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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that this man clearly doesn't like or respect women too much at all?

49 replies

blueballoon79 · 11/03/2013 02:45

I was talking to a male acquaintance about cheating and why people do it. What started as a normal conversation turned into him stating that "It's easier for women to cheat as they've got a hole" and "Of course women are more likely to cheat, they have vaginas"

I don't know if it's just me being incredibly uptight but I found his comments deeply offensive and get the feeling that he can't be too keen on women at all?

I had to cut the conversation as it was annoying and upsetting me so much.

OP posts:
ripsishere · 11/03/2013 02:48

How extraordinary. how does that work then?

ScumbagCollegeDropout · 11/03/2013 02:58

Wtf? There are no words...

Except maybe 'He's a stupid twunt'.

GoshAnneGorilla · 11/03/2013 03:22

Eeeeeeee. No he is obviously not fond of women. But still probably has sex with them and wishes to have relationships with then. Depressing.

Original poster
blueballoon79 · 11/03/2013 03:25

Yes, he still has sex with them and has relationships but is well known for being very jealous and untrusting!

ripsishere I have no idea how that works!

Scumbag, yes that's what went through my mind when he was saying it!

OP posts:
MidnightMasquerader · 11/03/2013 03:43

I don't understand what he is trying to say. Confused

Why does having a 'hole' mean it's easier to cheat...?

Original poster
blueballoon79 · 11/03/2013 04:18

I did ask him what he meant by that and he said that most men will just fuck anything with a hole.

I think he pretty much contradicted himself there!

OP posts:
HillBilly76 · 11/03/2013 04:43

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

ripsishere · 11/03/2013 04:49

What a lovely turn of phrase he has too. I'll bet he's beating women off with a shitty stick.

Toadinthehole · 11/03/2013 05:25

What he means is that women can cheat more easily (should they choose to do so) because men are more inclined to do so.

That may or may not be so, but it doesn't strike me as an odd view.

And while he's expressed himself in a somewhat colourful way, why get upset?

SissySpacekAteMyHamster · 11/03/2013 05:31

Do you think he was just trying to wind you up? If he really believes the crap he is spouting, well he is definitely a twunt of the highest order.

Original poster
blueballoon79 · 11/03/2013 07:21

Toadinthehole it was the line "of course women are more likely to cheat, they have vaginas", he's basically saying if you own a vagina you're more likely to cheat.

Sissy, No, he wasn't trying to wind me up, he was being deadly serious, and yes I agree he's a twunt!

OP posts:
MrsBucketxx · 11/03/2013 07:23

I would have responded with a laugh, sounds like a crazy type.

just dont ever date him.

HappyJustToBe · 11/03/2013 07:29

Sounds remarkably like the man who wanted to high five ny husband as I had an EMCS so hadn't been left a husk of a woman. Maybe we move in the same circles? I'm hoping so rather than there being two of these delightful creatures.

MidnightMasquerader · 11/03/2013 07:42

So, because men are (in his mind) basically unrelentingly sluttish and will rut anything that moves ... women are more likely to cheat.

Wow. Grin That is some logic. I wouldn't fancy sending too much time in his head...

Original poster
blueballoon79 · 11/03/2013 07:45

Happyjusttobe Sad

That's awful! I had an EMCS and would have lost the plot if someone had said that about me!

OP posts:
HeadFairy · 11/03/2013 07:47

What a strange thing to say, it's like saying because he has a dick he's more likely to be a rapist... oh wait....

he's a cock. Avoid.

Original poster
blueballoon79 · 11/03/2013 07:47

Midnight When he said all men will fuck anything with a hole, I replied "All men including you?" and he said that no, he wouldn't, but other men do.

Right then Hmm

OP posts:
MrsWolowitz · 11/03/2013 07:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

flow4 · 11/03/2013 07:59

Well, of course that is a problem... The trouble with 'having a hole' is that poor unsuspecting men can be wandering along minding their own business, when they just suddenly sort of fall in. Hmm

What a dick!

Original poster
blueballoon79 · 11/03/2013 08:39

*flow4" the imagery that put into my head really made me laugh!

OP posts:
LessMissAbs · 11/03/2013 08:43

Anyone who uses language like that (degrading) I would not consider suitable friend material. I see you describe him as an acquaintance anyway.

To me it suggests that he is rationalising cheating by breaking down women into their bases component parts, and possibly justifying (his own?) guilt in doing so, and also trying to blame them rather than the man (himself?).

I'd say he had cheated.

To me, its almost as cruel as saying men who cheat are men who don't have the capabilities or courage to get a woman they love enough to stay with them.

Original poster
blueballoon79 · 11/03/2013 08:56

I think that's what actually offended me the most, the degrading language and that fact he was talking about women merely as sexual organs!

He's someone I know from my local pub.

Another thing he frequently does, is when a group of young women come in to the pub, he'll refer to them as a group of sluts?

I always call him on this and ask him why he feels the need to refer to women in such derogotary language, but he'll just shrug it off.

OP posts:
LessMissAbs · 11/03/2013 09:00

I wouldn't put up with someone using that sort of language when I was speaking to him. I suggest you ask him if he uses it as a cover up for his guilt, or alternatively if he is projecting because he isn't getting any satisfaction (in the words of the song) and trying to better his chances in his own mind, when he has no hope.

Basically, it makes him sound like a total prat. why do you speak to him?

HeadFairy · 11/03/2013 09:02

Blueballoon I'd be very tempted to start referring to every group of men as a group of rapists. Not very mature but if he felt offended he might start to see the point.

Original poster
blueballoon79 · 11/03/2013 09:05

He starts speaking to me and I just talk back but then inevitably he'll make some disgusting remark about women and I'll stop talking to him.

When I next see him he'll say he's sorry that he offended me and that he was only joking Hmm and it was just the drink talking, then he'll start all over again!

HeadFairy that is quite tempting and it would be a good way of getting across how offensive he is being!

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