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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be irritated by cousin's list of what to do with her baby?

84 replies

MrsMushroom · 27/02/2013 21:31

Baby is 9 months. I have had 2 of my own.

Cousin asked me to care for baby next week and has emailed a list of when she feeds and when to offer feed....she also lists when the baby watches some tv and when she naps.

I though hmm...ok...PFB, I'll offer the bottle/food when the list says...and if baby wont oblige then I'll just do as the baby wants and play it by ear.

But she has now asked me to txt her at each point in the baby's list...so eg baby has her bottle on schedule...I txt her to say it's happened. Baby naps on schedule...I text. I get that she is anxious but it's ONE day. Not even a full day!

Should I send random texts saying "Baby refused bottle, is having a rare steak on kitchen floor" and "Baby would not nap so is playing with neighbours children on path outside."

Or would that be too mean?

OP posts:
mrsjay · 27/02/2013 21:47

When she texts you, asking what's going on...just reply with 'What baby?'

made me LOL that did

MN044 · 27/02/2013 21:47

Actually I don't think it's ridiculous. I have a 10 month old who is my third. I'd still expect and appreciate texts through the day if I left him with anyone. I've yet to do it (quite how I've not gone potty with sleep deprivation I'll never know) but I d othink it's normal to want some updates. And I have no issues with anxiety.

mrsjay · 27/02/2013 21:49

I'd had 2 babies, born 54 weeks apart...and could change a baby's nappy blindfold, one-handed, down a mine shaft at night.

parent at work today has 2 babies 1 nb other nearly a year she was feeding 1 and spoon feeding an other while drinking coffee I was impressed

mrsjay · 27/02/2013 21:49

the other*

Fakebook · 27/02/2013 21:51

When I left my dd with dsis for the first time I wasn't anxious because I trusted the person I was leaving her with and knew she'd keep her dry, fed and happy regardless of bloody routine. Dsis also had 3 children.

I'd be irritated too OP. If you're good friends with her then send her the funny texts, but she may think you're taking the piss. Just text her the info she wants to keep her happy.

MariusEarlobe · 27/02/2013 21:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

countrykitten · 27/02/2013 21:52

A 9 month old baby watching tv? I know that the general consensus on MN is that tv is a GOOD THING for children (yeah right) but isn't this a bit ridiculous?

LaQueen · 27/02/2013 21:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

countrykitten · 27/02/2013 21:52

Oh and text her - it's her baby and she will be anxious in case it has missed Eastenders

mrsjay · 27/02/2013 21:53

when I left dd1 with my aunt for the 1st time WE DIDNT HAVE MOBILES Shock modern technology has made people demand updates and constant communication

LaQueen · 27/02/2013 21:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Annunziata · 27/02/2013 21:57

I think that if you text her this time, she will be reassured and more relaxed the next time.

MIL, on the other hand, has phoned me every night for 24 years to check DH has had his dinner. She has a problem. At 9 months?! Normal.

mrsjay · 27/02/2013 21:57

oh yes changing stations a really useful invention when you need to cart baby up 2 flights Grin saying that I had 1 of those stupid top n tail bowls with DD1 dd2 got a wipe with a baby wipe

mrsjay · 27/02/2013 21:59

mrsmushroom answer with an erm yeah baby is urm fine Wink sen d mum into a spin

MajaBiene · 27/02/2013 22:00

The texting at every point is a bit much, but I would text an update every few hours.

I don't see what is silly about the schedule though - I always find it helpful when looking after a baby to have their usual timetable written down.

Zoomania · 27/02/2013 22:04

I would do what she asks as it will help her relax and enjoy her day out. As another anxious mother here I have to say I find it much easier if I am out to glance down subtly at my phone and see a little message from my mum saying "baby fine just had nap" etc than constantly worrying and wondering and texting her to ask if everything is ok.

However I love your humorous texts and if she has a good sense of humour you could include those in brackets!

exoticfruits · 27/02/2013 22:04

I would just tell her that no news is good news and you will text if a problem.

HildaOgden · 27/02/2013 22:07

Annunziata,you must have the patience of a saint!!!!

MrsJay,I must be as ancient as you.there was none of this constant checking before mobile phones were commonplace,people just got on with things and if they didn't hear anything ,they assumed all was well.Definitely a less stressful way to live.

Sinkingfeeling · 27/02/2013 22:12

Ha! When we looked after our nephew at 2 years old, SIL emailed me a 3-page list of instructions in advance which included the lyrics to various CBeebies songs which had to be sung at the right moments through the day - brushing teeth time, story time etc. Obviously we ignored it but it gave us a good laugh at the time. Grin

LaQueen · 27/02/2013 22:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

apostropheuse · 27/02/2013 22:18

oh good grief - texting updates? I've heard it all now.

You could have great fun with it though.

Baby napped for one hour and 23 three minutes. Baby woke up. Did not fall off couch. All good.

Baby ate cat biscuits. Cat didn't mind. Dettol didn't sting scratch. All well.

Baby refused lunch. Cat biscuits are filling. All Fine.

SausageInnaBun · 27/02/2013 22:24

YANBU to be irritated by it but YABU to suggest sending "joke" texts. Yes she's being pfb but I expect she's just very anxious at leaving her baby. Just do it, it'll be easier for her if she gets the text updates and it only takes a minute to send one. Very kind of you to look after her baby for her.

SausageInnaBun · 27/02/2013 22:32

I don't think it feeds the anxiety. When I was in labour with DS2 I left DS1 with a friend, dropped him off at 1am (really nice of my friend to take him at that hour). She sent a text an hour or so later to say he was fast asleep and settled, I could then stop worrying about him. She then sent another text at about 8am saying he was up, had breakfast and was a bit quiet but seemed ok. I didn't ask her to text but it meant that I wasnt worrying about DS1 while I was in labour. It was only the second time he'd been babysat though and I thought he'd keep her awake all night and not sleep! DH picked him around midday so in 12hrs she sent 2 texts, don't think that's excessive and was nice to know he wasn't screaming for me or keeping her up all night.

mrsjay · 27/02/2013 22:33

Hilda l laqueen it was easier you just went out and came back usually to a sleeping baby you couldnt get in contact with the babysitter in the dark ages you just went out did what you had to do then came back ,

mrsjay · 27/02/2013 22:34

One of the Mums at the DD's nursery took her DD away, because the NN's (politely) refused to call her on the hour, every hour with an update.

NO Shock