That anyone can provide a decent home education for their child

[akaemmafrost]

If they are inclined to?

I have no choice but to HE ds, he has multiple SN and is unable to function in any of our local schools.

Every single time I tell someone I get or a mixture of both. Nine times out of ten I am asked if I am a teacher? No, I am not.

With access to a library and Internet AIBU to believe that anyone who is inclined to do so can provide a decent Home Education for their child?

I've been thinking about this for quite a while now, why the shock, judgement and sometimes downright horror whenever I tell anyone I HE? Is it really so scary and unbelievable that I can provide this to ds without being formally trained?

It seems to provoke incredibly strong opinions, even from complete strangers, which they feel they must strenuously share with me usually. So just wondering really as I can never really ask them.

Cory you have a good point about how a child subtly perceives different forms of education.

So much depends on their individual experiences and what?s available to them or not.

For my ds school was a way of telling him daily he couldn?t have what others had, he wasn?t good enough, and the disability and difficulties he has were going to prevent a successful adult life.

No amount of statementing prevented almost every solution to every problem resulting in him missing out on actual education, and he had ideas of his own about if ?inclusion? should result in that.

But, would he have been so keen to learn if he hadn?t first been denied the opportunity? I?ll never know.

Just as I always suspected morethan .

I am useless at Maths, useless but ex H isn't and even I can do primary school maths with ds.

I do think A LOT of "teaching" in schools is about planning and supervision rather than actual teaching. I used to go into school a lot to support ds and I was quite surprised at how much time is spent in assemblies, play time or just plain hanging around waiting for something to start.

So far it isn't costing a massive amount but I imagine this will change in the future. My main outlay is monthly subscriptions for interactive websites but even many of these have large discounts if you are a home educator.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Mon 18-Feb-13 12:10:34

"It takes a special skill set, and an ability to separate the relationship you have with them with regard to their learning, from the relationship you have with them as their parent. "

This has been a problem for us. I am quite happy to go into detached teacher mode, but dd finds it extremely difficult not to react to me as her mum; she can't discuss her studies with me at all because she gets so touchy. I know she is not like this with her teachers at school and other youngsters I have tutored have not been like this with me, either: it is our special relationship which throws spanners in the wheel.

It's like when I worked in the same workplace as dh for a while: both of us were known for getting on well with other workers, but we simply couldn't work together because we took everything personally

Cory.

Maybe the problem is that you are trying to teach/tutor.
I don't teach dd but support her learning. She tells me what she wants to do and if she can't facilitate it herself I help her.
I don't think its necessary to separate the relationship into different areas. But thats just my opinion.

It's interesting isn't it that one of the reasons some people are so pro private schools is the "specialist subject teachers from day one" line. Whereas home educators cheerfully admit to knowing far less than their children about all sorts of things, but it still often works!

I work with my DH. Sometimes it is bloody impossible and we are both grown adults! allegedly

"It takes a special skill set, and an ability to separate the relationship you have with them with regard to their learning, from the relationship you have with them as their parent. "

Oh yes, so true! This is where I find tutors the most help - they can guide ds in directions he'd never accept from me, plus he gets all their ideas on study skills so he's not just presented with one option that might not work for him. He can pick out the useful bits that suit him best.

But if tutors are beyond budgets, it's possible to do this sort of thing by involving the children in community learning groups if they are available in your area. That in itself is a big HE issue - it's not universally the same and varies enormously between regions. Where I live it looks like there's loads going on on paper, tons of groups, huge amount of choice but in practice there's not as much as it seems, when you've considered age range, level of interest, location etc. Here there is a fairly large but diverse home ed network and that can mean it's hard to get groups set up because there just aren't enough people with the same mindset and similar aged children to share the costs.

There's a lot of community resources as well as HE activities and learning. Leisure centres provide sports facilities, swimming etc, there's always scouts and similar, library groups and all sorts.

seeker it may seem like a dichotomy that both systems should work, but it whether it does work very much depends what you're trying to get out of it.

I am a huge supporter of HE, but it wouldn't produce an education for my DC that is in line for what we want. That is best obtained by specialist teachers at a young age within a collegiate environment.

In the same way that my friends who HE can well see that my DC's education is an excellent one. But it's not what they want for their DC.

