to think the Saunburys checkout lady shouldn't have told me I look like I could have had my children at 13?

[CarriedAwayAnnie]

I am 32 in 2 months. I would like to tell myself I look like a young 20 something but the truth is sleepless nights and the general stress of children has taken it's toll.

I was buying alcohol through self service and she refused to allow the transaction as she said I looked under 25. I would have been flattered if it weren't so ridiculous. I haven't been ID in years.

I explained that I had my 6yr old with me so it was unlikely I was under 18 and she said I looked the sort who would have their children at 13.

I was incensed so asked for a manager. Manager agreed I didn't look under 25 but said he couldn't overrule a colleague. I asked him for a form to complain about the comment his collegeue had made but he said there are no forms to complain.

So I asked for the store manager who told me I could complain through the careline. I asked the manager why he hadn't told me this and he was very insolent, he just stood there looking sulky and shrugging my shoulders.

The store manager then said I couldn't buy my shopping. So I felt as if I was being asked to leave the store without purchasing anything. To be clear, I hadn't been rude or aggressive. It was as if they knew the policy was daft and wanted me out.

But instead of leaving I went back round, picked up the same alcohol and purchased it through a different till with no problems. Surely this shows a fundamental flaw in their Think 25 policy.

AIBU to think that when I am stood there with my wrinkles and my 3yo and a 6yo and a manager and the store manager agree I look over 25, I should be allowed to purchase alcohol? How can a collegeue overrule a store manager?

So if she asks an OAP its fine as it's purely subjective and the manager has to back her up?

Where does common sense kick in?

Have we really lost the ability in society to be able to use common sense? To say, well she is clearly over 18 so ID'ing her is a waste of my time and her time?

This thread is going to go one of two ways -funny or rather funnier or handbags at dawn !

No you wouldn't ask an old lady! If someone you think looks under 25 you have to ask for Id end off, it could cost you your job if caught serving under age so sorry if that pisses people off if I ask but I like my job

well, obviously nobody is going to ID a seventy year old woman, but i think there's an age range between about 20 and 35 where it can be really hard to tell.

as someone who is checkout trained, i will always err on the side of caution and i know my managers will back me up. it's not worth the risk of a £5,000 personal fine if you get it wrong. if it's so much of an issue, carry your drivers license. at the end of the day, i don't care if people complain at me for ID-ing them, because i need my job, and if i get it wrong, i can lose it.

Slight thread hijack, but I was travelling with some work colleagues on the train and we were all complaining that no-one ID'd us anymore (because of our obvious wornout and ageing looks). One colleague said she would 'probably kiss someone' if they carded her, and a workman sitting opposite leaned over and said, "Could I see your ID please love?". Made our day!

I think the manager may have told you a few porkies to get you to calm down and bugger off. The manager may have decided he wasn't overriding it as you looked (and acted?) young and just used the excuse that he couldn't override it or serve you himself to save the aggravation you would have undoubtedly caused had he said he also wouldn't serve you without ID. I don't get why you are so wound up over four lagers that you still managed to buy. Just take ID with you and problem solved.

No one has answered my question about id? Can you still get cards to prove your age? I only have a paper licence, OH doesn't have a driving licence at all.

You think asking a 32 year old (who is only 7 years older than the required ID age) is comparable to asking an OAP who is about 50 years older?

It IS subjective - it can't be anything else. Common sense doesn't actually come into it.

Honestly, I think you're being silly and focusing on the wrong thing. I'm wondering, actually, whether she did really say that you look like "the sort" to have a baby at 13. That is hugely rude and judgemental.

But this is of much less concern to you than the fact that the woman was doing her job and asking for ID because she was uncertain of your age - and her manager wouldn't overrule her.

I can't be arsed with a bunfight today, particularly over something so bloody pathetic.

So - YABU. Very.

ilikebirds i don't think so, but you can carry a copy of your passport, i believe. most age cards only prove you're say, under 25 or over 18, they don't often prove an actual age. i know there are age cards for youngsters, but i don't think you can get them if you're over 25.

can you not get a license card?

FantasticDay!

Ilikebirds - have a look here

In my opinion sainsburys are total arseholes!

most shops will have a list of id that you can you use,i would get the new photo driving license tbh as that is accepted everywhere

OH doesn't have a licence so not an option for him.

If i pay for a photocard driving licence i then have to keep renewing it. At the moment i don't have to renew and pay money. Hoping i'll look old enough soon so only need a shortterm solution. Might try the photocopy of a passport and keep it in my wallet first.

The comment was rude, the policy is what it is.

I buy alcohol in a local store as the staff know me after getting asked for id as I don't have any. My passport needs renewing and I don't have a driving license. I DID have my provisional license when I was asked for id and it is photo one etc but they don't accept a provisional I'd apparently . It is now out of date anyway.

I am 34 and have 5 children from 13 down to 2yrs old and had them with me when I was asked.

The manager cannot overrule their own staff???? WT?

Also the required ID age is to make sure that a 17 year old who looks 25 doesn't purchase alcohol.

Surely, you might look 25, but not 17 surely!

Ooh I've been using my provisional as ID for everything! That's the only reason I bought it.

It is usual policy for managers to not overrule staff; if they could do so then it would hardly be fair as the cashier is the one that gets into the most trouble if they sell to someone underage.

The test should be whether you appear 18 or over, not 25 or older. In which case some 25 year olds might get IDed but not often anyone older than that.

Oh dear. Apparently 'that sort' shop in tescos a lot then.... That would be most of us? Bigoted b....! Defo complain.

Exactly Lueji and fillyjonk.

Ellie,you wouldn't lose your job and het a fine if I looked 25 and you served me. Only if I were 17.

You seem to be confusing the issue.

Clearly I do not look 17 so the whole thing was a waste of everybodies time.

Hope you got her name and the name of the manager that is frankly outrageous!

"The manager cannot overrule their own staff???? WT?"

no, they can't, because the till operator is the person responsible for the transaction, not the manager. if you come up to my till and buy alcohol, i am responsible for that purchase. ie, if you're underage and i don't ID you, i'm the one that gets fined and i'm the one that could lose my job. my manager has every right to disagree with me, but they cannot override my decision.

It is much easier to be 16/17 and look 18, than it is to be 25-30 and look like a 17yo

But it's fairly easy for a say, 26 to 35 year old to look 25 or under and therefore be IDed. Under 25 but not under 18. The test should be whether anyone appears under 18.