SIL Lunch nonsense, warning VERY trivial

[monkeynuts123]

Ok SIL is a pain in the arse, being tricky and controlling with everything. She has had lunch with us many times and knows the children eat lunch at 12.00 - 12.30, being very early risers and are starving by lunchtime and cannot wait a minute more. She knows this, this is something we all laugh about. She has made lots comments in past that we should generally feed kids before us so we can 'relax and eat' but we LIKE to eat with our kids as a family and they won't sit at teh table without food and are unlikely to play peacefully while we eat and enjoy adult time (being 11 months and 3 years).

Today for lunch she invites us for 1.00pm. I txt saying can we please make it lunch for 12.30 as kids crawl walls after that and seems silly to feed them first. She txts back oh come as planned and we'll feed kids first and we can eat after.

I'm just pissed right off with this. What sort of grown up can't eat frigging lunch half hour earlier so kids are ok. SO I said we'd come as planned and all eat together. Suppose I'll feed the hungry tigers before we go and put up with them being unsettled at the table but so irritated with sodding irritating and controlling SIL. AIBU? What would you do? p.s there is always some problem with this woman!

Just like gremlins,Yabu,her house her rules and when it's your house your rules.

YABU

She is the one cooking the lunch. You are the guests. Give the kids snacks whatever. It won't kill them or you.

If you didnt have two I would say this is classic PFB. Get a grip. The world doesn't resolve around you and your kids.

Op, I suggest you read your post back. You are being completely unreasonable. And controlling obviously. Funnily enough, my Sil is like you. It drives me wild. Kids just have to adapt sometimes. It's really not a big deal.

YABU. And you're the controlling one. This may come as a surprise to you but the world doesn't revolve around feeding time at your zoo.

I did a similar thread when DS was younger and also got a resounding YABU - you do need to be a bit more flexible about it. What if you got stuck in the car or something, or had an appt at lunchtime - they need to learn to wait.

Just give them some raisins or something?

Btw my toddler also eats lunch at 12 when we are at home but I make a point of being flexible over it when out and would never expect anyone else to change their mealtime to suit him.

YABU. She has invited you for lunch yet you think its up to you to dictate when she serves lunch? Either give them a snack like the rest of us do in these circumstances or refuse any invitations for a time that doesn't suit.

YABU.

And you say it's very trivial in your subject line - but your post reads like you don't think it's trivial at all.

Is there a reason you don't just give them breakfast half an hour later? It sounds like you have the rigid timetable, not the kids.

Yabu. As someone else said, it's only one day!

If I stuck to a rigid routine I'd hardly ever do anything out of the house with my 3yo and 9 month old.

Snack to make them last until they get lunch at Sil's.

I.think you're making it a much bigger deal than it is.

YABVU!
Lunch is at hers so she sets the time. As the others have said, the obvious solution is give ure dc a mid morning snack.
What would you do if they were invited to a party that didn't feed the kids until 1pm?!! You need to be flexible.

YABU, why should everyone kowtow to your kids' routines? 12 is v early for adults to eat.

Yabu its only 1/2 an hour.

YABU- I don't think it's good for kids to be on such a rigid schedule that you can't vary it occasionally.

While we also eat together at home, I don't see anything wrong with feeding the kids a little earlier then letting them play while the adults get the chance to chat and have a more leisurely lunch. Either that or just give them a snack at 11 ish. They won't explode!

Also, if she is cooking a sunday roast it would probably involve a lot more hassle for her to bring the meal forward by an hour.

Yes give them a mid morning snack, won't hurt for one day. I like mine in a routine but for special occasions things need to be flexible.
Sounds like a power struggle between you and sil, I would def try and accommodate visiting friends dc's routines if possible. So both of you Abu. Shame as I'd love my sil to live near enough to be able to pop round for Sunday lunch.

YABU. You know that surely. SIL was kind enough to invite you to lunch and you've dictated when it should occur due to your precious children. Give them a snack before you go. It's hardly rocket science.

How do you feel about getting such a resounding response,OP?

I think you have to start building some flexibility into your children's meal times.

It's not good to have it so they must be fed on the dot each and every day. There will be times this is just not possible.

Best to start varying it so it isn't an ongoing problem.

They can have a small snack and eat later.

It isn't a big deal.

Hehe,consider yourself unreasonable OP :)

YABU.

Snack, seperate lunch, try to bend from strict regimes.

Sorry, another YABU.

A piece of fruit or some ricecakes etc at 11, 11.30 will tide them over.

It sounds like everything has to revolve around your kids...

It's only half an hour. Really really not worth freaking about it, especially if your relationship with SIL is difficult already. Save the stress for bigger issues (or is this the biggest?!).

I think YANBU to ask to eat at a better time for your DCs. Ultimately the host decides timings but I do think she could have been more accommodating. I think she doesn't want to eat with the children but doesn't want to say so directly.

I don't think the OP is coming back

YABU. I don't think she is the controlling person here.

Half an hour won't kill them.