read that. Job done!

SashaSashays · 13/03/2013 17:13

Wiley, I just amazoned and look there are loads

I think we had mummy laid an egg but it never got much use after DS1. the older dc always take great delight in informing the younger ones of 'the sex'.

MyFace · 13/03/2013 17:15

This thread has made me chuckle (in a hysterical kinda way), DD (nearly 10) is going through 'weird' mood swings at the moment too. She's very argumentative/and crying one second and an angel the next. She also provokes DS no end, to the point where he has to sometimes go out and play just to be out of her way!

I do sympathise with her, but I feel sorry for myself more . Didn't realise teenagerdoom was going to start this early!

WileyRoadRunner · 13/03/2013 17:15

Thanks sasha I will try and look for an appropriate one - don't want to terrify her when she is living in blissful ignorance!

Bunbaker · 13/03/2013 17:19

A lot of early starters on here. Nature plays cruel tricks on us. It is so unfair that girls have to deal with periods as young as 9. They aren't emotionally mature enough for a start, plus there are the practicalities of dealing with them at primary school

I started at 13 and DD is 12 and there is no sign yet. I hope it won't be soon either.

Mumsyblouse · 13/03/2013 17:25

I was panicking a bit about this recently, so read some research which suggested that girls hit the hormonal phase much earlier than they used to (in terms of hormones, hair, breast growth) but that their periods don't start much earlier. So, that's why we notice the underarm smell etc but doesn't mean for everyone that they start their periods very soon afterwards, though of course a few do. It's just more teenage stropping at an earlier age!

SashaSashays · 13/03/2013 17:28

She might not be as ignorant as you think. I imagine that it will just piece bits together, fill in some missing parts and dispel a few myths she's heard.

One of my DC knew everything very early on, I was well impressed how accurate the playground talk was. Until he explained "the daddy leaves his willy in the mummy's bumhole overnight, and then the seeds flow into her bum"

Daddy would be bloody lucky to get that kind of treatment!

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