to not let my 9 year old play Call of Duty?

[joshandjamie]

My son is a recently turned 9 year old. He comes home daily bemoaning his fate because 'everyone in his class' is allowed to play on xbox/playstation games like Call of Duty, Halo and Skyrim and he's not.

Now I'm fairly certain that not 'everyone in his class' is actually playing these games. A good number won't be. A good number may claim that they are but aren't. But I do know that quite a few are allowed to play on them.

I've googled the games he's mentioned (as I don't have a clue about these things) and they are age 18 and tend to be described as hard core violence. Like this review (this is just one random one I've pulled but they mostly seem to say the same thing): This game earns its Mature rating with violence, gore, profanity and intense scenes. Also present, though not intense, are sex, drugs, drinking and smoking. There is a setting to reduce the violence, but unless it abridges the story I don?t think it will help with anything but the gore.

My son is genuinely distraught that he can't contribute to conversations at break time about these games as he's not allowed to play them. He thinks I am being grossly unfair. Am I being unreasonable for not letting him play them? Are the reviews over egging the violence on the games? Is there some setting that enables them to play but without the sex, violence, swearing?

I have said no repeatedly and tried to explain my rationale but this is a daily battle. I don't see me changing my mind soon but want to know whether I really am being unreasonable here.

Yy Sophie I notice that some of the children who 'play' these games (18 cert) have mums & dads who actually own and play the consoles themselves. I don't think the kids play but they notice the COD and GTA dvd cases beside their own.

Quick question, if anyone can advise, my DS's have told me that there is a game where the blood and bad language can be hidden (not sure which one, maybe one the COD ones or something similar) so they have been asking me for it repeatedly. I haven't caved in but what is the general consensus on this?

In old COD (on Wii) blood can be hidden.

sophie I don't think Halo is too bad - certainly not in the realms of COD or Grand Theft Auto, etc. There is 'violence' in that you are shooting aliens, but it's all very sci-fi and cartoon looking. It's also not an 18 btw, it's either a 15 or 16 from what I remember. I do allow my 11 year old to play it with his older brother and I know his friends play it too. I've sat and watched them play it and there was nothing to worry about (IMO).

On the other hand, there is no way I would let my younger DC play COD, Grand Theft Auto or any of the 18 games. My eldest has them but only because he is now old enough to go in to a shop and buy them himself! I do know (from asking the parents) that I am in the minority with my younger DC - most of their friends DO play these games and I get nagged constantly about it. A good friend of mine admits that her DH has been letting their son play COD with him since the son was about 6 . She doesn't like it but that's another story...

I've played COD. Yanbu. Stick to your (non life-like) guns.

Games don't turn kids into murderers, no, but why would you want a child playing at war and death anyway? The way the soldiers fall and die, the ricochet of the bullets, it's all been designed and programmed to be as lifelike as possible.

Kids are becoming desensitized and it's a real issue.

Skyrim is definitely not "hardcore" in some senses - you could play it under supervision for instance (avoid bloody combat, avoid the demon prince quests and stick to bits you know) and it would be safe for a 9 year old.

You could do the same with Halo to some extent in terms of the content, if it were possible to personally supervise multiplayer in a realistic way.

CoD forget it, gibbing, knifing, tea-bagging and swearing are the order of the day there, there's no way any of my DCs are playing it.

I really feel that you should treat games the same as movies,

Would any of those 9 year olds would be allowed to watch any of these war films?

Saving Private Ryan (15)
American Sniper (15)
Fury (15)

probably not... so why allow them to play games like that?

Oh I think it is halo 4, CSM says not for kids but also parents and kids both rate the age suitability as 11?

I find that CSM are quite conservative and the comments are quite permissive, I'd read the text and make your own mind up. What would be a problem for one child might be for another.

As for turning the blood off, I don't think it makes a difference really. It's still a game about war and the context is still the same.

flogginmolly "Where are all these classrooms full of 9 year olds playing COD?"

There aren't 'whole' classrooms, but there are certainly kids that young playing these games!

My other 'rule' for computer games is get the kid to try buy it on his own! Send them into the shop on their own (wait outside) and see if they'll sell it to him. If he cna't buy it, he can't play it! No (sensible) computer games shop will sell COD to a 9 year old. (you can always ring ahead an check they will refuse service.... just in case!)

Me and OH are gamers and enjoy a bit of co op on call of duty and he did try GTA (didn't like it), I am also a big fan of assassins creed. We never play these games in front of DC especially DD who is nearly 7. She quite likes the trials bike game and project cars (like an F1 game) but overall she prefers her DS.

Me and OH are in complete agreement none of DC will be playing 18 rated games until they are 16/17 at the youngest. And all games consoles are kept in the living room as I have hears first hand how people talk in those games it is really vile and I worry it would leave younger teens open to bullying

why would you want a child playing at war and death anyway?

Speaking of the ancient ww2 versions of CoD... Well, we teach kids history, make them read books on the subject, take them to museums and battlefields, celebrate the comemorations. Why not let them play a rather tame videogame with reinactment of historical events? Like D-Day landing?

