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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think the Saunburys checkout lady shouldn't have told me I look like I could have had my children at 13?

192 replies

CarriedAwayAnnie · 21/02/2013 13:52

I am 32 in 2 months. I would like to tell myself I look like a young 20 something but the truth is sleepless nights and the general stress of children has taken it's toll.

I was buying alcohol through self service and she refused to allow the transaction as she said I looked under 25. I would have been flattered if it weren't so ridiculous. I haven't been ID in years.

I explained that I had my 6yr old with me so it was unlikely I was under 18 and she said I looked the sort who would have their children at 13.

I was incensed so asked for a manager. Manager agreed I didn't look under 25 but said he couldn't overrule a colleague. I asked him for a form to complain about the comment his collegeue had made but he said there are no forms to complain.

So I asked for the store manager who told me I could complain through the careline. I asked the manager why he hadn't told me this and he was very insolent, he just stood there looking sulky and shrugging my shoulders.

The store manager then said I couldn't buy my shopping. So I felt as if I was being asked to leave the store without purchasing anything. To be clear, I hadn't been rude or aggressive. It was as if they knew the policy was daft and wanted me out.

But instead of leaving I went back round, picked up the same alcohol and purchased it through a different till with no problems. Surely this shows a fundamental flaw in their Think 25 policy.

AIBU to think that when I am stood there with my wrinkles and my 3yo and a 6yo and a manager and the store manager agree I look over 25, I should be allowed to purchase alcohol? How can a collegeue overrule a store manager?

OP posts:
KatyTheCleaningLady · 21/02/2013 17:49

I don't understand complaining about being ID'd. It's the policy and she's not obligated to know your age exactly.

However, saying you look like the sort of person to have had children at 13 is utterly out of order.

BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability · 21/02/2013 17:49

Ooh, "noone would ID an older woman" - my mums friend was IDed, my mum was there so it def actually happened. Her son is 30, and her hair completely grey Grin
She just thought it was hysterical!

All supermarkets have the policy that the checkout person is right though, regardless of the persons actual age.

My DH was refused on his 29th birthday and was over the moon

ddubsgirl · 21/02/2013 17:51

im not going to lose sleep or my job knowing people like the op are so peed off at being asked for id,are they going to pay the fine if they were under age? no!

ILikeBirds · 21/02/2013 17:52

Can any of you shop workers explain the ID on the alcohol free stuff to me?

sneezingwakesthebaby · 21/02/2013 17:52

I really don't get why you don't understand the way the policy works. When a customer comes along you don't question whether they look 31 (using your example) or 17 and decide from there whether to ID or not, you question whether they look 25 (or 21 depending on the store) or 31. If you can't decide if they are 31 or 25, you ID them even if they are clearly not 17. It's just the way it works to try to stop underage people buying alcohol. Is it really such a massive deal to carry some ID?

TheChimpParadox · 21/02/2013 17:52

showing your ID

ddubsgirl · 21/02/2013 17:52

my bil started going grey at 18ish and my brothers friend was totally bald by 18,so going on looks isnt always the best thing to go on.

WhereYouLeftIt · 21/02/2013 17:53

"Everyone can tell the difference between a 17yo and a 31yo.

Everyone."

Nope. Imagine a 17 year old in full warpaint standing next to a botox-addicted 31 year old. But you've got a fixed idea Annie, you're not going to listen to anyone who disagrees with you. I am now wondering how much credence I can put in your assertion of "To be clear, I hadn't been rude or aggressive." Or even what this poor assistant actually said to you.

ddubsgirl · 21/02/2013 17:54

the id on al free is because it pings up on the till to ask for id,not sure why.

erowid · 21/02/2013 17:55

Absolutely thistlelicker I agree.

Carry your ID or find somewhere else who will serve you.

notsofrownieface · 21/02/2013 17:55

We don't sell booze where I work, but I can only assume it is down to the department number and the id check comes up automatically?

ILikeBirds · 21/02/2013 17:55

I know it pings up on the tills, I just wonder why they then have to refuse to let me buy it because i have no ID!

Original poster
CarriedAwayAnnie · 21/02/2013 17:58

WhereyouLeftit - You construct whatever you want to have happened. Just come on and imagine your own series of events. If that makes you happy. Smile

Why don't we just say that I'm actually 10 Grin

And that Peter Pan was flying around with Tinkerbell at the time.

OP posts:
ddubsgirl · 21/02/2013 17:59

because it asks for id and you didnt have it,not because of the item itself.

ILikeBirds · 21/02/2013 17:59

But it's ridiculous, and the standard response here that why should I risk my job and a fine wouldn't apply in this situation

erowid · 21/02/2013 18:01

Can any of you shop workers explain the ID on the alcohol free stuff to me?

Brewers are allowed to label a product as 'alcohol free' when it contains less than 0.1% abv but licensing laws prohibit the sale of alcohol to under 18's regardless of its alcohol content.

Original poster
CarriedAwayAnnie · 21/02/2013 18:01

It wouldn't have applied in my situation either IlikeBirds but the checkout girls on this thread are ignoring that face and getting their knickers in a twist over a hypothetical while ignoring the facts.

OP posts:
ILikeBirds · 21/02/2013 18:04

"Brewers are allowed to label a product as 'alcohol free' when it contains less than 0.1% abv but licensing laws prohibit the sale of alcohol to under 18's regardless of its alcohol content."

Yet you can buy Bass Shandy no problem at all...

notsofrownieface · 21/02/2013 18:04

That is why think 21/25 was introduced. Because there is a gray area when id'ing someone. In this instance it would not have resulted in job loss or fines, however the person serving you was unsure if you were over 25 therefore asked you to prove you were over 18. What about that do you not understand op?

ddubsgirl · 21/02/2013 18:06

????? you got id`d you got refused,you got your knickers in a twist,in our store you would have been asked to leave and not served again,but hey ho,you asked we told you over & over you didnt have id,thats the rules.

dixiechick1975 · 21/02/2013 18:10

It is the cashier that would have been prosecuted so her decision.

I had this in morrisons - late 30's and grey hair. I didn't have Id and so left the beer. She explained she could get in trouble and it was fine. The man in the queue behind was incredulous - is she having a laugh- so I am under no illusions I can pass for under 25.

I would complain as it is clearly a training issue - staff should be taught how to explain the policy.

erowid · 21/02/2013 18:11

Yet you can buy Bass Shandy no problem at all...

Its classed as a soft drink with alcohol where as Alcohol free beer is an alcoholic beverage with "low/no alcohol"

I know its bonkers and makes no sense to me either but this was what I was told when I did my licensing course.

livinginwonderland · 21/02/2013 18:16

"It wouldn't have applied in my situation either IlikeBirds but the checkout girls on this thread are ignoring that face and getting their knickers in a twist over a hypothetical while ignoring the facts."

look, if we think you look under 25, we are perfectly within our rights to ask your for ID. yes, we wouldn't have got fired for approving your purchase, but that's not the point. the point is, if we think you look under 25, we can and will ask you for ID. if you want to kick up a fuss, blame the government, not us.

ILikeBirds · 21/02/2013 18:19

It's just all a bit "computer says no"

Interestingly I was never asked for ID when I was underage.

manticlimactic · 21/02/2013 18:24

I had someone show me their stretch marks one Hmm to prove they were over 18. Or said my child is so and so age. Doesn't matter, show me ID to prove it. Because no one under 18 has ever had children, have they?

But if she said 'You look the sort to have them at 13' that was wrong.

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