To compalin to school about costs of dressing up days?

[NaughtyBetty]

DD is in year 3 and so far this year they have had 6 dressing up days, that's 1 a month & if the children don't dress up they need to go in in school uniform. It's not always as simple as cutting up a sheet or buying bits from a charity shop, it usually works out as about £10 a 'dress up'.

We are really struggling financially and DD gets FSM, final straw was today when she is expected to pay £12 for a school trip.

I wonder what they have done with their pupil premium for FSM children? AIBU to complain, it's just getting really expensive!

[Tanith]

They had a Travel theme dressing up day at one of the schools we drop off to.
One of the kids was dressed in full historic flying costume - looked very impressive. A little boy near him was wearing a baseball cap with the Red Arrows on it.

DH heard the first boy sneer "That's rubbish! It doesn't look like a pilot!"
"Oh yes, he does!" DH said, "Haven't you seen the Red Arrows? They always wear their caps like that."

He got a big smile from Boy 2

I did wonder how many children are made to feel their costumes aren't good enough by their peers, though. Seems like an invitation for bullying.

[sarahtigh]

told on monday about WBD my DD is 3 so previously I had no idea, next year I will be aware, so that leaves tuesday/wednesday to sort it, I work so no time to go to charity shop or ebay it as will not arrive , I also do not have the time to do something creative in 2 nights,

I would not use a bed sheet to get trampled on by DD a double bed sheet would drown a three year old also her sheets are fitted and of course I do not want my sheets getting covered in paint etc that is what her normal nursery clothes are for, neither to I want her really nice dresses getting knocked about, it is just a complete PITA

at same time we were told about comic relief dress in red that's fine 10 days notice I can deal with that easy also told about easter bonnets on 26th so 3 weeks notice that is fine too as can be made slowly with DD with cardboard and paint and pretty paper

there are 4 many problems with these

1. cost
   
2. time I think 2-3 weeks (not days)notice should be given as a minimum
   
3. frequency more than 1 a term is excessive
   
4. very restrictive themes in some cases

[Iggly]

I knew WBD was coming up but preschool didnt tell anyone until Monday

Luckily ds has dressing up stuff and is insisting he wants to be spiderman despite the lack of a spiderman book. He's seen spiderman books though so again, at the grand old age of 3, is insisting that he can go as spiderman.

I work 4 day a week - I don't have loads of time to come up with ideas so will end up wasting money on buying something instead. However when ds goes to school I'll be putting my foot down and complain if there are too many such days.

[TomArchersSausage]

It's complete madness, but parents are expected to go along with whatever missive gets sent home in the bookbag because they know people won't be comfortable in saying no, esp where their dc are concerned. Not many would want their child to be the only one that is not wearing whatever they're supposed to on dress up day so it's purely emotional blackmail.

Who would feel comfortable going into school and saying 'Oi enough! Just stop this malarky and stick to the point' ? I can just imagine the tumbleweed moment as you're quietly marked down as 'That parent who won't co-operate'.

I suspect all this fancy dress is just a load of hoo haa to look like more is going on regarding the teaching of a topic than actually is.

[WilsonFrickett]

What some (not all), of those who love this stuff don't seem to realise is that if you are not a creative type, it's like being tone deaf or colour blind or something.

Completely agree with this. I hate fancy dress, thanks to years of my DM not bothering about it and having no skills myself in this area. I also think that sometimes the cultural references are a bit...skewed. Someone upthread is talking about dress like a Victorian day - my Somalian friends with very little English and very, very little money at DS last school, where are they supposed to start with something like that?

[DaveMccave]

Yes v annoying. I wouldn't mind if we had advanced warning. In fact dress like a superhero day last week (sandwiched between two non uniform days) would have been fun to make our own costume for dd. they only gave us the letter however the afternoon before! Luckily I managed to borrow one, or it would have cost me 15 pounds. Completely missing the point when we have no notice to make anything.

They have to wear pyjamas tomorrow. In March! Really it's ridiculous. I'm not looking forward to walking to school with the kids I take dressed in pj's.

[TomArchersSausage]

Oh god PJ days are ridiculous. It's freezing cold so they have to wear clothes under the pyjamas and that not only looks absurd but is all stuffed up and uncomfortable.

I have a fight to explain for the umpty-ninth time that slippers aren't up to the rigours of a schoolday esp if it's wet (it always is).

And tbh dc's night attire is a bit of a mixed bag of ok-ish and downright So I usually have to buy new pjs just for the dress up day. Then you have to pay for the priviledge of doing it.

[ThatBintAgain]

Oh Christ, YANBU.

My children's school are dressing up TWO WEEKS RUNNING. Book week this week, red nose theme next week. DC1's outfits have been handed down to DC2, but have just had to spend £15 on two costumes from a supermarket and one of them is shite. Am not happy - I don't see why they couldn't have just gone in non uniform and worn a red nose next week. AND then I need to send in a donation as well, it's just one thing after another and shows no consideration.

[DaveMccave]

Yes, I went out an bought her a fleece onesie for 7 quid especially. Thought at least she could use it for camping in the summer but I don't think it will fit by then. And I thought it would fit her normal clothes underneath, it's really thin and close fitting though ffs! May send her in normal clothes with this to change into. I was really looking forward to book characters too, we'd got a character costume early for a change and then they spring another last minute letter.

[WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes]

At our school they do PJ afternoons once or twice a year for a class at a time when they collectively score enough points on some sort of reward system. They take their PJs in in a bag and change after lunch and then to go home again, that is a much better system.

Red Nose Day they have just said wear Red, luckily DS has a red onesie and DD has her old Rainbows trousers and hoody which still fit. It's WBD that annoys me above all others.

