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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not let my 9 year old play Call of Duty?

112 replies

joshandjamie · 28/02/2013 21:39

My son is a recently turned 9 year old. He comes home daily bemoaning his fate because 'everyone in his class' is allowed to play on xbox/playstation games like Call of Duty, Halo and Skyrim and he's not.

Now I'm fairly certain that not 'everyone in his class' is actually playing these games. A good number won't be. A good number may claim that they are but aren't. But I do know that quite a few are allowed to play on them.

I've googled the games he's mentioned (as I don't have a clue about these things) and they are age 18 and tend to be described as hard core violence. Like this review (this is just one random one I've pulled but they mostly seem to say the same thing): This game earns its Mature rating with violence, gore, profanity and intense scenes. Also present, though not intense, are sex, drugs, drinking and smoking. There is a setting to reduce the violence, but unless it abridges the story I don?t think it will help with anything but the gore.

My son is genuinely distraught that he can't contribute to conversations at break time about these games as he's not allowed to play them. He thinks I am being grossly unfair. Am I being unreasonable for not letting him play them? Are the reviews over egging the violence on the games? Is there some setting that enables them to play but without the sex, violence, swearing?

I have said no repeatedly and tried to explain my rationale but this is a daily battle. I don't see me changing my mind soon but want to know whether I really am being unreasonable here.

OP posts:
freddiefrog · 28/02/2013 21:44

YANBU

I hear this daily from my 11 year old too "but muuuummm, all my friends play it". I don't care who else is allowed to play it, DD is absolutely not.

I'm not massively strict with age ratings on things and don't mind the odd 12 if I've seen it myself, but she will not be watching or playing anything 18 rated in this house

Talking to other parents 'all my friends' is more like 1 or 2 though

SolidSnake · 28/02/2013 21:45

YANBU at all, don't give into his nagging

SolidSnake · 28/02/2013 21:46

Tell him all the cool kids play The Legend of Zelda and Mario anyway Wink

DomesticCEO · 28/02/2013 21:46

YANBU

Parents who let their kids play these games under age clearly have very little understanding of the effect they have on kids.

Stand your ground - someone has to!

Poppet48 · 28/02/2013 21:47

YANBU. Just to let you know though, You can change the settings and 'Violence/Sex rating' on these games but I wouldn't allow my 9 year old to play it as I would think that it can be a bit disturbing and disruptive to a child that age.

aldiwhore · 28/02/2013 21:48

YANBU re call of duty.

I'm not sure about Skyrim, isn't that the fantasy one?

My 9 year old isn't allowed to play any online games, he's not allowed to play 18 games... he's still on CBBC and FRIV! The PS3 has loads and loads of great, free demos that keep him amused... suddenly he thinks he lucky rather than feeling left out because his mates are all bullshitting about playing CoD (the parents of the children I've asked about this look horrified, and usually it's their older siblings or parents who are playing these games).

Yfronts · 28/02/2013 21:49

you are 100% in the right.

Yfronts · 28/02/2013 21:49

I know 50 9 year olds and no play that game

SolidSnake · 28/02/2013 21:50

aldiwhore I play Skyrim, definitely not for a 9 year old, some of it is very graphic!

aldiwhore · 28/02/2013 21:50

When I mean online, I obviously don't mean CBBC or FRIV which, yes, are both online Hmm

I know what I mean, I hope you do. Smile

MrsDmitriTippensKrushnic · 28/02/2013 21:53

My DSs are 12 and 15 and they aren't allowed to play 18 rated games. At 9 they definitely wouldn't. We'll sometimes compromise on certain games if either me or DH has played it and we're happy with the content (generally a couple of 15 rated ones) but that's based on our assessment of the games not peer pressure. DSs know by now that I don't give a monkey's what their friends do in their own homes - we have our own rules, and I agree, a large proportion of them are probably exaggerating (maybe watch older siblings/parents play rather than play themselves)

notsofrownieface · 28/02/2013 21:55

YANBU. Game ratings are there for a reason. Just because it's a game does not mean that it's suitable for children.

codswallopandchips · 28/02/2013 21:58

The video game rating is as important and worth taking notice of as a movie rating - you wouldn't let him go to an 18-rated film on his own, right? So quite rightly you won't let him play an 18-rated game on his own either. The reviews aren't wrong, stick to your guns.

