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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be irritated by cousin's list of what to do with her baby?

84 replies

MrsMushroom · 27/02/2013 21:31

Baby is 9 months. I have had 2 of my own.

Cousin asked me to care for baby next week and has emailed a list of when she feeds and when to offer feed....she also lists when the baby watches some tv and when she naps.

I though hmm...ok...PFB, I'll offer the bottle/food when the list says...and if baby wont oblige then I'll just do as the baby wants and play it by ear.

But she has now asked me to txt her at each point in the baby's list...so eg baby has her bottle on schedule...I txt her to say it's happened. Baby naps on schedule...I text. I get that she is anxious but it's ONE day. Not even a full day!

Should I send random texts saying "Baby refused bottle, is having a rare steak on kitchen floor" and "Baby would not nap so is playing with neighbours children on path outside."

Or would that be too mean?

OP posts:

Dromedary · 27/02/2013 21:34

Her demands are pretty ridiculous. I would just say you're happy to help out and will do your best to follow her schedule but will only text if there's a problem. Then don't text unless there's a major emergency. If she needs the time off she'll accept that, and it will be good for her.

Kayano · 27/02/2013 21:34

Yes

As you've said it's not even one day and she is probably just anxious.

Just suck it up and she'll be more relaxed next time. No need to get on a fellow mothers case and get all sarcastic

fossil971 · 27/02/2013 21:34

You will really have to go with the flow, but maybe she would be up for some kind of PFB award? .

Twinkletoes91 · 27/02/2013 21:34

Do it, I'm sure she will have a giggle and might stop her being so anxious xxxx

Passmethecrisps · 27/02/2013 21:34

I started off thinking maybe you were being a bit mean. However, I like your text suggestions so go with those!

I am inclined to think she shouldn't leave the baby if she is so concerned about what happens when. The likelihood is that by being left the baby will go a bit weird anyway.

If I were you and not being funny I would just text her what she wants to hear as long as all is well.

maddening · 27/02/2013 21:35

Why would you do that? Surely you remember being a new mum being away from your own pfb?

Yabu imo - surely it's good to know the schedule? Surely it's nice to ensure that your cousin might feel less anxious with the odd reassuring text? Help her gain confidence in leaving her baby and have a little compassion as a fellow mum.

CognitiveOverload · 27/02/2013 21:36

Cant you just help her out and do as she wants...first child is always anxiety inducing.

BridgetBidet · 27/02/2013 21:36

Can you not just be nice and realise she is anxious?

HildaOgden · 27/02/2013 21:37

Precious First Born Syndrome.Understandable,but incredibly irritating.You need to draw up your own list.

1.You'll do your best to stick to the routine.
2.You won't be contacting her unless there is a problem.And that she should work on the assumption that 'no news is good news'.

None of this constant checking occured before mobile phones,you know.And people were a lot less stressed too.climbs down from soapbox

Flisspaps · 27/02/2013 21:37

I'd just do as she asks. It's only one day. I was fucking awful when DD was little (DS I'd gladly leave with pretty much anyone!)

She's trusting you with her PFB, and her demands aren't too bonkers. It's not like she's asking you to run Skype all day so she can watch you at any given time.

One day, she'll be about it, and forever indebted that you did as she asked.

Annunziata · 27/02/2013 21:38

Leave the poor girl alone, it's horrible leaving your baby for the first time. You'll laugh about it together in a few years.

RedPencils · 27/02/2013 21:39

Aw i remember those days. I'm ashamed to admit that I also provided my mother with a similar list when she first looked after my DTs for the day. And I phoned her a lot to check that the babies hadnt combusted in the 5 minutes since I last phoned her. I barely stop the car now when I drop them off before school now.

I think you have to indulge her a little bit. She'll soon ease off.

mrsjay · 27/02/2013 21:39

I would be tempted to say you are bloody BONKERS but of course i I wouldnt I would say that I have had babies before and you will do your best to carry out his schedule and tell her to relax the baby will be fine she sounds anxious and bonkers

Passmethecrisps · 27/02/2013 21:40

Been thinking about this and I think you could reach a nice compromise (not that I have been considering the fact that I would be just a bad or anything)

Suggest that you will do your utmost to follow the schedule but want to give her a break. You will keep a wee note of timings, food and so on which she can get when she comes back as this might impact on her evening. Then take a few pics of baby smiling, playing, sleeping like a lamb and so on and maybe send her these.

LaQueen · 27/02/2013 21:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BrainDeadMama · 27/02/2013 21:40

Ha ha ha.

The list is hilarious- tv time for a 9 month old!? But I would go with it- the baby will hopefully feel happy in her routine, and it will probably also make your life easier.

But texting her at each step is way OTT. Say no in the nicest possible way, give her a nice phone update when the baby has her tv time instead!

BackforGood · 27/02/2013 21:41

No, Maddening, Cognitive, and Briget - the precise list of what the baby normally does, is PFB and understandable.
The expecting texts throughout the day is ridiculous. (Yes I do remember leaving mine for the first time).
OP is being nice - she's having the baby for the day.

piprabbit · 27/02/2013 21:41

She thinks she is helping you by giving you the baby's routine, it might just help you both get through the day with minimum fuss.

She is being slightly peculiar expecting texts that correspond to the timetable. Just make sure you text her regularly as she is obviously a worried about the whole day. But maybe stick to the "Baby's fine - having fun".

FeckOffCup · 27/02/2013 21:43

YANBU to think you don't have to stick to the routine rigidly if the baby has other ideas but YABU in your attitude towards your cousin. Some people are natural worriers, I am one of them and I can't relax on a night out unless DH has texted me that DD has taken her bedtime milk and gone to sleep and DD is 2 now.

LaQueen · 27/02/2013 21:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thingiebob · 27/02/2013 21:44

She is obviously struggling with anxiety. I would do as she asks, but yanbu to be irritated by it.

KatyPeril · 27/02/2013 21:45

Please, please do that!

Original poster

MrsMushroom · 27/02/2013 21:45

Oh of course I'll do it for her. I wouldn't worry her. I was a mare too! I'm just having a laugh at her expense. I've earned that...well I will have as I sit the baby down to watch her 10 minutes worth of cbeebies and then get her drinks RIGHT on time.

OP posts:

ErikNorseman · 27/02/2013 21:46

It's not helping her if you comply with her absurd text requests. Fine to try to follow the schedule (though you know the baby won't play ball) but the texting is ridiculous. Don't indulge it.

Original poster

MrsMushroom · 27/02/2013 21:46

LaQueen that's the height of evil! But I like it.

OP posts:

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