[Itsnotahoover]

favourite character from a Roald Dahl book (because I just have one of those lying around!), plus £1 to pay for the privilege of having to buy new clothes (£12 in total as couldn't beg borrow or steal from anyone)

Twits - scruffy hair, scruffy/stained clothes. DONE. Free!

Except the twits terrify him for some reason!!

[WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes]

We've never read the Twits, I loved many Roald Dahl books myself as a child but had never heard of that one till fairly recently. I haven't enjoyed reading them with the DCs as much as I thought I would, sadly, and the DCs haven't been all that bothered either, not sure if we've ever actually finished one.

[JugglingFromHereToThere]

I'm shocked at talk of "fines" and "seclusion units" for DC's not taking part.

Some schools don't even seem to have an elementary understanding of inclusion.

Ofsted should ask about what provision is made for those not taking part on dress up days.
It's only a good thing to be doing if the children are having a positive experience, and that should include everyone.
Schools should provide more support and definitely more understanding.

[Miggsie]

It is the time that gets me with all the dress up days, I can't be scouring charity chops while working and being disabled I have limited mobility anyway and DH works as well, inthe end the best costumes are always worn by children with stay at home mums with the time to sort this stuff and the best costume is always won by the child with a SAHM who likes to sew and obviously has spent days and days making a caterpillar costume.

Even DD told me she wasn't going to bother any more when she was 6.

[differentnameforthis]

Itsnotahoover

Poor lad, my suggestion is hopeless then! :(

[aldiwhore]

What some (not all), of those who love this stuff don't seem to realise is that if you are not a creative type, it's like being tone deaf or colour blind or something. I literally look blankly at a WBD invite and would be unable to think of anything, let alone how to make it if I did come up with something. We aren't being lazy, it's just outside our ken.

^ Totally understand that, I am crafty, creative and LOVE spending my evenings sewing sheets into various constumes, I have the natural ability to see how something could be used for something completely different.

But show me my son's maths homework, that has to be done with a lot of parental input and I glaze over, I really can't think beyond the floating numbers on the page, let alone extract any meaning from it!

I think that some schools have gone dress up crazy so I'm not disagreeing, but I do think the ocassional dress up day isn't a bad thing at all. (One a year!)

[Arcticwaffle]

We've always found dressign up days easy, as my dc love making costumes out of old boxes etc, but we've been stymied by this year's Red nose day - come in pyjamas and dressing gown. DD (8) was a bit horrified at going in her manky old too-young Hello Kitty dressing gown and shabby pyjamas. Her nightwear is perfectly fine for bed, or youth group camping trips, but doesn't stand up to a daytime school scrutiny.

So we've gone out and bought a £14 onesie. Dd is happy, she'll be on trend. But I think really that's not quite the aim of Red Nose Day.

[Fluffy1234]

We managed to come up with an outfit for each occasion using a combo of white sheet, large white shirt and a pair of black pedal pusher type trousers. My DS's looked fine and I never spent a penny. There was always a couple of kids that looked amazing, a few wore there usual weekend type clothes and my boys were in the middle.

[WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes]

I'd far rather do the maths homework Aldi - I love it.

There, I have just finished being creative. I can crochet (I lack imagination rather than skill in the craft department) and I make little animals for the DCs. DD needed some ears and a tail so I bought a massive crochet hook and used the animal patterns to create scaled up ears and tail in very little time with some old brown wool.

[nailak]

you might not be good at everything your kids need to do, but you learn how to support them, you learn what phonics is about or whatever maths scheme they use is about, you google it.

I am rubbish at arts and crafts.

[Owllady]

I don't mind doing the roman/greek days or world book day as you can usually knock something up with stuff you have around the house but I agree some of the other stuff begins to get too expensive. I have three at three different schools too, which proves a bloody nightmare

[lainiekazan]

One of my favourites was when ds came home with a note bearing "Please send your child in dressed in a costume from their favourite African nation".

It was the favourite bit that got me. So even if you managed to construct an excellent authentic Zambian costume, it might not be any good because, actually, your dc's preferred nation was Malawi.

[Doyouthinktheysaurus]

I hate, hate, hate dress up days! Ds1 is 10, has to dress up as a Roald Dahl character. That's fine actually, he'll be charlie bucket in his brothers too small clothes and I've just made a golden ticket and wonka bar they look shit though

Ds2 though has to be a Harry Potter Character They don't do dress up out of school, never have so I've had to buy an outfit! I bought a harry potter thing with robe, glasses, wand that they aren't allowed to take! Now he just wants to be a random Gryffindor student, not Harry Potter anyway so the glasses won't get used either

I don't have a sewing machine or dark sheets so by the time I'd bought material for a robe and sewed it together I would have lost the will to live and spent more than the ready made outfit cost.

I work nights too, just finished this morning and WBD is tommorrow so I'm knackered and having to sort out this crap!

[WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes]

Well, I agree that you need to support all the things your kids do, but it doesn't necessarily stop you finding some aspects tedious and difficult. I haven't breathed a word of complaint about any of this in front of the DCs, that's the great thing about MN, somewhere to let off steam away from them.

[TheDoctrineOfSnatch]

If DS1 brought home an art project, I'd happily google it. Plus he'd be doing it and we'd be helping. If school sent home a "Parents! Write a story/paint a picture/prove Fermat's last theorem and send it in on a piece of A4 on Monday", I wouldn't. Making costumes feels like homework for parents.

Luckily my school is sane and only does WBD, nativity play and colour day, and I just hit eBay, but I am feeling the fear just reading other people's situations.