Oh and there definately are young kids playing these games I know for definite there were boys next door and a few houses further down who were playing gta and COD at 10/11

My 9 year old DD has been making similar complaints. I don't suppose it helps that both I and my DP game quite a lot.

I scoff cheerfully at her requests for COD. Please child. You are 9.

Currently, she likes Portal. Which is sci fi and sort of puzzle like I'm considering letting her have a go at some of Halo 3. I've played it through. It is killing, but it's all alien/tech and clearly fantasy and to be honest doesn't seem much worse than some 12 cert films.

She REALLY wants to play Fallout 3/Fallout: New Vegas, but that isn't happening either. She does like watching me kill giant irradiated scorpions and bears though.

Oh yeh. And I agree at this age that gaming takes place in communal area, not in the bedroom.

My ds is also 9 and we regularly have this argument. Loads of his friends are on COD and GTA. Some play it with their dads. I can't get my head round it and I absolutely refuse to let him have them. Certificate 12 is the maximum rating I allow for film and computer. I also have an 11 year old dd and the same applies to her.

I was very upset recently because my ds went to a friend's house for a play date and was allowed to play on a game rated 16. Livid.

I have also called time out on You Tube for the time being as I am sick of the dumb, sweary rubbish on that.

I'd be fine with it but that's because I used to play games like that with my dad growing up. Didn't traumatise me, I assure you. They're just games..

Apparently I'm in the minority though

We are keen gamers, and my DD who is 7, nearly 8 is following suit. However, even at 7, she understands that games are rated for a reason. We never play anything 15/18 rated in front of her, we only play when she's in bed, but if she comes into the living room for any reason whilst we're playing, she walks in with her hands over her eyes so she doesn't see.

Some of her classmates (P3 in scotland) genuinely are playing CoD, Halo etc and there's even one who plays GTAV. He's been banned from his friends house because of the language he uses.

lashes it's not about being traumatised from playing the game, it's about being de-sensitised to violence at such a young age. If you're letting a child play games like GTA or CoD then you're saying it's 'normal' for a 9 year old to be exposed to realistic-looking violence, bloody, weapons, theft, prostitution etc. It normalises these things.

If you really believe children don't copy what they see on TV/Games then you're mistaken. Sure they won't turn into blood-lusting murderers. But how many of you here, when you were younger, played games in the playground of 'Power Rangers' or 'Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles' (showing my age!) do you really believe that kids aren't playing 'Call of Duty' or 'GTA' in the playground?

I'm sure you would screen your child from those things in 'real life' - you wouldn't allow them to wander into a casualty unit of a hospital and let them watch the casualties come in, legs missing and blood everywhere. You wouldn't take them to see a 'real' war, and watch the battles? Would you say "Oh here's a cool game my beloved 9 year old son, let's go an watch some people steal cars, on the way we can run a few people over and perhaps pick up a prostitute!"

The most you might realistically expose them to is a re-enactment of a battle or a jousting tournament etc or a fake wounds/first aid session.

00100001, I take your point but I think if you emphasise it's just a game, it's fine. I still get upset if I see someone in pain, or uncomfortable, yet id happily sit with my dad and play violent games. Because I knew it was a game. Obviously this depends entirely on the child.

I don't see how playing COD in the playground is any worse than sword fighting with sticks or finger guns?

The only one I agree with is GTA, but that's because I think it's a bit terrifying for young kids. It also has themes that are very dark.

Shooter games though I don't see an issue with, kids have always played with toy guns and stuff.

I'm aware my view isn't s common one

I think there is no problem with a game being a generic 'bash the baddies' or 'cartoon' violence such as Angry birds etc

You're right, playing COD in the playground is not any worse than sword fighting with sticks or finger guns. And that will ALWAYS happen, not matter what. Just as kid will always play 'house' or ' doctors' or 'royal rumble' etc. Playing is playing, playing is exploring, playing is about learning and that's fine.

But, I really do feel there is an issue with being exposed to realistic blood/gore/violence and normalising violent behaviour in children at such a young age. Whether through the medium of games, films or real life.

Call of Duty has a lot of dark themes, too, with scenes of intense violence and death, just like a modern war film. It's not exactly a Saturday morning cartoon. It won't make anyone a psycho but I would give it to a preteen.

Oops, I wouldn't give it to a preteen, I should say.

Also, on the other hand, I think it's interesting that a lot of parents assume kids take everything in. The film Grease is an excellent example (especially here on MN for some reason) many MNers happily watched it as a child and sang along thinking it was a story about two kids falling in love and having fun at a fairground! At 8, they completely missed the 'dodgy' stuff that as adults they see and are horrified by and are now wondering if their own children should be allowed to watch it.

I used to play crash bandicoot and abes odyssey

My dad used to play resident evil and doom but not infront of us when we were younger, I was maybe 14 the first time I watched him play it but back then (ps1) time the graphics weren't as good as they are now and it didn't look realistic at all. Now a lot of the games are based on things that have actually happened, historical events etc and I think it gives a twisted view on these things and young teens/kids think that is actually what happened

Take no notice of your 9 year old being 'distraught' he can't play that game.
What if he was 'distraught' you won't allow him alcohol? Would you feel unreasonable to stick to that?

Kids have to learn they can't have something just because they want it or because other kids have it.