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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To find it disgusting so many people still think it's acceptable to use the 'R' word to describe someone who's done something stupid?

216 replies

TangoPurple · 03/03/2013 18:46

Bit of a rant! I told my friend this afternoon that i think it's terrible so many people still use the word 'retard' in every day conversation, as well as other offensive, disabilist terms.

She shrugged it off saying that people don't mean it offensively, it's just a phrase our parents used and passed on to us. She admitted that she used to say it all the time, but decided to stop after realising dd has autism, as she didn't want to upset me.

So, after she left, i took to my Facebook for another rant. A lot of people (who i have now deleted) echoed what my friend had said. They said it's just 'banter' and they call their friends it all the time. It's just another way of saying idiot etc.

One came along and actually cut and pasted the definition of retarded. 'Something that is slow or stunted. e.g. the car was retarded, due to its faulty mechanics.'

He therefore felt he had justified his frequent usage of the term in everyday conversation.

I just find it terribly upsetting that this is still considered acceptable. Don't want to break any rules by mentioning this, but someone had said it earlier today on here. A parent. On a parenting forum. It's horrendous.

My gorgeous 5yo has been called retarded before. We were on a double decker bus once, up the top, and she was stimming (flapping her arms) and humming because she was excited. A bunch of teens up the back called down, "Missus - is your kid reatrded or what?' and then called 'bye, window licker' as we left.

So, for someone then to tell me this is NOT a derogatory term is astounding.

Not sure of the point of this thread tbh. Probably another rant. I'm certain i'm not being unreasonable.

Please, please, please - if you are guilty of using this word, stop it. Your children will hear it and then think it's okay to use. And they may end up like those horrible children on the back of that bus my daughter and i had to endure.

OP posts:
akaemmafrost · 03/03/2013 23:17

This reply has been deleted

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ClippedPhoenix · 03/03/2013 23:19

I come on here now and again for multiple reasons and yes a few drinks is one of them, I could be PMT, I could just be bored, I could be looking for a solution to something. That's the beauty of the internet and these sites.

However, I'm very rarely judgemental nor do I get my knickers in a twist.

WorraLiberty · 03/03/2013 23:22

However, I'm very rarely judgemental nor do I get my knickers in a twist.

What the actual fuck?? Grin Grin

Rarely judgemental?

Do you want to remind us again about your views on WOHMs 'farming their kids out'?

I think I hit the nail on the head with the drink...though MrsDeVere doesn't sound far off too with attention seeking.

ClippedPhoenix · 03/03/2013 23:24

No, I don't look for anything really, I give an opinion, that maybe not to peoples liking but there again I have a right to have one. I don't put myself in a "group" and I don't need to be liked. I don't need to be agreed with either. The amount of vitriol that comes out of peoples fingers on here is another thing.

ClippedPhoenix · 03/03/2013 23:26

I also don't see a need to "look people up" on here either worra.

ClippedPhoenix · 03/03/2013 23:27

As for that thread I personally think the best person to look after your child is YOU.

WorraLiberty · 03/03/2013 23:28

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ClippedPhoenix · 03/03/2013 23:29

I also don't do personal insults. I do general opinions unless someone is actually aiming something directly at me on a thread, then I feel it's my right to fire something back.

ClippedPhoenix · 03/03/2013 23:30

It's your choice to have any opinion you like about me worra really it is.

MrsDeVere · 03/03/2013 23:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorraLiberty · 03/03/2013 23:31

Well yes, talk about state the obvious?

thornrose · 03/03/2013 23:36

And my question " do you genuinely not care when a parent of an autistic child expresses despair"? Does that really not affect you? At all? Doesn't that worry you?

ClippedPhoenix · 03/03/2013 23:39

You don't bother me in the slightest. I know what's coming being on here for quite a while now. However, i have seen a fair few become really upset by you and it's really not on.

ClippedPhoenix · 03/03/2013 23:43

I was talking about a "word" and people getting so frenzied about them.

ClippedPhoenix · 03/03/2013 23:45

"fire something back" is again a phrase DeVere.

thornrose · 03/03/2013 23:47

Forget that, hasn't there ever been anything in your life you feel passionately opposed to? Racism, sexism, anything, that can be represented by a word?

ClippedPhoenix · 03/03/2013 23:53

Not really to be honest thornrose. An act of unkindness etc. would but an old word or phrase doesn't. I usually think that they probably don't quite know what they're saying. I also don't think it's ignorance or a lack of intellegence either. As I said, everyone is just so "polically" correct and offended these days it's quite sad in itself.

ClippedPhoenix · 03/03/2013 23:55

Politically, by the way.

thornrose · 03/03/2013 23:57

Agh, your not getting it. It's not political correctness. Example, I have a mixed race dd, her dad was Jamaican. She is also autistic. There are so many derogatory words that can be thrown at us, and they have. Words DO hurt, why don't you get that? I wonder what age you are?

thornrose · 03/03/2013 23:58

You're obv!

LadyBeagleEyes · 04/03/2013 00:04

I hate it, it makes me cringe, but as long as it's used as a common insult as it is in the US, then our kids are going to be influenced by it, there is so much US telly around.
I'm not sure how we get round that really.

ClippedPhoenix · 04/03/2013 00:05

Let's just say I'm old enough to have heard them all and not let them affect me to point they affect people now a days. I do get why the OP was upset but what I don't like is this making a word so inflamatory that it becomes ridiculous. There will be another one along soon so getting it out of proportion is a bit mad really.

thornrose · 04/03/2013 00:10

So they could've affected you? Which ones, out of interest.

ClippedPhoenix · 04/03/2013 00:11

To be honest I'm far more concerned about the amount of belittling that goes on here by a handful of rather awful people who band together. I personally am not bothered in the slightest but I have seen others crumble in the name of intellegence and whit.

ClippedPhoenix · 04/03/2013 00:13

If I told you I'd have to kill you...

Only joking thorn.

I can't remember, that's how unaffected I've been.