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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To compalin to school about costs of dressing up days?

107 replies

NaughtyBetty · 05/03/2013 16:51

DD is in year 3 and so far this year they have had 6 dressing up days, that's 1 a month & if the children don't dress up they need to go in in school uniform. It's not always as simple as cutting up a sheet or buying bits from a charity shop, it usually works out as about £10 a 'dress up'.

We are really struggling financially and DD gets FSM, final straw was today when she is expected to pay £12 for a school trip.

I wonder what they have done with their pupil premium for FSM children? AIBU to complain, it's just getting really expensive!

OP posts:
MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 05/03/2013 16:53

What themes have they had that you need a tenner a time?

If you can't afford it then send your dc in uniform, they are optional.

Original poster
NaughtyBetty · 05/03/2013 16:55

None of the other children go in in uniform, she would be the only one, it would be embarrassing for her, especially because her family haven't forgotten, they just can't afford it.

OP posts:
Kendodd · 05/03/2013 16:55

And do they change £1 per time? Mine does, x3 for me BTW.

Original poster
NaughtyBetty · 05/03/2013 16:56

Yes they do charge, I think it was £2 on neon friday.

OP posts:
cakebar · 05/03/2013 16:56

YANBU that is too many. I would let school know it was a bit much and send DC in home clothes with a token prop.

Original poster
NaughtyBetty · 05/03/2013 16:58

On neon Friday I just got some wrist bands and hairbands, that came to about £6 then £2 for the privilege... Pretty much all the other kids where clothed in full neon.

OP posts:
HollyBerryBush · 05/03/2013 17:00

I get annoyed with 'mufti' days.

DS2 = £1 to wear own clothes, £1 fine if you don't

DS3 - £1 to wear own clothes, or wear uniform and stick out like a sore thumb, OR a day in the seclusion unit if you wear your own clothes, don't pay your £1 as you aren't in uniform

It pisses me right off.

Kendodd · 05/03/2013 17:04

*DS2 = £1 to wear own clothes, £1 fine if you don't

DS3 - £1 to wear own clothes, or wear uniform and stick out like a sore thumb, OR a day in the seclusion unit if you wear your own clothes, don't pay your £1 as you aren't in uniform

It pisses me right off.*

How is that enforceable! I would complain, that is so, not on.

ChocHobNob · 05/03/2013 17:07

If it was just generic "dress up days" could she not have worn the same dress up costume each time?

My children's school recognise how hard it is on the parents and ask for children to dress up if they want but tell parents not to go out and buy anything new. An old dress up costume is fine or just non uniform. We also don't have to pay to dress up.

I wouldn't buy something new each time.

Original poster
NaughtyBetty · 05/03/2013 17:08

Chochobnob - no different themes each time, we had a Roman theme, Victorian theme and an animal of choice theme to name a few

OP posts:
havingamadmoment · 05/03/2013 17:09

my ds has a captain hook costume he wears it for almost all dress up days. I can normally fit captain hook into the requirement even if it is a bit of a stretch. I think you are over thinking it.

Original poster
NaughtyBetty · 05/03/2013 17:10

DD isn't really bothered about the dressing up days, although she wouldn't want to be the only one in uniform

OP posts:
Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme · 05/03/2013 17:11

OR a day in the seclusion unit if you wear your own clothes

Seriously?

I'd be having words at school. They could try and put me in the seclusion unit if they like. Do your kids attend prison school? Sheesh.

havingamadmoment · 05/03/2013 17:11

roman theme - captain hook trousers + bed sheet
victorian theme - captain hook trousers and tunic without pirate accessories
animal of choice - well ok this doesn't fit the captain hook theme. I would have sent him in a wooly jumper with some ears on a hairband and called him a cat.

ChocHobNob · 05/03/2013 17:12

In the future, could you maybe send her in particular coloured normal clothes with face paint? Or a mask etc? To save a bit of money.

I've been seeing lots of people saying their schools have specified what is and isn't allowed for World Book Day and expecting parents to go out and buy a new costume is unfair. Some schools are not thinking how difficult it is on parents. Especially with more than one child at a school!

HollyBerryBush · 05/03/2013 17:12

Yes seriously - I complain about it every time - but I will have a larger and louder voice as a parent this year.

I suppose its buggering red nose extortion day shortly.

KatAndKit · 05/03/2013 17:13

payment is voluntary for trips during school time. Send back the consent form and explain that you can't afford it - if your kids are on free dinners then they may have a fund specifically to cover this sort of thing. If not, they can't exclude them from the trip if you don't pay. They can cancel the trip if not enough people pay though so I wouldn't recommend this as a regular course of action.

KatAndKit · 05/03/2013 17:15

Also payment for non uniform days is a charity donation and it is not compulsory to donate to charity. It doesn't set the best example if you tell them never to pay.

MrsLouisTheroux · 05/03/2013 17:17

Normal clothes with a twist. Victorian day: black t shirt leggings + sheet made into apron. Animal: brown clothes and ears ( dog) Roman theme: t shirt, leggings + tin foil body armour. £10 is just silly.

specialsubject · 05/03/2013 17:33

get in touch with the governors and tell them that you want your children educated. You'll arrange the fancy dress parties in your own time.

this is ridiculous, and sends all the wrong signals. The school should keep a box of hats etc and do it that way.

nickelbabe · 05/03/2013 17:38

You have to complain - if you're on FSM, it's because you can't afford extra stuff.

and you aren't obliged to pay the £12 for the trip either - the charge for those is supposed to be voluntary.

You shouldn't be forced to pay out extra for stuff when you can't afford it - 2 a year should be enough, but 6 already and it's only February?! ShockAngry
that's just wrong.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 05/03/2013 17:46

I never seem to have the right "ordinary" clothes though, funniiy enough DS does not wear leggings normally. I have ended up buying black leggings, plain brown tee shirts, plain white tee shirts, which do get re-used, but still having to root round charity shops for hats etc, then make beards, hats etc too. I wouldn't mind if the DCs showed any interest, but they don't.

Hoaz · 05/03/2013 17:58

I find dress up days annoying because of the faff,, but I have never spent anything like 10 pounds on a costume. I tell DC what we have and they choose something from that. If they're not bothered why does it matter if they go in uniform? At our school the charity donation is sometimes asked for, but there is no check as to who's paid it not.

MammaMedusa · 05/03/2013 18:02

As she is a DD you could do what I have done which is get in a load of hair ribbons in all the colours likely to come up.

Wear something blue day - blue spotty ribbons
Wear something spotty day - blue spotty ribbons
Bastille day - blue spotty ribbons (spot the theme) with white ribbons and red ribbons

etc.

Also do lots of borrowing / lending between other parents. Got DS a cheap waistcoat at a charity shop and it has been to at least six Victorian days - not all at the same school either!

WilsonFrickett · 05/03/2013 18:02

YANBU and you should complain. There is a family at my school with 4 DCs in the school, so imagine how much it's costing them! Although I wouldn't be spending £10 a pop either, face paint and ordinary clothes for me.

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