It's always worthwhile just hanging out with kids while they play from time to time, just to see what the games are like imho. Tedious, but worthwhile!

For more info, somewhere like [uk.ign.com IGN] is really good to have a browse around, and I'd also recommend you watch some of the game trailers to get a feel for what's out there.

I'm sorry if this comes across as patronising (I'm aware I sometimes do) but it's something I'm quite passionate about.

codswallopandchips · 28/02/2013 21:59

passionate about digital literacy, but muck up putting a hyperlink on a web forum, sheesh... Blush

aldiwhore · 28/02/2013 22:03

solidsnake Thanks! I haven't played the full game, only the first level. Smile I wants it.

rubyredface · 28/02/2013 22:04

This could be me posting my 10 yr old DS is constantly going in about how all his friends play COD and he can't join in - I know a lot of his friends do have it but he just won't understand that it's got an 18 eating for a reason - it is becoming a daily fight Hmm

freddiefrog · 28/02/2013 22:05

I'm not sure about Skyrim, isn't that the fantasy one?

Do you mean Skylanders? My 2 play that

DH has Skyrim, definately not for kids

GirlOutNumbered · 28/02/2013 22:05

My stepson is 9 and is not allowed to play. We encourage games like FIFA and he plays some strategy ones with his dad. He never moans about it anymore, although he's probably playing it at a friends house! The Xbox is in our front room, I think this makes a huge difference, there is no way I would put one in a kids room.

hugoagogo · 28/02/2013 22:07

Yanbu

Try getting him into minecraft, they love it.

ds is 14 and is not allowed COD.

Kiwiinkits · 28/02/2013 22:08

Would you let him watch an R18 porno?
No? Thought not.

You're doing the right thing.

GalaxyDefender · 28/02/2013 22:24

Skyrim is hardly "hardcore", but I wouldn't let a 9yo play it either. Though I did let my DS cast a few fireballs when he woke up at 11 the other night and wandered in Grin

It baffles me that this topic comes up again and again. Sure, a lot of parents (a massive generalisation here, but it tends to be mothers) don't enjoy video games but ffs, it's hardly rocket science to go online and look stuff like this up. At least the OP here has tried to do some research on her own. It's horrifying that many don't bother.

PandaNot · 28/02/2013 22:47

My ds is 8 nearly 9 and all of his friends are minecraft fans, never heard COD mentioned amongst them.

Valpollicella · 28/02/2013 22:52

No fucking way would DS be playing COD if he were 9 now .

We need more parents to say no to those kind of games (as responses above), as otherwise it will insidiously creep into the norm. And that would be horrible.

At 8/9/10 they shouldn't even be thinking of playing those games. They are horrific

Valpollicella · 28/02/2013 22:53

OP yanbu! (btw, missed your question!)

Original poster
joshandjamie · 28/02/2013 22:59

Thanks all - he does play minecraft. That was a lot of nagging too (I was put off him playing it as he kept watching the videos on youtube and I always seemed to walk in the room as the voice on the video said things like 'fucking hell'. So I've stopped the watching of those videos but he has minecraft. But apparently that is not cool anymore (it was last week) and now it is all about COD and other violent games.

It really does irritate me that other parents let their kids play these games because it adds to the nagging in my house. So if any parents out there do allow it could you please stop, I'd greatly appreciate it. ta very much. Smile

His parting comment to me today was: 'You are so mean. I know that even when I am 18 you won't let me play these games.' So I said: 'Well by the time you're 18 these will be quite old so you won't want to play with them.' Which resulted in a flounce. yay.

OP posts: