to not let my 9 year old play Call of Duty?

[joshandjamie]

My son is a recently turned 9 year old. He comes home daily bemoaning his fate because 'everyone in his class' is allowed to play on xbox/playstation games like Call of Duty, Halo and Skyrim and he's not.

Now I'm fairly certain that not 'everyone in his class' is actually playing these games. A good number won't be. A good number may claim that they are but aren't. But I do know that quite a few are allowed to play on them.

I've googled the games he's mentioned (as I don't have a clue about these things) and they are age 18 and tend to be described as hard core violence. Like this review (this is just one random one I've pulled but they mostly seem to say the same thing): This game earns its Mature rating with violence, gore, profanity and intense scenes. Also present, though not intense, are sex, drugs, drinking and smoking. There is a setting to reduce the violence, but unless it abridges the story I don?t think it will help with anything but the gore.

My son is genuinely distraught that he can't contribute to conversations at break time about these games as he's not allowed to play them. He thinks I am being grossly unfair. Am I being unreasonable for not letting him play them? Are the reviews over egging the violence on the games? Is there some setting that enables them to play but without the sex, violence, swearing?

I have said no repeatedly and tried to explain my rationale but this is a daily battle. I don't see me changing my mind soon but want to know whether I really am being unreasonable here.

YADDDNBU. I've a 9, nearly 10 year old and there's no way on this earth he's playing stuff like that, and I do think badly of parents who allow it, TBH.
Absolutely no need to introduce sex and violence to small children, and anyone who thinks it's totally acceptable needs this face making at them.

YANBU. FWIW, DH and I play COD, so I really don't think it's an awful thing in moderation and for adults... But even though a pp says correctly that there's no rape, there is a whole lot of killing and violence, and I don't think that a 9 year old (or an 11 year old, for that matter) is able to put this in any kind of historical or societal perspective. Like others say, there are plenty of great games out there from Minecraft to FIFA to Little Big Planet that can be fun, allow him to play against friends and develop computer skills without needing to kill people for fun. Stay strong on the age recommendations, and good luck - I remember from my childhood that it is a tough battle!

And one other thing - even if he says his friends all play, might be worth checking with other parents... We all used to fib terribly to our parents about 'everyone else' allowing it to peer pressure them into allowing certain games and films, even though it was usually just the one kid with a feuding divorced parents trying to out-gift each other who actually got to do it to begin with!

If other parents agree with you, it may be easier to present a united front.

My boys are now 14 and 12. Still no COD in the house and they know GTA never will be. No 18 certs. The nagging stopped years ago because they know the answer is no. The younger one isnt interested in xbox so only the older one plays.

For us, a couple of years ago I allowed Assassins Creed (15) as it is not first person. I have allowed Halo (15) which is first person but shooting aliens. They don't play that one much but both do occasionally when friends are round (the only time the younger one plays at all). Recently DS1 has got some other 15s which seem quite violent enough to me - Crysis and Tom Clancy. He seems happy enough with these. He did get Skyrim and never played it.

Everyone in the world apart from ds1 and 2 (13&9) are allowed to play COD apparently.
everyone

Had the same from my son at 9yrs and yes many of his classmates were playing COD, it's very common - probably won't get as many mumsnetters admitting to it compared to those who say their 9yrs olds aren't allowed.

Last year my holier-than-thou DD reported back from a birthday party that birthday boy (10) had been given COD and said "oh, I already have it!"

My 13 yr old DS does appear to be in a very small minority who isn't allowed 18 x-box games or DVDs. I know he plays COD etc at friends' houses which I don't like at all but all I can do is limit the time he spends with these friends. I did, however, stop him staying over at one boy's house when I found out he'd watched Saw! DS was really freaked out by it but didn't tell me for ages what was bothering him. I'd even started worrying that he was being bullied!

Anyway, OP, YANBU. At 9, I wouldn't have thought twice about telling friend's mums that I didn't allow these games or films either.

DS actually laughed the other day that all his mates were playing COD and Halo while he was having a fab time on Lego Batman! He gave up complaining a while ago though!