Not everyone who HE is going to be good at it.
Not everyone who teaches or facilitates in a classroom is going to be good at it.
Not every child will fit every type of education.
No one style of learning is automatically best.
Be grateful for choices.

^ what she said

morethanpotatoprints Mon 18-Feb-13 12:22:43
Cory.

"Maybe the problem is that you are trying to teach/tutor.
I don't teach dd but support her learning. She tells me what she wants to do and if she can't facilitate it herself I help her. "

I think that shows our different relationships, morethanpotato.

Can't really see dd happily telling me what she wants to do and asking me to facilitate it. She has become very dependent on me due to health reasons and resents it. If she can't get away from this situation she will hide in her room and sulk.

We get on fine as long as we are allowed to go our separate ways during the week.

I see cory.

I think in your case with your dd being already dependent on you through her illness it would be complicated. My apologies, I hadn't realised.

Its just I hear your comment about relationships alot and don't understand how it should be a problem.

morethanpotatoprints "Cory,
Maybe the problem is that you are trying to teach/tutor."

I can't see that Cory and her dd have a problem at all. From reading Cory's posts ,the way they are doing things seems to be working well for them both. No problem

For me it would be fairly easy to HE at Primary level but not at all after that I agree. I had a hard enough time understanding maths, physics and chemistry at school and would never be able to teach them to the standard a teacher could at secondary level. The only subject I would be happy to teach to A-level would be English language and literature because I have a degree in it.

I do much the same as morethan does - facilitator rather than teacher. Less so when he was younger as the subject matter was within my abilities but not so much now. I work out what he wants to do and make it happen.

Ds has never told me, verbally, what he wants to do. He's emotionally inarticulate and has really difficulties with expressing feelings and wants. But we all know what our children's interests are and I just prod him towards what he's obviously keen on. I'd soon know if he lost his interests as he just wouldn't do it.

I understand the resentment as ds is the same. I just make sure he has plenty of other adult contact so I'm not the only one he has in his life with any influence over it.

Cory.

My apologies if I read your post wrongly. I thought you were saying that the problems you had with the relationship of mother and facilitator were insurmountable. Not that you were managing fine despite this.

I am waiting to see how the new UC will affect H.educators in terms of having to look for work. Will we be deemed able to work and dc be forced into school as a form of childcare to enable parents to work?

Morethan, you will be if you want to claim *benefits. School has always been considered free state child care by the DWP for lone parents.

Whatever your status I believe you will need to be working a minimum of X hours a week that secure NMW, to not be considered underemployed.

The choice to HE is exactly that, a choice. The state does provide a system allowing free child care so that parents can work standard day time hours.

What I don't understand is if those only claiming *child benefit will now lose it under UC, if they don't meet the above criteria.

Just

I read that cb wasn't going to be included in the UC but I could be wrong. It annoys me about state school being considered as free. It isn't as the tax payer funds state schools. H. educators are saving the government/tax payers by not taking this place and they receive no funding in return. It seems wrong to force dc to school, I know its choice but many parents who have to work, won't have the choice.

And people whose children were harmed by the education system don't have a choice either.

For me, EHE doesn't stand for elective home education but enforced home education. We really, really wanted ds to stay in school but it was impossible. Sadly, our case isn't a rarity either.

morethan children in private education also save the govt money by not taking a place at a state school. Do you think they should receive funding towards their private school place?

I think because people assume you will be following the national curriculum. Which would be very difficult if you were doing I on your own. In my experience most home educators are home educating because they see the flaws of te national curriculum so you certainly don't need to be formally qualified to teach what you and your child want to learn.

YABU.

You are assuming everyone has the same intellectual ability. They don't.

Your experiences are not the same as everyone else, which is why you are questioned. I expect another home educator wouldn't question you.

They do it because they don't know because they don't do it, you know - not just to piss you off!

juule.

No I don't believe private or H.ed should receive funding, that is not my point.
The fact that Tax credits are not a benefit. (Well until recently when goal posts have been moved). Considering the argument that working parents are considered as supporting none working parents, surely parents not using a state education funded by tax payers, should not be forced into education. Obviously those able to afford private education don't need financial support.

I don't get pissed off jackie and I didn't imagine for one minute that's why I was being questioned .

I get A LOT of very strong reactions but not many questions. I was asking on her so I could explore those reactions.