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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think the Saunburys checkout lady shouldn't have told me I look like I could have had my children at 13?

192 replies

CarriedAwayAnnie · 21/02/2013 13:52

I am 32 in 2 months. I would like to tell myself I look like a young 20 something but the truth is sleepless nights and the general stress of children has taken it's toll.

I was buying alcohol through self service and she refused to allow the transaction as she said I looked under 25. I would have been flattered if it weren't so ridiculous. I haven't been ID in years.

I explained that I had my 6yr old with me so it was unlikely I was under 18 and she said I looked the sort who would have their children at 13.

I was incensed so asked for a manager. Manager agreed I didn't look under 25 but said he couldn't overrule a colleague. I asked him for a form to complain about the comment his collegeue had made but he said there are no forms to complain.

So I asked for the store manager who told me I could complain through the careline. I asked the manager why he hadn't told me this and he was very insolent, he just stood there looking sulky and shrugging my shoulders.

The store manager then said I couldn't buy my shopping. So I felt as if I was being asked to leave the store without purchasing anything. To be clear, I hadn't been rude or aggressive. It was as if they knew the policy was daft and wanted me out.

But instead of leaving I went back round, picked up the same alcohol and purchased it through a different till with no problems. Surely this shows a fundamental flaw in their Think 25 policy.

AIBU to think that when I am stood there with my wrinkles and my 3yo and a 6yo and a manager and the store manager agree I look over 25, I should be allowed to purchase alcohol? How can a collegeue overrule a store manager?

OP posts:
hugoagogo · 21/02/2013 14:56

You really are being ridiculous.

ddubsgirl · 21/02/2013 14:57

If you don't have Id we can't serve you and any manager with back that up but she shouldn't have been rude I would complain about that.

TheChimpParadox · 21/02/2013 14:57

this must be the OP

Wink
sneezingwakesthebaby · 21/02/2013 14:58

How do you know she "wasn't doing it because I look under 25 though"? I've ID'd people before when I worked at moggies that my colleagues wouldn't have and vice versa. Everyone judges ages differently. I accidentally asked a very young looking 35 year old for ID once which was a bit embarrassing. My supervisor was very amused because she thought the woman was clearly over 25 whereas I hadn't thought that. Not everything is a personal vendetta!

Original poster
CarriedAwayAnnie · 21/02/2013 14:58

Th thing is, it was on one of those self service checkouts. She had already approved it and then changed her mind. She was so late asking me, I should have carried on typing in my pin instead of taking my card out.

Clearly rubbish at her job.

OP posts:
ILikeBirds · 21/02/2013 14:58

I'd be interested to know how it can be against the law to buy something alcohol free without id. They stated to me it was because it was sold in the alcohol aisle but surely a shop can't be prosecuted just on that basis.

Nancy66 · 21/02/2013 14:58

it was rude....but v.funny as well.

Original poster
CarriedAwayAnnie · 21/02/2013 14:59

See with all those babies TheChimp, how can I be under 18? No common sense Grin

OP posts:
livinginwonderland · 21/02/2013 15:02

"She wasn't doing it because I looked under 25 though.

If I did, I wouldn't have been served the second time. And if I did I would have been ID'd many more times in the past."

uh, she was id-ing you because you looked under 25. it's about personal opinion. if she thinks you look under 25, she has EVERY right to ID you and a manager is not allowed to override that. surely you carry around a drivers license? i don't see why being asked for ID is such a big issue.

i'm 24, and look younger, but i don't always get asked for ID. some places ALWAYS ID and i've seen them ID people who are clearly over 30, nevermind 25. she's allowed to be cautious - if she'd gotten it wrong, she would be facing dismissal, a £5,000 personal fine and the store would be facing a fine, and could have their liquor license taken away.

your issue is with her attitude, not being ID'd, methinks.

TheChimpParadox · 21/02/2013 15:04

It was rude for her to say that you look like you would have kids at 13 but I wouldn't get in a tizz about not being sold alcohol - if your that desperate for the alcohol just accept the ID rule (many of us on here are very Envy) and go to the local off licence with your brown paper bag

Original poster
CarriedAwayAnnie · 21/02/2013 15:08

I've complained about the comment and ignored the stupidity that is the THINK 25 policy.

