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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not let my 9 year old play Call of Duty?

112 replies

joshandjamie · 28/02/2013 21:39

My son is a recently turned 9 year old. He comes home daily bemoaning his fate because 'everyone in his class' is allowed to play on xbox/playstation games like Call of Duty, Halo and Skyrim and he's not.

Now I'm fairly certain that not 'everyone in his class' is actually playing these games. A good number won't be. A good number may claim that they are but aren't. But I do know that quite a few are allowed to play on them.

I've googled the games he's mentioned (as I don't have a clue about these things) and they are age 18 and tend to be described as hard core violence. Like this review (this is just one random one I've pulled but they mostly seem to say the same thing): This game earns its Mature rating with violence, gore, profanity and intense scenes. Also present, though not intense, are sex, drugs, drinking and smoking. There is a setting to reduce the violence, but unless it abridges the story I don?t think it will help with anything but the gore.

My son is genuinely distraught that he can't contribute to conversations at break time about these games as he's not allowed to play them. He thinks I am being grossly unfair. Am I being unreasonable for not letting him play them? Are the reviews over egging the violence on the games? Is there some setting that enables them to play but without the sex, violence, swearing?

I have said no repeatedly and tried to explain my rationale but this is a daily battle. I don't see me changing my mind soon but want to know whether I really am being unreasonable here.

OP posts:

Valpollicella · 28/02/2013 23:03

Nicely done Josh Honestly I fel all prim and wotsit saying that but I mean it. If more parents do what you did you wouldn;t be facing this iyswim?

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 28/02/2013 23:05

My DS is 13yo and yes, we've had the "Everyone else in the WORLD has CoD" when he was in Yr 5/6.

He knows I won't let him have Cod or Far Cry.
But he has Assassins Creed, Halo, Skyrim (and yes I know some are an 18 but PEGI has re-graded alot of them)

DS is in the adjoining room, we can hear him through the open door.
My DH looks at the games and I go into the shop to buy them with DS (They have to sell to me though)

I'd say if you don't want them to play, then your decision is final.
And no, all his mates won't be playing CoD

ClippedPhoenix · 28/02/2013 23:07

My DS played call of duty from the age of 11 (think they have been going for 4 years now) and it hasn't turned him into a killing machine, however 8 is a bit on they young side.

FIFA is very popular though, why not steer him in that direction.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 28/02/2013 23:10

Whenever I look at DS X-Box his avators (or whatever they are called) seem to be running through snow wearing tights (though that might just be Assassins Creed)

I say "Aww always winter and never Christmas" .DS is

sausagedogfan · 28/02/2013 23:10

YANBU. My DN was playing this at 10 and my BIL was quite bemused when I pointed out that 18 certs are there for a reason. I'm not looking forward to my two getting older and that battle starting. They've got cousins who aren;t that much older than them and I can see it becoming a real flashpoint as they'll see them doing stuff they can't. Fingers crossed I've got a another 5 years or so before I have to face this!

Doubletroublemummy2 · 28/02/2013 23:11

Well done you and all the other mommy's who take the time and effort to say no their children. If only all mom's would, it would make all our jobs easier.

SnotMeReally · 28/02/2013 23:15

DS is 8
we have this battle to come I am sure
I already worry when he goes to friends what they might be leting him see/do online

I dont really get why any sane adult enjoys these very violent, rape etc ones - just sick IMO

NicAndNick · 28/02/2013 23:42

I completely agree. Its rated 18 for a reason. I do play games, as does my husband and would not let an 8 year old watch one of these games let alone play them.
Skyrim may be a fantasy game, but the character is still focused on killing other people, and it's pretty graphic, as realism is what sells!
The only other thing to add is I was in a game store recently and there was a mother in front of me buying CoD obviously for the boy stood next to her, looked about 9! The guy serving her asked if it was for the boy, when she said yes he pointed out the age limit. She just sheepishly shrugged. He then carried on pointing out what a bad idea it was and eventually she left the shop shame faced. I'm sure the boy persuaded her to buy it somewhere else, but it has to make you think if even the people selling them think it's unsuitable for younger children.
Stick to your guns and well done!

ClippedPhoenix · 28/02/2013 23:49

No rape in COD etc. to my knowledge. The one game I veto is Grand Theft Auto, which does have prostitutes etc. in.

Assassins Creed is just as violent as COD, so don't fool yourselves there.

However competitive sports games as in FIFA are the way to go.

ClippedPhoenix · 28/02/2013 23:56

In saying that, DS is far more involved in the competitive nature of these sorts of games as in any really.

If he was playing them for hours and hours at a time and doing nothing else then I'd worry. If he became rather shouty and voilent then I'd worry. He isn't and doesn't so as long as there's nothing derrogatory towards women in the context of them then it's fine by me.

A total ban makes things all the more worth it.