It is even more difficult when you are divorced and you don't approve of those games for your child but your ex husband does and lets him play all the violent mature games he wants to at age 9 and there is nothing I can do about it.

OP have you spoken to any of the parents of "all the other children" who are allowed to play Call of Duty? I imagine there's probably 1 child who actually plays it and all the others are probably in the same boat as you having to say no,repeatedly to their 9 year olds.

My DS is 11 and he's not allowed. A couple of his school mates are though, I just don't get it.

You are not unreasonable. I wouldn't let mine either.

I'm a fairly serious 'gamer', and I think you are totally in the right. These games are extremely violent and play on power fantasies, so are definitely not suitable for young children. The PEGI age rating system was designed to give parents guidance on this.

I also think COD is unimaginative rubbish, but that's maybe just me...

YANBU!

DS's best friend since nursery used to chat animatedly to me about the "car game" he liked playing on his Xbox. Yup, you've guessed it, it was GTA! This was aged 3. They are now 6 and he is very into COD. I'd like to stress how lovely his parents are; they really, genuinely believe they are harmless so long as he plays with the sound down.

As an aside, if it's the actual battle/tactical gameplay side of things your DS is after, rather than the "I play COD" status, you could try some of the PC Minecraft 'Hunger Games' servers or look at Plants vs Zombies: Garden Warfare (PEGI 7).

Oh, and as others have said, "everyone" at 11 year old DSS's school is allowed to play too, except his Mum went to the trouble of asking "everyone's" parents, and they're not, of course!

Just remembered another game he might like, although I think it's only on PC or the older Xbox: World of Tanks. Might tick the boxes for warfare and realistic graphics, whilst being PEGI 7 and surprisingly low violence (the aim is to disable the other tanks)

YANBU. I recently gave in and finally bought DS3 an Xbox for Christmas, but he was given the rule that 18 rated was not allowed before that age, he could play 16 rated, but Grand Auto and Call of Duty were always going to be banned from the house. He's nearly 15.

YANBU. My lot cracks out the games on a rainy day and none of the above would be allowed for a sub-teenage child.Most RPGs would be alright because you can choose what you let them see, but taking Skyrim as an example there are semi-regular beheadings and the some of the darker quests effectively channel satanism.

Get them minecraft, even if they moan they will be absorbed in it very soon and they seem to get really creative with it. The only potentially objectionable thing in that is that there are "zombies" who are a cute green lego brick that chases you around, but they are a lot less scary than anything you'd see in the average cartoon.

My just 12yo wants to play Halo, which sadly came as a good deal with Forza and the X box a couple of years ago but he knew he wouldn't be allowed it yet.

He says the 11yo next door plays on it.

Is Halo very bad? I really don't know when to allow it.

Halo is violent, but a bit less 'real', it's all very light sci-fi space opera stuff with some quite dark moments. Good games, though. Look up whichever game you have on Common Sense Media, they do good, objective summaries of the content in games.

Thanks, will do.

Depends which edition. My 11yo has played old versions about WW2 when he was 9

Where are all these classrooms full of 9 year olds playing COD? My 9 year old and his friends have probably never even heard of it; they've certainly never asked to play it.

Oh I think it is halo 4, CSM says not for kids but also parents and kids both rate the age suitability as 11?

Bit confused.

Molly there was just one kid at our primary who played everything - and had all the latest technology - his dad bought stuff and gave it to him as an excuse to get the newest for himself, I suspect!

Kid also exaggerated a lot. Cue a class of boys all thinking it was appropriate to play COD at 9/10. A few parents gave in, which didn't help.

Op my DS is almost 9 and would not be allowed COD. DH has it and my friends son got it out when I was looking after him, and asked if he could put it on.

DS said no as it's an 18 and other kid says his Dad lets him play it. He's not even 7 yet

My friend is really annoyed but unfortunately can do nothing about it as they are divorced.

YADNBU I detest it when people don't do their research then regret later! I know a 12 yo who was allowed to play gta because parents didn't research Great games for 9 year olds are: Minecraft, Skylanders, Disney Infinity, Lego games, Mario games.