I'm also ignoring the stupidity of people that can't understand that if I looked under 25 I would be ID'd regularly.

I understand that 30yo's are fortunate enough to look 25. I am not that fortunate. I know this because I have to face myself in the mirror every morning. I also know this because 3 people in the same store told me I looked over 25.

This is clearly a lady with either no common sense, a chip on her shoulder or that's just bad at her job.

OP posts:
Original poster
CarriedAwayAnnie · 21/02/2013 15:10

It was four bottles of larger for dh when he finishes work.

I wasn't buying a 2L bottle of strongbow and 20 B&H.

I am not really Vicky Pollard people.

OP posts:
EllieArroway · 21/02/2013 15:12

You actually aren't that bothered by the "insult" are you? It's all about the fact that she wanted to ID you (and had every right) & you took exception to it.

Well, tough really. That's life. Carry some ID and it won't happen again.

What a very odd thread.

TheChimpParadox · 21/02/2013 15:13

no you are very posh because you say Saunsbury not Sainsbury

Moral of the story - get DH to but his own booze

Original poster
CarriedAwayAnnie · 21/02/2013 15:13

Yes I am bothered by the comment. Which is why I have complained about it Ellie.

You think this is odd?

Really?

Not been here long then? This doesn't even come under the realm of 'odd' on MN.

OP posts:
Original poster
CarriedAwayAnnie · 21/02/2013 15:16

Really TheChimp? Do the weekly shop but get dh to buy his own alcohol separately.

Now that is odd.

Excuse typos - bloody iPhone.

OP posts:
KatieMiddleton · 21/02/2013 15:18

YANBU to be bothered by the comment if said just as you say. It's basically saying you look like they type to be sexually active at 12 years old. She's either implying you were a preteen slut (revolting and unacceptable) or abused. Neither is nice and absolutely not appropriate for her to say.

Pinkflipflop · 21/02/2013 15:19

I saw this and thought I would be flattered that someone though I was so young Grin

Then I saw she said "the sort" who had children at 13! Did she really say the sort? Rude comment. I don't think I would have been brave enough to kick up such a fuss though but would have been silently fuming and took it out on dh!

TheChimpParadox · 21/02/2013 15:21

I think you're having a bad day - really !

EllieArroway · 21/02/2013 15:22

I think you're being a bit odd, yes.

The insult was outrageous & you have every right to be furious.

But all you keep going on about is that this woman should have had the sense to know you weren't under 25. She didn't and that's that. That's what's really bothering you.

I've been here long enough, thanks. Like that matters.

If your looks are as immature as your attitude about this, then I can see why she asked for ID.

EuroShaggleton · 21/02/2013 15:25

The comment was incredibly rude. The id'ing is funny and kind of flattering. A friend of mine in her 30s often gets ID'd. I never do. :( If someone told me I looked "the type" to have kids at 13, I would definitely be making a complaint.

Original poster
CarriedAwayAnnie · 21/02/2013 15:27

No she didn't have any common sense Ellie. That was my point. Thank you for finally understanding

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 21/02/2013 15:28

Let it go.

I wouldn't be arsed to complain really.

BourbonsandTea · 21/02/2013 15:28

why do you think she got "the hump" before she came back to I.D you?
YANBU to have been insulted by her comment. very rude.
YABU to have a problem with the policy though. Just carry your driving license and remember shop assistants are just doing their jobs.

livinginwonderland · 21/02/2013 15:29

i agree with ellie - you're ignoring the fact that she has every right to ask for ID, rightly or wrongly. she's just doing her job. anyone who has mentioned that is apparently "stupid". it doesn't matter if you agree with her or not.

most people would be flattered to be told they look under 25 when they're not, but you've taken offense for some bizarre reason and you're just kicking off. her comment was rude, yes, but the fact that she asked for ID has nothing to do with that. i think you've taken a dislike to her (because of her attitude, fine) and have therefore decided that she is stupid and that anyone who agrees with her asking for ID is also stupid.

challenge 25 is entirely subjective, so she wasn't wrong for asking you. get over it.