WilsonFrickett · 01/03/2013 00:03

I always make a point of posting on these threads cos I think it's our version of peer pressure. YANBU. at all. Ratings are there for a reason.

So hold the line MN.

Robinredboobs · 01/03/2013 00:34

So clipped phoenix, being derogatory to women is terrible but blowing people's heads off and torturing is cool?
5 year old next door to me plays it - terrifying.

ClippedPhoenix · 01/03/2013 00:47

let's get this into context here Robin. Telling me a 5 year old is playing it then of course i would be wondering about that particular household.

At the age of let's say 8 plus, children know that it's a game, it's more about competition against other players than about some sort of bloody battle.

Would you say that anyone going into the forces is wrong? would you say that any form of combat is wrong? Females as well as males hold down these positions now adays you know.

Somanyquestions1 · 01/03/2013 01:03

No, your not being unreasonable. While I don't consider them a evil and destructive force as many others do, 9 years old is far too below 18 to even consider parental discretion.

JCDenton · 01/03/2013 01:08

No, YANBU, CoD's single player is about as graphic as what you'd expect to see in a action film set in a present-day war, so if you wouldn't want him seeing that, don't let him play CoD. Maybe at 13/14 it might be worth starting to think about relaxing the rule if you think they're mature enough but 9 is far too young for me. Also, any online play wouldn't be as graphic, but a lot of bad language will be flying about.

Always enjoy the odd comment about how sick I must be for playing violent games in these threads

INeverSaidThat · 01/03/2013 01:47

YANBU my DC's were not allowed to play COD until they were (close to)the correct age. There are so many other great games to play it shouldn't be a problem. My kids were not allowed any first person shooters until 14/15 ish and then only cartoony type ones. We have loads of games systems and games, they were not deprived in any way.

Grand theft auto (and similar) will never be allowed in my house.

INeverSaidThat · 01/03/2013 01:51

Apart from the violence COD is not suitable or younger kids because of the style of gameplay. It is too intense for them. They often find it frustrating to play.

CookieB · 01/03/2013 01:55

I decide what my ds can play. He is nearly 10 but very intelligent. He has never had a tantrum yet I do worry sometimes the impact computer games have on him. He tried to turn down swimming the other day cos he had downloaded a new game:(. I dont fucking think so mr!

GirlOutNumbered · 01/03/2013 04:33

ineversaidthat that's a really interesting point. These games are designed to be addictive and sometimes the style of gameplay is incredibly frustrating for young minds. I worry about the damage it can do.
It's all about moderation, any game played for hours is dangerous.
I play all these games and I would suggest parents sit in on some online free for all action, and then see if its suitable for a 9 year old.

ratbagcatbag · 01/03/2013 04:48

Personal choice, my DSS has had cod for three years and he's now 14, he wasn't allowed to play the single player parts, and we turned down the violence level, although that relates to single player anyway. I don't think they're that bad, playing then myself, I find the deaths of players quite cartoony rather than graphic. However grand theft auto and saints row are massive nos in this house despite many arguments. YANBU but I also think people who make the decision to allow them are NBU either.

ratbagcatbag · 01/03/2013 04:49

Oh and my DSS lives for minecraft!!! I don't get it, it looks boring as hell.

makemineamalibuandpineapple · 01/03/2013 06:18

Definitely YANBU OP. My son (10) is always nagging for CoD and Grand Theft Auto and it's a definite no here. However, since getting FIFA 13 for his birthday 3 weeks ago, the nagging has subsided . He also loves minecraft.

TheFallenNinja · 01/03/2013 07:08

YANBU. It's a game about violence.

Sorry kid, roolz is roolz.

GirlOutNumbered · 01/03/2013 07:50

The thing is, people say oh the violence is not too bad and to be honest you could argue that it isn't. However, my problem is children playing games that encourage violence and earning points for kills. The mindset of some people playing the game is horrific. I get called bitch, slut etc etc when I play online and the racist remarks are unbelievable. It creates a very competitive environment which I am not sure is heathly for children.

Ae we not just desensitising them to what should be the horrors of war?

MamaBear17 · 01/03/2013 07:53

YANBU

My husband is a primary school teacher and is currently trying to teach the children about what life was like for a WW2 soldier. He said that 'Call of Duty' has made his job so difficult because the children equate WW2 with a game. He is struggling to engage their empathy because they just think that being a soldier is 'cool' and that shooting people is good (I assume because they get more points on the game!). Games like that are addictive because they are challenging. It is easy for a child to become obsessed with playing them and, in my experience as a secondary school teacher, kids can often lose several hours a day playing them, leaving little time for homework and real life socialising. My colleague often brings her son's football game to work with her when she knows she will be late home and her 16 year old will be home alone for a couple of hours. Eavesdropping on their phone calls is hilarious when he phones to ask if she has seen his game. He promptly gets told that he will have to do homework instead!

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