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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want my DC's friends visiting on weekend mornings unannounced?

126 replies

Dragonwoman · 10/03/2013 17:18

This morning, like many weekend mornings my doorbell went at 10.30 & next thing I knew I had 2 extra 8 year olds in my house.
I called DD1 upstairs & told her to tell them to leave. She knows I don't like people round when I'm not dressed. She thinks I'm being mean & DH also thinks I'm being a bit odd. In the end DD1 went out to the friends house instead.

Am I really that odd, bearing in mind that -

  1. I work all week, so don't get much time in the house during the day.

  2. I sleep in the raw, so does DH & we often nip across the landing in the nude to the bathroom. We don't have an ensuite. I don't want to come across other peoples kids when I'm in the nip thank-you!

  3. We live on an estate & kids are calling all the time - if I don't put my foot down I will have extra kids all day every day weekends & holidays.

  4. One of my DC will invariably wander into my room for something & then leave the door wide open. I don't want randoms on the landing who can see me lying in bed!

  5. While other people may be up & dressed earlier than 10.30, in my own house on a day off I don't want to!

If it was a pre-arranged visit for something special of course I would get dressed, but as it is I think I am entitled to some privacy in my own home.

OP posts:
mrsjay · 10/03/2013 17:20

I would tell them your dd isn't coming out to play why are YOU letting them in anyway send them home or say come back after lunchtime. they are 8 it is ok to sen d them away

MrsTomHardy · 10/03/2013 17:23

YANBU
I would stop this immediately....I hate having other kids in my house unless I say so....
Like you I work all week and I love my weekends lazing around.

Indith · 10/03/2013 17:23

maybe at 10.30 your dc want to play if you ate still nekkid and in bed.

Original poster
Dragonwoman · 10/03/2013 17:23

I don't let them in, my DD does. Often unknown to me. When I become aware they are there I send them away, but it really bugs me to have to get up & talk to other peoples DCs while in my dressing gown.

OP posts:
Original poster
Dragonwoman · 10/03/2013 17:25

My DC can play with each other surely - they see these friends at school & all the rest of the weekend. If they played out it would be OK, but at this time of year they don't want to.

OP posts:
CocacolaMum · 10/03/2013 17:26

you let your 8 yr old open the door while you are in bed?!

MrsTomHardy · 10/03/2013 17:27

My Ds's are slightly older but never invite people in unless they ask me first, they know I would go nuts Grin

livinginwonderland · 10/03/2013 17:27

surely they can just play outside or downstairs?

Goldmandra · 10/03/2013 17:27

YANBU in that your DD can play outside with her friends. My DD is allowed friends in but mostly expects and is expected to play outside with them.

She also has to ask permission before inviting other children into the house and i insist that they have cleared it with their parents too.

It is her home too so YWBU to never allow her to bring friends in so perhaps you could suggest a more appropriate time for her to invite them round.

CalamityKate · 10/03/2013 17:28

Bear in mind that the mum of the friend whose house you sent your DD to will probably be posting exactly the same shortly :)

Original poster
Dragonwoman · 10/03/2013 17:30

Then the mum of the friend shouldn't have let her daughter out to knock on other people's doors!

OP posts:
HarrietSchulenberg · 10/03/2013 17:31

If you don't like it then tell your dd that she is not allowed to let other people into the house. Remind her at bedtime on Friday night if you are not likely to see her before the callers start coming in the morning. And hide the door keys so she can't let them in. Although 10.30 isn't really an unreasonable time for children to be calling.

Original poster
Dragonwoman · 10/03/2013 17:31

I don't see what's wrong with an 8 yr old answering the door. She won't if it isn't a friend - you can see through the window who it is. I just don't want her inviting kids in - she can answer & tell them to come back later.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 10/03/2013 17:32

An 8 year old should not be up on her own answering the door.

MarianForrester · 10/03/2013 17:32

YABU. It's nice that she has friends to play with; 10.30 is not early; you don't need to play with them so can relax over a coffee and the paper and enjoy the weekend.

Sirzy · 10/03/2013 17:33

Just a minute you let your 8 year old open the door and let people in and you only realise this AFTER people are in your house?

EmmelineGoulden · 10/03/2013 17:36

It is your house, but it's her home too and 10:30 isn't an unreasonable time to be calling round. I don't know that YABU, but I think it's a bit rotten for your daughter that she has nowhere to entertain her friends. Could you have a "downstairs only" rule?

Timetoask · 10/03/2013 17:38

I think you're being a little lazy staying naked in bed until 10:30 when you have children.
I also think it is really lovely that your dd has friends that like her enough to come and play with her, what a lucky girl. Many chi,dren struggle with friendship.

Original poster
Dragonwoman · 10/03/2013 17:39

No 10.30 is not early, but I don't want random children in my house from morning til night. I don't get the problem with the door answering - I can tell when the DCs come in - I can hear them. My bedroom is above the front door.

We live on a busy estate & kids knock constantly. If I answered myself every time I would never be able to cook a meal, shower, see to my younger DCs or go to the loo.

OP posts:
ThePathanKhansAmnesiac · 10/03/2013 17:40

Wow, I suppose it's horses for courses and all that.
When I was growing up, my siblings friends and mine, were constantly in and out.There was always someone extra for dinner. I love it when I meet someone from my childhood and they say how much they loved it in our house even if it was chaos at times.
Maybe if you mention it too your dd friend while they,re both together, something like I really need a good rest at weekends, so why don,t you girls arrange to meet later on Saturdays/Sundays?.

Original poster
Dragonwoman · 10/03/2013 17:41

I'm not ignoring my own DCs - we get them breakfast & they come into our room & chat, play etc
Doesn't anyone else have lazy sunday mornings?

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 10/03/2013 17:42

She's being lazy when she's been working all week, Timetoask? Surely it's her right to have a lie in if she wants to? All she's asking is that other people's children are not roaming around her house. Is that too much to ask?

5madthings · 10/03/2013 17:42

She should know not to let them in without asking you if its OK first.

MayTheOddsBeEverInYourFavour · 10/03/2013 17:44

YANBU

and I think it's fine for an 8 year old to be up when you're in bed, but I wouldn't let them answer the door at that age unless I was up and about too

Original poster
Dragonwoman · 10/03/2013 17:48

Well - I'm not asleep at that time - I am aware that the door has been answered & can hear what's going on, so I don't think its unsafe - just annoying.
I tend to be sitting in bed chatting with DCs, reading or eating toast.

Heaven forbid I should not be up, showered & dressed early on a sunday!

OP posts: